"Our house burned down on Tuesday night."
My eyes were still on Jeremiah in the car, but my heart had fallen through my stomach to the ground at Laura's words. I covered my mouth with one shaky hand, eyes filling with tears as I turned to face her.
"All of it?"
Her lip trembled, and she nodded as tears gathered in her eyes, too. "We lost everything. We've been staying at my parents' house, but it's across town, and there isn't much room for all of us." She choked out a sob. "We were with them the night it happened, thank God. It was Jeremiah's birthday, so we had cake and presents at their house."
///
It happened on his birthday.
Bile rose in my throat.
"It was an accident. My husband had gone back to the house to get a gift we'd left behind, and smoke was coming from the garage when he pulled up. He opened the door and saw the flames, called 9-1-1, but the roads were still pretty bad. It took them so long to get out there." She sniffed, rubbing her raw nose with the back of her coat sleeve. "We have propane in there, you know? And gasoline we use for the chainsaws. Rob sells firewood every winter. The insurance company is claiming arson after the fire brigade said they can't deem it accidental."
"You're kidding. They can't do that, can they?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. We're fighting it, but it's not looking good. If they think we did this on purpose, they don't have to cover it. It's considered arson fraud." Her eyes welled up more then as she looked at me with absolute hopelessness. "Why on earth would we ever do that? Why would we set fire to everything we own, everything we know and love?"
I didn't know what else to do but reach over and pull Laura into my arms. She was taller than me and at least fifty pounds heavier, but I held her anyway, rocking her as she cried.
I felt as helpless as she did.
"I don't know what we're going to do," she said after a moment, pulling back from my hold. "We have to find a new home. And tuition payments for Westchester are coming up soon." Laura shook her head. "I don't know how we're going to swing it. We worked so hard to get him here, and now he might not even be able to stay. And he's devastated. He won't play, he won't eat."
"He ate a little at lunch today," I said, trying to ease her, but I was falling apart on the inside, too. "It'll be okay. I'm sure the insurance company will come around. And if you guys need somewhere bigger to stay, please let me know. My house is … " Empty. Sad. "I have plenty of room."
"Oh, you're so kind, Mrs. Pierce," she said, squeezing the top of my arm. "I appreciate that. We're just taking it one day at a time for now. Jeremiah has been so excited for the spring concert, so we are hoping to just use that as our little ray of happiness right now." She forced a smile before excusing herself, and I just stood there on the sidewalk, watching until she was buckled in and pulling away.
Jeremiah stared out the window the entire time, his eyes as heavy as my heart.
He'd lost everything, and now I might lose him, too.
What if he couldn't come back to Westchester in the fall?
It started slow at first, my heartbeat picking up speed, but by the time I'd reached my classroom, it was a race car with two flat tires, beating haphazardly against my rib cage. I couldn't calm my breaths, my hands shaking terribly as I pulled on my coat and scrambled for my phone.
"Hey, sweetheart," Cameron answered.
"I need you to come home. Please. I'm leaving now, and I need you to … " I forced a few breaths, my chest aching. I didn't know if I could even drive, but I had to. I had to get home. I had to get to Cameron. "Something happened and I need … I need … "
"Charlie, it's okay. I'm already home. I got off early. I'm here. Can you drive?"
No.
I slipped on hardened snow as I crossed the parking lot too fast toward my car, catching my balance with another strained breath. "Yes, I can drive. I'm on my way. Just please don't leave."
"Are you okay? Are you sure you don't want me to come get you?"
I pushed the start button on my SUV and threw it into drive. "I'm on my way. I'm on my way. Please don't leave, Cam."
"I'm not going anywhere."
And though hearing him say that should have comforted me, it only made me cry harder.
"Cameron?"
I dropped my bag by the door, not even stripping out of my coat before I was flying up the stairs. The panic attack that had been slowly creeping in as I left school had assaulted me more and more with every mile, and I couldn't catch a steady breath as I searched for Cameron.
He wasn't in the bedroom or the library. I called his name again, heading for the study.
Nothing.
Panic flared like a wild flame and I screamed his name again, running my hands back through my hair. Darkness invaded my vision from the edges, creeping inward like a poisonous ink until I had to lean against the banister not to fall to the floor.
"Charlie?"
He emerged from the bedroom with a towel around his waist. I hadn't even checked our bathroom, and I didn't care as I ran with what little vision I had left down the hall toward him. He caught me in his arms easily, whispering into my hair as he moved me to our bed and sat us both down. My chest burned with the need for oxygen, but I couldn't get a big enough breath. I couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't do anything other than let Cameron rock me in his arms.
///
He'd lost everything. My poor, sweet boy. He'd lost it all.
It wasn't fair. Jeremiah was too young to have his innocence ripped away from him like that. And on his birthday? The truth of it all weighed on me like a heated bag of bricks, crushing my chest with the force. I couldn't wrap my mind around any of it.
And I couldn't do anything about it, either.
It wasn't fair.
"Talk to me," Cameron said after a while, once my breaths were a little more steady. He peeled my coat off, tossing it to the floor before wrapping me in his arms again. "What happened?"
"Jeremiah," I choked out, and Cameron immediately stiffened.
I hadn't told Cameron about this Jeremiah, and I didn't realize that fact until he reacted the way he did.
"This boy in my class," I clarified, squeezing him tighter. I needed him to rock me again. "He just … he reminds me so much of our Jeremiah, and I've really connected with him this year. He's so smart, Cam. And so sweet. And he … "
My heart ripped open with the burn of reality again.
"He lost his home to a fire this week. And his mom said insurance isn't covering it, and they don't know how they're going to afford a new home, let alone his tuition. And he just, he deserves to be there, Cameron. At Westchester. He doesn't deserve to know this kind of pain. Not yet." I shook my head, more tears pouring from my eyes onto Cameron's bare chest. "He was a completely different boy today. He was so miserable. I have to do something, but I don't know what."
"Shhh," Cameron soothed into my hair, rocking me again. "It's going to be okay."
"I don't know what to do," I cried harder, and he kissed my hair, holding me tighter. "There has to be something, I just don't know what."
"They'll handle it," Cameron said. "Their insurance will come around, and Jer-" He cleared his throat. "He'll be okay once some time has passed. We all go through tough stuff when we're kids, and he'll be stronger for it in the long run."
I pulled away from him just enough so I could look in his eyes. Cameron had been through more in his childhood than I had in my entire life, so I understood why he saw it that way. But this was just a child, not even six years old yet. This wouldn't make him stronger.
It would break him.
"This isn't a childhood pet dying or falling off a bike, Cameron. He lost his entire home to a fire. All of his toys, all of their family photos, every memory he's ever had - gone. And now, he might not even be able to come back to the only school he's known."
"It's only kindergarten. If he does have to transfer schools, he probably won't even notice the difference after a few days."
My hands froze at his side.
"Only kindergarten. What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying what I do doesn't matter?"
Cameron's eyes grew to the size of silver dollars. "What? No, of course not. I'm just saying that this … kid, he will be okay."
"Jeremiah. His name is Jeremiah."
Cameron swallowed. "Yes, I know. And I understand why his name might make you feel closer to him, but this isn't your mess to solve, babe. They're a family, and they'll get through it. But you're his teacher. Your job is to help him stay focused in school through all this, you know?"