What's Done In the Dark(51)

“Oooh, the mall. Can I go in and buy me something?”

“You can buy you whatever you like—within reason,” I added, forcing a smile. I was just grateful that she was picking up some of the slack, and I knew I was slacking with my kids.

My sister blew me a kiss on her way out. I picked up the phone and called Sabrina. Her voice mail picked up.

“Hey, Sabrina. It’s Paula Wright. I was just wondering if you found out anything—” I hesitated. “If you have any idea on who the woman he was with could be, let me know, okay? Thanks a lot. And Sabrina, you have no idea how much of a help you’ve been to me.”

I hung up the phone and prayed that she called me back soon. I wanted closure, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get it until I learned who the woman was who had been with my husband on his last night on earth.





35


Felise


WE NEEDED THIS TIME. AS I watched Tahiry across from me, devouring her ice cream, I couldn’t help but smile.

Liz was supposed to be with us but decided at the last minute to stay home and finish her history project. That was my daughter, the brainiac. Her partner had bailed on her, and she was determined to pick up the slack so she could get an A. At first, I was nervous about being alone with Tahiry, but I told myself that was just the guilt.

I’d picked up everything Tahiry needed for camp. Now we were sitting in the food court at the mall, eating Marble Slab ice cream.

“Thank you for everything, Nana,” she said.

I patted her hand. “It’s my pleasure, sweetie. I know the past few weeks have been extremely difficult for you. But you’ve been so strong.”

She gave me a sad smile. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course, you can tell me anything.”

She looked down at her ice cream, toyed with a minute, then said, “I used to wish my mom and dad would get a divorce.”

“What?” I said. What had Paula been telling her daughter?

“They still want to look at me like I’m a little girl, but I’m not. I know when someone is unhappy, and the two of them, they were in no way happy.”

Wow. Everything inside me wanted to press her, ask her more questions. But I didn’t believe in putting children in grown folks’ business.

A slow tear trickled down her cheek. “How could I wish that for my own parents?”

“It’s nothing wrong with how you felt. You just wanted them both to be happy.”

“I love my mom. But she is the most miserable person. Dad tried everything in the world to make her happy, but nothing worked. I used to think she hated us.”

“Tahiry,” I said as she hunched her shoulders, “I know she doesn’t. I saw this lady on TV one time say, ‘If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.’ That’s us.”

Sitting there with my goddaughter, I was relieved I could be there for her when her mother couldn’t. At least I could give Tahiry some sense of normalcy, some place of refuge.

Will she love you when she finds out the truth?

I don’t know where that voice came from, but it caught me off guard and I quickly shook the thought away.

“Nana, what’s wrong?”

“Wh-what’s wrong?” I said, struggling to draw a breath. “Oh, nothing. Entirely, absolutely, nothing at all.”

“Let’s change the subject,” she announced. “I don’t want to be sad today.”

I smiled and Tahiry and I made small talk and it seemed like old times. I was truly enjoying our conversation. So much about her reminded me of Steven, from the way she ate with her ice cream (eating from the center out), to the corny way she laughed. A part of me wondered if that’s why I was enjoying her company so much. But then, I knew that I always enjoyed being around my goddaughter. And right about now, she needed me as much as I needed her.

“ ’Hiry!”

Both of us turned toward the tiny voice yelling in our direction. Our eyes widened in surprise as Marcus and Mason came racing over.

“What are you guys doing here?” Tahiry asked, picking Marcus up and swinging him around.

“Auntie Charlene brought us for ice cream.” Mason pointed across the food court at Charlene who was waiting in line at the Marble Slab Creamery. She was texting on her phone and hadn’t even noticed that the boys had darted off.

“Boys you shouldn’t run away from your aunt,” I told them. Just as I said something, Charlene looked up, noticed they were gone, then frantically turned to Stevie, who was standing behind her engrossed in his handheld video game.

Fear filled her face as her eyes darted around the food court.

“Charlene,” I called, waving at her.