When I Need You (Need You #4)(79)

"This?"

"No. Other side. That's it." He handed it to me. "Thank you." I ran the thermometer across Calder's forehead. Twice. Both readings said one hundred and one degrees.

Shoot. I knew I was out of children's pain reliever too because it was on my list of things to pick up. And of course, Calder needed it right now.

"Ro. Sweetheart. Talk to me. Tell me what I can do."

"I need . . ." I hated asking for help. Hated it.

Jensen lowered to his haunches next to me until I had no choice but to look at him. "Ask me."

"Could you go to a twenty-four-hour drugstore and pick up Pepto-Bismol and kids' Tylenol? I'm out of both."

"No problem. Anything else?"

"Maybe some crackers and ginger ale?"

"On it." He stood. He paused for a moment and pointed to my purse on the floor next to me. "Keep your phone close. I'll text you options so I don't get the wrong things."

I almost told him whatever he got would be fine, but that wasn't true. I had specific products in mind and he was astute to know I wouldn't be satisfied with whatever. "Let me give you some cash."

"Worry about that later. It'll probably take at least half an hour."

"Thank you." I shifted Calder on my lap-he'd fallen asleep-and opted to close my eyes for a moment.

Ten minutes later my phone buzzed with images of the massive amounts of choices for kids' pain relievers. I zoomed in on the one I wanted, screen-captured it and texted it back to him. Repeat with the Pepto-Bismol.

Calder had crashed completely and his body was hot, even though he wore only his underpants. He wasn't a heavy kid, but he was solid. Both my leg and my arm had fallen asleep. But he'd finally settled and I'd have to wake him up soon enough when Jensen returned.

It'd probably be the last time he'd be here. Yanked up short on the promise of hot sexy times and then barfed on by a six-year-old and turned into a middle-of-the-night errand boy. I was surprised The Rocket hadn't sprinted away.

Yeah, it was some fun getting mixed up with me.

I pressed my lips to the crown of Calder's head, taking comfort in the fact that I was doing the right thing, the best thing, the most important thing in the world-raising a well-adjusted, healthy, kind, loving, thoughtful human being. I'd always been happy-content even-with it being just me and my son growing together, going through the day-to-day ups and downs of life. 

I knew all this in my heart, in my gut, in my mother's soul, so why did I have a hollow feeling I couldn't shake? I worried I'd started to attach myself to the wrong person, in the wrong place. Wasn't Jensen more shifting sand than stable ground?

You've always been an island. You've felt the seismic shift of the plates beneath the surface of your life that are loosening the moorings since the moment you met him. Things change. You can fight against nature or you can accept that some things are out of your control.

The door to my apartment clicked, startling me from the odd direction my thoughts had taken.

Jensen set the meds on the bathroom counter. "Has he been sick again?"

"No. He fell asleep right after you left."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry it took longer than expected."

"It was probably good for him to sleep."

"Do you have to wake him up? Or can you just put him in bed?"

I brushed my hand over Calder's head. "He's got a fever, so he has to take the Tylenol."

"Will he be able to keep that down?"

"Time to find out." I shifted, dislodging him from his comfy spot curled into me.

He grumbled and tried to burrow back in.

"Hey, sweetie. I need you to take some medicine. It's the grape kind."

Jensen handed it to me.

Calder blinked a few times and sat up. I held the cup to him and he downed the purple liquid in two drinks. "I'll give you a sip of water. But just a sip until I know you can keep the medicine down, okay?"

He nodded.

So we waited for his stomach to react. Jensen leaning on the doorjamb, Calder and me on the floor.

My son half dozed again. It'd been an hour since he'd thrown up, so I thought maybe we could skip the pink stuff and go straight to bed.

"Calder. Baby, you have to move so Mommy can get up."

"I've got him," Jensen said. He reached down and plucked him up.

I stood, but my leg buckled from being asleep and I caught myself on the edge of the counter.

Jensen turned around. "You all right?"

"I'm fine. Just pins and needles."

Calder's big eyes stayed on me as if he was confused about what was going on. So I shuffled along behind them.

I didn't bother with the light in Calder's room. As soon as Jensen set him on the bed, I sat on the edge. Mostly to fuss with him: pull the sheet up, press my cool hands to his overheated face. "How's your tummy?"