Finally, she stirred, her eyes slowly fluttering open.
“Mom?” I could tell she was thinking as the memory of the last few hours came back to her.
“I’m here, sweetie.”
Sadness blanketed her face as she pulled herself up against her headboard.
“Can we talk?”
She slowly nodded.
“I don’t know how much you heard.”
“Everything.”
I got up and sat on her bed. “I’m really sorry, honey. There are so many things that I wish that I could do differently. I would die if you hated me.”
She didn’t respond at first, but once she’d considered what I said, she replied, “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”
I didn’t know how much I should share with my daughter, but I knew she was inquisitive and she wouldn’t be able to make sense of any of this until she had some answers.
“It’s complicated,” I began, “but long story short, your uncle Steven and I used to date back in college.”
“What?”
“We were really good friends who crossed the line and started dating. We thought it was a mistake, and I ended up fixing him up with Paula.”
“Ewww, I would never want Tahiry’s sloppy seconds.”
I managed a tight smile. “Well, we didn’t see it as that, and we never told anyone how close we really were. In fact, I think we even convinced ourselves.”
“I don’t understand. What does that have to do with now?”
“The night before he died, well, we made a big mistake.”
“And slept together?” she finished.
I nodded.
“Did you have anything to do with him dying?”
“No,” I said. At least I hoped I didn’t.
Liz didn’t ask any more questions after that. I could tell that she was trying to put together such a grown-up complication in her own teenage terms. She wouldn’t be able to figure it out right away. She’d need time to process how something like this could have happened. I was relieved, though, when she finally slumped against me, resting her head on my chest.
“You’re in a lot more trouble than I’ve ever been.”
50
Paula
“MOMMY! MASON WON’T LEAVE ME alone!”
“Tell him to stop looking at me.”
I never thought I’d be happy to hear my kids fighting. But that meant that we were returning to some sense of normalcy. And that was a wonderful feeling.
“Mason, leave your brother alone. Marcus, stop looking at your brother. Stevie, can you take out the garbage?”
I was sitting at the bar, going over some details for Felise’s party. I’d let Stevie move his PlayStation into the living room, an idea I’d adamantly opposed for the longest time, but I knew the last thing he needed was to be cooped up in his room.
“Aww, Ma. Why can’t Marcus and Mason take it out?”
“You didn’t start taking the garbage out until you were six, so they still have few more years. Come on, son.”
He placed the controller on the couch cushion and stood up. I had to do a double take because usually I had to fight to get him to do anything. But I’d seen a change in my son since Steven’s death.
“Uggh!” Tahiry screamed as she stomped into the kitchen.
“What in the world is wrong with you?” I asked.
“It’s Chelsea.” She plopped down in the barstool across from me. “She makes me sick. I hate her!”
“Chelsea as in your best friend Chelsea?” I asked.
“She’s not my best friend anymore. I hate her.” Tahiry had her bottom lip stuck out like she used to do when she was a little girl.
I set my paper down and gave her my undivided attention.
“Honey, hate is a wasted energy. But tell me what happened.”
“She told Sonya Visor that I said Monica Jackson’s brother would never go out with her because she was too fat, so then Sonya got on Kik and told everybody in the world that I wanted to go out with Andrew Cooper, but he wouldn’t do it because he said my head was too big and I had a body odor.”
I fought the urge to ridicule her ninth-grade problems. “Sweetie, you don’t hate Chelsea, especially over some he-said, she-said stuff. What did Chelsea have to say about all of this?”
“I don’t know.” Tahiry poked her lips out. “I didn’t talk to her. I’m never talking to her again.”
“First of all, you have to talk to her. You have to get her side.”
Tahiry raised an eyebrow. “Why do I have to do that?”
“Because what if this is all a misunderstanding? And not only do you have to get her side, but if she did do it, you have to find it in your heart to forgive her.”