I'd buried myself in work to try to forget about our boys instead of remembering them the way I should have. In turn, I'd found myself with more responsibilities at work than ever before, simply because I never said no. I'd left my wife at home to grieve alone, without her partner, without the one who loves her more than anyone. I'd been forgetful and selfish.
And now, she'd found comfort in someone who gave her what I used to.
But I knew Charlie. I loved her - truly loved her - not for who she used to be or whatever fantasy Reese had of her in his head. I'd seen her sick. I'd danced with her on her best days and helped her stand on the days she couldn't bear the thought of it. I'd built a home with her, built a life with her, and neither hell nor high water could keep me from keeping the vows I'd made to her the day we were married.
I just had to bring her back to me.
Reese had his chance to woo her, to weave his spell, to make her feel like he was the answer. He'd had her alone, had her vulnerable, had me out of the picture, leaving him her full attention.
She gave him this dance.
Now, I could only hope she'd give me the last one.
One thing I knew for sure, I wasn't going down without a fight. If I truly lost her, if he was to have her, he'd have to beat me in a fair fight.
So, as the bartender slid me my check and I made my way back into the cold night, I cracked my knuckles and prepared for war.`
Charlie
It finally hit me halfway through that following Monday that I'd let Jane go free.
Maybe it was that I'd been distracted at Reese's all weekend, therefore leaving little to no room for anxious thoughts, or maybe it was that there were two little birds on the shirt of one of my students that day. Whatever the reason, it hit me just after lunch that she was out in the world somewhere, flying free, and I wondered how she was.
I wondered if she was free, if she felt free, if she was soaring high and singing her favorite songs as the sunshine warmed her feathers. I wondered, too, if she was scared, if her little heart beat faster than before, if she was afraid of her future now that it was so far from what she'd always imagined. I wondered if it was a mixture of the two - of excitement and fear.
I wondered if she was okay.
I wondered if she knew I still loved her.
And, more than anything, I wondered if she missed Edward.
Edward had been her partner in everything. They'd been brought together as young little birds, all because of me, and I'd watch them grow in love over the years. They were best friends - no, they were more. They were one in the same, two halves that made a whole.
I understood that, because I'd felt the same way about Cameron.
He'd been gone the morning I'd returned to get my stuff from the house, packing a weekend getaway bag and not staying a second longer. Then, Reese and I had spent the weekend together, exploring each other and avoiding any kind of serious conversations - especially the ones we both knew needed to take place.
But the weekend was over.
It was Monday, and the night of the spring concert. I was watching one of Reese's fifth graders play Beethoven's Für Elise from backstage when Reese slid up easily beside me. I felt his energy before I even saw him, that little charge of electricity I felt each time he was near. He stood to my left, his pinky finger brushing mine where our hands hung between us.
"Hi."
I smiled at the sound of his voice, but didn't take my eyes off the stage.
"Hi."
His finger curled around mine for just a moment before letting it loose.
"Benjamin lost his bowtie. Think you could come with me to the costume room to see if we can find a spare?"
My cheeks flamed. "Benjamin already performed."
At that, Reese turned to me, his voice lower than a whisper when it met my ear.
"Costume room. Now."
He left before I could answer, and I bit my lip against the smile threatening to break loose. It was easy to forget everything when he was around, when his breath hit my skin, when his fingers touched mine. Reese was sweet amnesia.
///
I waited a few moments before I quietly excused myself from where a few other teachers watched backstage, my feet carrying me slowly toward the costume room while my heart raced with the speed of a leopard. As soon as I nudged the door open, I was quickly pulled through it with one hand around my wrist, and my back was to the cool metal in the next instant.
"I couldn't wait any longer to touch you."
It was completely dark in the small room, but I didn't need sight, anyway. Touch was the only sense necessary as Reese pinned me against the door, his hands framing my hips first before they slid up my ribcage, palming me through the thin fabric of my dress.
My mouth fell open with a gasp at the overwhelming sensation, but Reese captured that sigh with his own mouth, kissing me like I hadn't spent all weekend in his bed - like it was the first time he'd touched me all over again.
"You're insatiable," I said with a laugh against his bruising kisses.
"You don't seem mad about it."
His hand slipped up under my dress, under the tights beneath it, sweeping between my aching thighs with an ease that made my breath catch. My hand flew to his wrist, stopping him.
"We could get caught."
He grinned against the skin of my neck, sucking it between his teeth in the next instant.
"Guess you'll just have to be quiet, then."
He slid his hand higher between my thighs, fingers skating under the lace of my panties before one finger slid easily inside me. I fought the urge to moan, releasing my grasp on his wrist and opting to find grip on the door behind me, instead. My head fell back when Reese added another finger, and it took every ounce of concentration I had to stay quiet.
The more he worked me with his fingers, the harder his lips were on my neck, the closer I was to finding the release I craved. I reached forward for him, but as soon as my hands wrapped around his belt, he jerked away.
"Not now. Just you right now."
His fingers continued their assault as I whimpered, and he kissed me quickly, muting the sound.
With his lips fused to mine and his fingers picking up speed between my legs, I came for him.
Miraculously, I didn't make a peep.
He slowed, gently removing his fingers, and as soon as they slipped out I shuddered at the loss. Reese just grinned, his eyes still on mine as he brought his fingers to his lips and sucked them clean.
"You," I breathed, shaking my head. "Are so, so bad."
He chuckled, leaning in to kiss me softer, and this time the passion I'd felt before was replaced with a longing, with a disbelief that I was in his arms.
When he pulled away, his forehead stayed pressed against mine, and he let out a long sigh.
"What happens now, Charlie?"
My hands threaded around the back of his neck, and I mirrored his sigh. "I don't know. I have to talk to him," I said softly. "We both know that."
Reese nodded, pulling me closer. "So, you'll go home tonight?"
"I have to."
He blew out a more frustrating breath, squeezing his eyes closed. "I know. I know, but I hate it."
Something about the casual way we talked about Cameron in that moment, about the nonchalant way I discussed throwing away everything I'd cherished for the past decade of my life - it stirred a poison that had been stagnant inside me. I felt it spring to life, crawling through my veins, and my chest ached with the attempt to beat through the grip of it.
"There's so much more to think about, Reese. Cameron … he's my husband. This isn't just going to hurt him, it's going to kill him. And then there are our families, and the vows we made." I paused, knowing just hearing the words alone were hurting Reese. "I just need some time, okay? I need a little time."
His grip tightened around me again, and he pulled me into his chest, resting his chin on my head. The emotion that poured out of his body into mine with that grasp was enough to make my knees hit the ground.
"I'll wait. I'd wait forever for you."
Mr. Henderson's muffled voice coming from the stage brought me back to reality, and I kissed Reese's chest before putting distance between us. "We should get back out there."
"Yeah," he agreed, but he didn't let me go for a moment. "You first. I'll wait a few minutes."
I slipped back out the door, smoothing my hands over my dress and tucking the fallen strands of my hair behind my ears as I made my way back to the stage. They'd be inviting the teachers out soon who helped organize the event, so I took my place behind Miss Maggert, hoping like hell I didn't look like I'd just been finger-banged in the costume room.