He turned his mind back to the conversation about the horses and having a six-year-old running around the ranch. Could be a dangerous situation for a boy who hadn’t grown up around horses.
“Bud, how about I take them on a tour of the ranch tomorrow and go over the rules for young Justin.” Blake looked at the boy. “Your sister is right about the first rule. You don’t go near any of the horses without an adult. Most of the horses are nice, and you can pet them. They’ll love it. But they’re very big, and they could step on you and hurt you. Some of them bite, just like dogs. Okay?”
Justin spooned another mouthful of ice cream into his mouth. A dollop dripped down his chin, but he nodded to Blake.
“I think that’s a great idea,” Dee said. “We’ll all take a tour tomorrow morning. It’ll be a nice thing to do. Will you be able to walk around, Gillian?”
“I’ll be fine. I want Justin to know his limits. If he breaks the rules, there will be consequences. Right, Justin?”
“Yes,” he said, exasperated. Then he yawned so big his eyes squinted shut.
“Temperature check.” Gillian leaned into Justin and kissed his forehead. “You’re burning up, little one. Let’s get some medicine into you, and then you can have a bath and go to bed.” She looked to her grandfather and Dee, who was sitting beside him. “Would that be all right?” Another dose of bitter pride slid down her throat. She’d never had to answer to anyone before. Here, she did.
“Make yourself at home, Gillian, because that’s where you are.” Her grandfather smiled to make her feel more comfortable.
It seemed genuine. Maybe he was happy to have her and Justin here. Things had never gone this smoothly for her, so she waited for the other shoe to drop, dread a constant in her gut as anticipation stretched with every passing minute.
“Absolutely,” Dee confirmed. “I’ll go up with you and show you your rooms. I put extra towels in the bathroom for the both of you.” Her gaze fell to Gillian’s arms. “If you’d like some help, I can wash your hair in the sink if it’ll be easier. I’ll get you a plastic bag to go over your cast, and you can soak in a hot tub.”
Gillian bit her lip and continued to stare out the window. Her eyes shined with unshed tears. No one had ever wanted to help so much.
“Accept the help, Gillian. I know it goes against everything in you, but we aren’t going to stop offering.” Blake raised his hand to place it over hers, but he set it back in his lap at the last second.
What would she do if he touched her? Flinch away, like she’d been taught by a man who never touched her in kindness? Get up and leave altogether? Or allow the sweet contact and fall apart right here in front of everyone?
Her raw emotions rose to the surface faster than she could squash them down. If she let herself feel one thing, she’d feel everything. Better to remain numb.
She hated that everything about her told him not to touch her, when a flicker of something in her heart begged for him to hold her and make all the bad go away.
Blake was bigger than her father, but nothing about him scared her. In fact, everything about him pulled at her, like he had his own gravity and she couldn’t help but get sucked in.
Unable to look at him, she stared at her reflection in the black windows. He’d spoken so softly and with so much truth. It did go against everything in her to accept help. She’d done for herself or done without for so long that she didn’t know how to ask for or accept help.
Justin. His name came to mind, and she knew that she had to do it for him. She had to try. It’s what she’d been trying to teach him. She needed to do it herself.
“I can’t take a bath with the stitches, but a quick shower would be nice. If you don’t mind doing my hair in the morning, I’d appreciate the help. I just don’t have it in me to bend over the sink while you do it tonight.”
She couldn’t sit still in her chair because she was in so much pain that she needed to keep moving to get comfortable. If Blake hadn’t thrown the jacket with her medication into the fire, she’d have had her meds. She didn’t blame him. He’d done it to make Justin, and her, feel better. A sweet gesture, she admitted, but one that cost her dearly. The frown and the apology in his eyes every time he caught her squirming made it easy to forgive him. He cared. That thought made her uncomfortable. She didn’t know what to do with a man who actually cared about her feelings, so she ignored it.
She put her head down and held her throbbing temples between her two hands.
Justin put his hand on her shoulder. “You can cry if you want. I won’t tell anyone.”