When I Need You (Need You #4)(83)

"FYI: I had a business breakfast meeting, so of course I wore a suit. I've only been home an hour and I hadn't changed yet. Dick."

I laughed. "Speaking of dick . . . your fly is undone. You're not wearing a belt and your tie looks like one of my day campers put it on you. I won't even get into what a mess your hair is, Mr. Perfectly Coiffed."

Brady flashed me a cocky grin. "What can I say? My wife can't resist me when I'm wearing Tom Ford. Especially on the weekend."

"That explains why you guys are late to brunch most Sundays."

"Yep."

"I didn't show up looking for company. I sure didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't. Lennox went back to sleep after I wore her out." Brady snatched the ball from my hands.

"You're not dressed to take me on, one on one, GQ."

He snorted. "It's against the rules for you to play basketball, bro. You might twist something important. But the suit won't stop me from kicking your ass in a game of horse."

"Whatever. I'll even let you go first."

"How gracious of you." He shrugged out of his suit jacket and zipped his fly. Then he shot a three-pointer from the side. Swish. He aimed that cocky grin at me. "Nothin' but net."

"Lucky shot."

He chased the ball and pitched it to me. "You're up."

I dribbled. I shot. Swish. "See? Easy pickin's from right there."

Brady shot and missed.

Then I shot and missed.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, Jens, but you do tend to show up when there's something on your mind."

"Yeah. Well. Maybe I need advice. But I also need to tell you about it in my own way." 

He bounced one off the backboard into the hoop from the free throw line.

I moved in and sank the same shot.

"The way it's going with this game, you'll have all afternoon to get it out."

While he was choosing his spot to shoot from, I said, "It's about Rowan."

"Rowan," he repeated. "The single-mother cheerleading medical professional who breaks every one of your dating rules?"

Smart-ass. "That's her."

"What's going on?"

"I think I might be kinda sorta halfway in love with her."

Brady stopped dribbling. "You think, you might . . . kinda, sorta . . . halfway? Nope. Nothing wrong with that vague-ass statement."

"Excuse the hell out of me. I've never been in love, so I don't know how it's supposed to feel. I should-it should-feel more solid, right? I mean, I should know if it's the real deal?"

He sighed. "I'd hoped maybe you were here for financial advice, because I can dole that shit out in my sleep. But this?" Brady shook his head. "Until I met Lennox, I had zero experience with that kind of love."

"Which is why you are the perfect person for me to talk to about this. Walker's been in and out of love with a dozen women. Triple that number for Nolan. Jax . . . he's been in an altered frame of mind so I doubt he even remembers if he was in love. And Ash is hung up on that Olivia chick. So it's your lucky day. I'd sound like an idiot if I admitted this to anyone else."

"Admitted what?"

"That maybe I'm mistaking friendship and fondness and responsibility for something deeper with Rowan because I don't know what is normal." My face was on fire-not from overexertion. I hung my head and set my hands on my hips. "Do you know what a totally self-involved asshole I feel like admitting that out loud? Even to you?"

"Yeah, Jens, I do know."

I met his gaze. "Help me sort this out. Please."

Brady pointed to the bench. "This conversation requires beer. And yeah, I stocked that low-cal, low-carb kind so it doesn't mess with your training diet."

"Been expecting me, have you?" I joked.

"More like I hoped you'd come around more often." He handed me a beer and sat on the opposite end of the bench with his. "I'm a list guy. That won't work in this case, so just go with the stream-of-consciousness thing you do and I'll try and keep up."

My brother wasn't being flip. Our brains worked in different ways and we'd known since we were kids that in order to understand each other, we had to adjust our listening skills. It was one of the best things our parents had taught us, since they'd dealt with it because of our mother's background as a non-native English speaker.

So I laid it all out for him. From my list of dating rules to Rowan's list making anything between us a nonstarter. From the perspective that she had something to lose if anyone discovered our involvement, to my stubbornness that no one should get to dictate that for us. I liked her kid; I hated the responsibilities of single parenthood resting solely on her shoulders. I could see myself being around her and Calder every day and liking it more each day. I listed every single thing I liked about her. Every single thing that drove me crazy. I didn't keep track in my head because I knew Brady was compiling a mental list. When I finished speaking, I took a long pull of beer and allowed my brother some time to process it.