“You’re the first person I ever thought about in terms of the future, and what that could mean.” He wanted to tell her when he looked at her he thought of waking up with her every day, sleeping with her in his arms every night, rings, and babies. He’d never thought of having a wife and family, but when he looked at her, he wanted to make promises and spend the rest of his life keeping them.
Maybe that’s how it happened to Gabe and Caleb. It explained the lengths Gabe went to protect Ella and win her heart, despite the obstacles of their very different lives.
“Nothing’s going to happen. Your grandfather made himself clear,” Blake said, silently reminding himself again that she was hands off.
“Yes, he did. If I want to get to know you better, the choice is mine. Not his.”
“What?” Surprised, he didn’t think he’d heard her quite right.
“You heard me.”
Blake wanted to go to her and touch her, and still he held back. If he touched her now, he’d never stop. As much as he wanted her, he didn’t want to screw this up. This was one of those moments when one decision could give him everything he wanted and screw everything up. He wanted her. He wanted his job and life here on the ranch. He wanted both, and choosing one meant losing the other. Or did it? Could he have both?
She took a step toward him. He took one back. They’d done this dance for days, but the other way around. Surprised by his move, she took another step, and he took one back. That secret smile touched her lips again. He liked it and hated it.
“Blake, don’t you think that at the age of twenty-eight you should stop acting like a nervous fourteen-year-old boy and just come over here and kiss me.”
She took another step toward him, and he took one back. Confused, he stopped dead in his tracks.
“What did you say?”
“Kiss me.”
She took a step toward him, and he sidestepped the coffee table, making it an obstacle between them when he didn’t even want a breath of air separating them.
“Stay still,” he ordered, going against his mind screaming out, Come here!
“Kiss me.” This time, the smile bloomed. She liked having him on the run.
“I can’t.” If he kissed her, he’d go nuts and drag her to the floor. He’d never stop kissing her until all her clothes were scattered across the hardwood and he kissed every square inch of her. That’s not how he wanted things to be. Right now, he didn’t have control of himself well enough to be gentle. She needed gentle. She’d had enough rough in her life.
“Why can’t you kiss me? You said you want to.” She pouted and took a step toward him. He took a step back and ended up in the exact place he’d started this strange dance around the room. The backs of his thighs pressed into the wood desk. Trapped.
She’d gone from computer wizard to siren in a matter of minutes. Damnit, he was trying to be a gentleman and keep his damn hands off her. Even her broken arm and sprained knee failed to make him stop wanting her.
“Because I don’t think I’ll stop at one kiss. I want you too much.”
“That could be a problem, since your mother’s downstairs waiting to see you.”
“I really don’t want to talk about my mom right now.” He winced when her image came into his mind, replacing the one of a naked Gillian with her hair falling over her shoulders and breasts. He wanted that image back. Then he had a better idea. “On second thought, yeah, let’s talk about my mom.” That would definitely get his mind off getting Gillian naked and in his arms.
“Your mom’s nice and all, but I want to talk about you kissing me.”
“I’m not going to kiss you.” Bud would kill him. Yes, think about that. A slow and painful death, not her full, soft lips. Damnit.
“Oh, you are going to kiss me.” She walked right up to him and stood on tiptoe with her body pressed to his. His hands remained at his sides, wrapped around the edge of the desk. She ran her hands up his arms to his shoulders. “Kiss me, Blake. I want you to.”
The devil inside him leaped. A man could only take so much. Having this beautiful woman pressed against his body drove him over the edge. He cupped her face in his hands and stared down into her beautiful hazel eyes. Be gentle. Give her that much. “I’ve wanted to do this since the moment I saw you.”
Bad idea, his mind shouted.
She’d worn him down. He didn’t care anymore. He had to kiss her.
His lips touched hers, soft, tender. That’s when that door in Gillian’s heart swung wide open and banged against the wall of her heart. Just that one light meeting of lips and mingling of breath and she wanted more. More than she’d ever wanted for herself. For the first time in her life, she wanted to love this man and be loved by him. She had a thousand dreams run through her mind, and all of them were filled with Blake. She should have known that she wouldn’t ease into love. She hadn’t eased into anything in her life. No, she fell hard.