I stared at her in utter shock. It was more than she had ever said about me playing football, not about my football career. It never occurred to me how much courage both she and my dad had to let me walk onto that field every time, knowing I'd be hurt every time.
"I will be good mama, supportive mama until that day comes, Jensen. I feel pride for all you have done. But know, in your heart, as I know in mine, that it is not all you can do."
"Why are you telling me this now?"
"Because I'm told . . . hate the game, dude, not the player."
"Mom."
"Fine, I say nothing before because I get in trouble when being meddlesome botherer in your life. "
I snorted.
"But I'm telling you now mostly because I love you." She straightened my collar. "And maybe you're ready to hear it." She smiled softly at Calder. "He is sweet boy."
"Yeah. He is."
"Too bad you don't want more than friends with his mother, yah?"
"You're always going to rub that in, aren't you?"
She smiled cockily and for the first time I realized I'd gotten that cocky damn smile from her. She patted my cheek. "Still my sweet, strong boy, Jensen Bernard Lund. You will make sweet, strong father. And you will make lots more sweet, strong boys for me to be meddlesome botherer with." She kissed my cheek and then Calder's before she turned and walked away, yelling at my father to get the head out.
I started to correct her: You mean . . . head out? Or get the lead out? But . . . nah.
Rowan moved in beside me. "Do I even want to know what your mother's flurry of Swedish was about?"
"Nope. But it's all good. I promise."
Martin wandered over and lifted Calder out of my arms.
I wasn't nearly as startled by that as Calder was. He blinked sleepily at his uncle and then at Rowan. "Mommy?"
"Hey, little dude," Martin said. "Guess what? You and me are havin' a sleepover in Jensen's apartment. I already spread your sleeping bag out on that big couch, I got Lilo and Stitch and The Secret Life of Pets cued up in the Blu-ray. I got us cheese popcorn, red licorice and grape soda. It's gonna be party in the USA, man."
"But . . . I wanted to read Harry Potter tonight," Calder said to me.
"Tomorrow night we'll read as many chapters as you want. I promise."
He turned his teary eyes to his mother. "But, Mommy, I thought I was gonna be with you . . ."
I expected her to give in.
But she didn't. "Uncle Martin has been planning this surprise for you for two days. I couldn't tell you because I didn't want to ruin it."
He looked at Martin skeptically.
"We've got some serious chillin' in front of the TV to do and . . ." Martin whispered something in his ear.
Calder grinned. "Super Mario Brothers!"
"Gotta learn the life of a gamer sometime, amirite? Tell your mommy and Jens good night."
After a round of hugs and kisses, we watched as Martin strapped him into the car seat and drove away.
"God, I love that kid."
Rowan stepped in front of me and twined her arms around my neck. "I can't tell you what it means to me to hear you say that." Then she pulled my head down and fastened her mouth to mine in a wet, dirty kiss. She murmured, "How fast you think you can get us home?"
Turned out when properly motivated, my Hummer could give my ZR1 a run for its money.
Twenty-four
ROWAN
With the first preseason game in the new stadium happening in two short days, I had purple, white and gold on the brain 24/7. Not only did I think about my part, I worried about Jensen because his part was much bigger than mine. Provided he was finally taken off the injured reserve list.
Since I'd never been involved with a pro football player, I wasn't sure if this was his standard preseason behavior-pulling back, pulling in. Turning quiet and contemplative. I didn't ask if this was the norm for him because I knew how he'd answer; there'd been no norm for him since his injury. So I let it go.
The only time he seemed like my Jensen was when he read Harry Potter to Calder.
Or after he crawled in bed with me.
My stomach did a little flip whenever I thought about how thoroughly Jensen showed me he was mine and I was his when the bedroom door closed. We were insatiable. Neither of us had had this type of intimacy before, so we craved that connection all the time.
All. The. Time.
I hadn't understood how incredibly patient Jensen had been with me, letting the relationship build at my pace, masking his physical need-not just for sex but for affection-until I'd had a taste of his sexual appetite. The man wanted me morning, noon and night. Some days, he had me that often. I needed that body-to-body connection and release just as frequently. But I was glad I'd waited to share and explore that part of myself until Jensen because I trusted him with every aspect of my body-including my heart.