I probably deserved that.
“And you sure as hell weren’t complaining about being sex-addled after the first time, since we did it two more times.”
“I was on some kind of sex high, Lennox, because I never act like that.”
“Wasn’t that the whole point? You needed to change your life and wanted to take a walk on the wild side? You did it—what, one time and now you can cross it off your ‘wannabe wild man’ list and move on?” She glared at me. “Because that’s what this feels like.”
“Because of my negligence, I have no idea whether LI would be making a huge mistake acquiring this company. And it is my job—and my job alone—to know that. Except I didn’t do my due diligence last weekend because we were together at the cabin. And what I did accomplish, I left in a pile on the floor after we were together in my office.”
Lennox took a step back and dammit if I didn’t let her.
“So I’m going back to Chicago as soon as I have everything I forgot to try to salvage this mess tomorrow.”
“Wait. Tomorrow Kiley and her kids are supposed to be coming to your place, remember?”
I’d forgotten completely about that. “Well, obviously we’ll have to reschedule.”
“Reschedule? This isn’t a board meeting, Brady. These kids have no other place to go on a Saturday. You offered your space to them. Kiley was really counting on this. So were the kids.” She released a bitter laugh. “I should’ve known you’d back out.”
“That’s not fair. It’s one freakin’ time, Lennox. That’s it.”
“No, it’s the first time of what I expect would be many times and many disappointments.”
When she backed away from me, I wanted so badly to grab on to her and make her understand. This was my real life. Not weekends at a cabin. Not weeknights at the gun range or getting a tattoo. I had to fly off at a moment’s notice because five thousand people depended on me to make the right decisions. She couldn’t possibly know what a huge load that was to bear.
“Don’t worry—although I’m sure you won’t; out of sight, out of mind, right? I’ll tell Kiley that tomorrow is off.”
“Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her I’ll make it up to her next weekend.” I paused. “But that won’t work because I’m in Charlotte all next week.”
“How about if we just forget it. All of it.” Lennox turned and walked away.
Stop her.
A big part of me longed to run after her, but the louder voice in my head urged, Let her go. This is for the best. Don’t dwell on it. Get back to where you need to be.
But as I returned to Chicago—and sat in my hotel room alone—I remembered that where I thought I needed to be was always so damn lonely.
*
“You were full of shit, weren’t you?”
I faced my brother Walker and bit back a snarl. It’d been a grueling eight days on the road. Dealing with meeting after meeting until they all blurred together. One thing I did know: I’d been absolutely on top of my game.
Another thing I knew? I was completely unhappy, and for once it had nothing to do with my job performance.
“You ignoring me, asshole?”
I blinked at Walker. “No,” I said evenly. “Just trying to figure out why you’re hammering me today, and what I might’ve done.”
“You’ve done nothing. You’ve learned nothing. You’ve changed nothing. That’s why I’m pissed off.”
“You’re talking about—”
“The ritual. Yeah, we know you thought it was stupid, but you don’t get it.” The anger in his face softened to disappointment and that was ten times worse. “See, that night wasn’t about doing shots and torching a piece of paper of your bad habits in the hopes you’d overcome them. It was about Ash, Nolan and me opening up about how worried we are about you, Brady.”
I said nothing because I didn’t know what to say. But I couldn’t look away from the distress on my brother’s face, even in the guise of watching the football game. The whole family had come to Charlotte to watch the Vikings play the Panthers for the Thursday night game. Hard to believe it’d been only a week ago that I’d suffered through the Bears game, not knowing how much my life would implode the following day.
It’d seemed like a lifetime ago.
A chorus of boos from my family rang out behind us. I’d paid little attention to the game since the Vikings offense had taken to the field for a total of five minutes in the first two quarters. But I knew that even if Jensen had been killing it out there, I’d still have felt . . . listless. I’d finished my last seminar and I just wanted to go home. But I was expected to stick around another day, since the Blackhawks were playing the Carolina Hurricanes in Raleigh the next night.