When Day Breaks(36)
Left unsaid but perfectly understood by him was that this was his last and only chance. If he didn’t make the next move, then she was done reaching out to him. It was a hell of a spot to be in. Scared to death to make a move and at the same time knowing that if he turned her away he’d regret it for the rest of his life. That he could very well be missing out on the best thing to ever happen to him. Even if his time with her was short lived and in the end they walked away and never saw each other again.
His courage had been tested countless times and he’d never felt as though he’d failed. But courage came in many variations and situations. He realized that to reach out and take what Eden was offering would be the toughest test of his courage he’d ever face. To allow someone inside him, where he allowed no one else. To let her see inside his heart and soul and trust that she wouldn’t run as far away and as fast as possible once he did let her see what he hid so effectively from everyone else.
The easy way out would be to simply tell her no. That he didn’t want to become involved and that they shouldn’t. His job was to protect her, not to be fucking her, though he knew the minute he took her to bed, she would become his number one priority and that anyone trying to get to her would have to go through him in order to do so.
But nothing good was ever easy. Only a coward would take the path of least resistance and shut Eden out before he ever let her in. He wasn’t a coward, had never been a coward, and he damn sure wasn’t going to start being one now.
She was right in that he didn’t trust her yet. Or perhaps he didn’t trust what she said she wanted. But she trusted him and it seemed the height of disrespect not to give her his trust in return.
“I don’t want you to go,” Swanny said in a soft voice. He hated how vulnerable he sounded even to his own ears.
“Then what do you want?” she asked, just as softly.
He leveled his gaze at her, determined to be as sincere as she had been. And as honest. He sucked in a deep breath and put it out there. The same thing she’d done for him. Made himself vulnerable, as vulnerable as she’d made herself by putting it all on the line. Her pride. Her courage. Her heart. Because damn it, he’d sworn to her that she was safe with him. That he’d protect her at all costs. And now he realized that his protection had to extend further because he had to protect her heart and soul as well as protect her from any physical threat.
With his next words he’d be committing himself wholly to keeping her safe. Even from himself and any hurt he might open her up to.
“You,” he said bluntly. “I want you.”
CHAPTER 14
EDEN sucked in her breath, almost dizzy with relief. But the practical side of her insisted that she make sure that he did want her and wasn’t just caving under pressure. She’d come on to him with all the finesse of a bull in rut, and he might have seen no other recourse than to wave a white flag of surrender.
And that wasn’t what she wanted. Yes, she wanted Swanny. Was attracted to him in a way she’d never been attracted to another man. But she wanted him to want her in that same way without pressure.
“And why do you want me?” she asked softly, bracing herself for possible disappointment. “Because I don’t want someone who feels pressured. I know I’ve put you on the spot and have been . . . brazen . . . for lack of a better word. I want you, yes. I’ve certainly made that clear. But I want you to want me for the right reasons. I hope I’m making sense.”
His response was a low growl and then suddenly she found herself hauled from the couch and into his lap. She landed with a soft thud and he tilted her chin upward just before his mouth crashed down over hers.
He vibrated with want—need. It was impossible to fake. She could feel the erection straining at his jeans against her thigh.
He slid his tongue into her mouth, stroking and caressing, tasting her, allowing her to taste him. She let out a breathy sigh as she relaxed into his hold, his arms around her, anchoring her tightly to his body.
Such a muscled, strong body.
The kiss went on and on, their breaths mingling, until they were both panting between kisses as they sucked air into their starved lungs. She moaned from the exquisite sensations bombarding her. If she’d in any way imagined her attraction to Swanny, it was now confirmed. Her body leapt to life, every nerve ending painfully aware of the overwhelming desire singing through her veins.
Never had a man made her feel the way Swanny did. Never had she had the desire to go all the way. Something had always held her back. Now she knew why. Because she’d been waiting for Swanny. For a man to make her feel that she was safe, that he would take care of her completely.