She cringed. But then she recalled their conversation and that sensation of something giving way inside her, melting. In the cold light of day, and after what had happened last night, Sidonie couldn’t keep pretending to herself that she hated Alexio. Far from it.
She’d fallen for him on Santorini—if not as early as that first night in London. Who was she kidding? she castigated herself. She’d probably fallen for him on that plane, before they’d even kissed. And, yes, she’d hated him for the way he’d treated her, but she’d really never stopped falling for him.
And after what he’d told her about his mother and his father... It didn’t excuse him, but it made her weak heart want to empathise with how a man had become so cynical at such a young age and never had any experience to counteract that.
No wonder he’d checked himself and doubted what was going on between them if he’d never allowed a woman that close before...
Feeling dangerously dreamy all of a sudden, Sidonie got out of bed and took a shower, all at once eager to see Alexio and cursing herself for having left his bed because she’d felt so raw and exposed.
Since he’d come back into her life he’d done nothing but support her, and had taken the news of her pregnancy on board with admirable equanimity. And what had she done? Thrown everything back in his face...scared in case he got close enough to see how deep her feelings ran for him. Scared in case he’d see how flimsy that hatred was because she knew she still loved him and hated her own weakness.
He’d paid off the debts to ease her aunt’s mind and to take the burden of pressure off her. And even though that still made Sidonie feel uncomfortable she knew that he’d undoubtedly done it out of concern for her health and the baby’s.
Those debts were a drop in the ocean for him, But she was still concerned enough to make a case for paying him back. The thought of just letting him pay off debts her mother had been responsible for made Sidonie feel faintly ill.
But after last night—surely something had shifted between them? Maybe something of what they’d had before hadn’t been irretrievably lost...?
Sidonie’s heart beat fast at that. Maybe the lines of communication could be a little more open now. Surely he would respect her desire to pay him back?
When Sidonie went in search of Alexio and found him reading a newspaper at the breakfast table she had a smile on her face. It soon faded, though, when he looked at her with a cool expression, his face unreadable.
‘Good morning.’
‘Morning...’ she said faintly, wondering if this clean-shaven epitome of elegance in a dark suit and shirt was the same man who had driven her to the brink of her endurance three times last night. Now she didn’t feel so bad about leaving his bed. The sense of rawness and vulnerability was back with a vengeance.
The housekeeper who worked for a few hours every day, preparing meals and cleaning the apartment, bustled in with breakfast for Sidonie and she sat down silently. The doctor had recommended a diet full of nutrients to help her get back on her feet but she couldn’t stomach anything now. She felt a little sick.
‘Okay?’ Alexio’s question was cool.
Sidonie nodded and avoided his eye, picking at the food. It was as if nothing had happened.
He finished his coffee and put his paper down. ‘We should talk...’ he said.
Sidonie gave up pretending to try and eat and pushed her plate away slightly. She looked at him and wished she could block out the images from the previous night. The way he’d looked so intense... And she wished she could block out her feelings too, but it seemed as if now she’d admitted how she felt to herself she’d opened a dam.