“I tried to keep in touch with your mom before she died and your dad after that, but they moved a lot. Ron didn’t particularly want to see me,” her grandfather answered.
“Why? Are you mean, too?”
“Justin,” Gillian warned. “Mind your manners.”
“No, Gillian. He wants to know, and I think that’s a fair question under the circumstances.”
All for honesty, she waited for his answer.
He turned to Justin and sat forward so that he was close and at Justin’s level. “I don’t believe in hurting people or animals. When your dad was young, I remember him as a nice boy. When he grew up and was a little bit younger than your sister is now, he got in with some bad people. He started taking drugs, and they changed him. That’s why I didn’t like him seeing my Erin. She didn’t see that he wasn’t good for her.”
“Gillian says that drugs are bad. They killed my mom.”
Bud glanced over at Gillian as she sat silently staring out the dark window. No doubt she listened to every word, despite not looking at him and Justin. He couldn’t imagine what she’d been through living with Ron and Erin, watching them destroy their lives so recklessly. He couldn’t imagine how she must have felt losing her mother to an overdose, and then having to raise her brother on her own.
No doubt Ron hadn’t had a hand in raising the boy, who looked to Gillian for everything. When Justin finally felt full with dinner, he’d asked her for permission to be finished. He asked her for more milk. Every time, she made sure he minded his manners and sat up straight at the table. Not for show but to raise him right.
Bud glanced at Dee, who watched from the kitchen. She smiled her encouragement.
“I’m real sorry about your mom. I wish she’d let me help her.”
“That’s okay. I got Gillian. She’s a good mom, even if she is my sister.”
“Your sister’s the best mom. You’re a lucky kid to have her for a sister.” Blake barely knew her, but she’d earned his admiration. He wanted to reach out, cover her hands, give her some kind of comfort to ease the pain etched into her too-pale face.
Tears slid down Gillian’s cheeks. She didn’t brush them away, just let them fall one by one and drop onto her folded arms on the table.
Justin looked at Blake warily. He didn’t see his sister crying, but he leaned over and grabbed her shoulder to pull her down to him.
Gillian winced, but she didn’t let him see that it hurt her. Blake got it. She didn’t want Justin to ever think that he hurt her in any way. Discreetly, she brushed the last of the tears from her cheeks and listened to Justin whisper in her ear.
“We’ll talk about that when we’ve settled in here and you’re back in school. I haven’t decided if you’re ready to take care of one on your own. It’s a big responsibility.”
“But you’ll think about it?”
“Yes. I told you I would. You could ask if there’s already one here. It’s a big place, and maybe they have one that you could practice with before I decide.”
Blake leaned forward. He glanced at Bud and Dee, both as interested as he was in what the boy wanted.
Justin looked at his grandfather with all seriousness and eager eyes. “Do you have a dog?”
Justin had been through hell the last week—through most of his life—and he wanted a dog. A friend. Blake wanted to laugh at the pure anticipation in the boy’s eyes. He wished at that moment that instead of sixty plus horses on the ranch he had a hundred dogs to give the boy.
Bud chuckled and sighed with a shake of his head and a soft smile. “I’m sorry, son. We don’t have a dog. We have horses. Lots and lots of them. You can pet them if you want. I could take you over to where we have some of the foals, and you could pet them.”
“What’s a foal?”
“What’s a foal? Well now, son, we have to educate you on the family business. A foal is a baby horse. They’re small and soft. Just the right size for you to pet.”
“I want to see them.” Justin jumped up to stand on his chair.
“Sit down, please,” Gillian said firmly. “Justin, we need to talk about living here. You can’t run off whenever you want to see the horses. They’re big, and I’m sure your grandfather has some rules that you need to follow. The first one is that you don’t go near the horses without an adult.”
If any kid could pick a mom, they’d pick Gillian. Blake wondered if she wanted to have kids of her own. He imagined her with a dark-haired bundle in her arms, pressed to her heart. He’d never thought about having kids, but the idea started when he discovered that his brother Caleb and his wife, Summer, were expecting. Another generation of Bowdens would start with them. Gabe and Ella were getting married in May. Soon they’d start a family, too. The more Blake thought about his brothers, how happy they were with the women in their lives, the more he wanted something like that for himself. He’d never envied his brothers. Competed with them, yes. Nature of having siblings. Still, he envied them the women sharing their lives, the love and happiness they’d found. He wanted the same. He’d just never realized how much until now.