"And again, it's Pierce now."
Pierce.
Of course, she was married. It shouldn't have been a shock. It shouldn't have even solicited a single blink from me, let alone the dry swallow that torched my throat next. She was thirty now, and even with the light gone from her eyes, just as beautiful as she'd always been.
I repeated it to myself, the fact that she was married, over and over again like a curse.
But I still couldn't tear my eyes away.
"Right. Pierce," I said finally, clearing the rawness from my throat in the next breath. "Sorry about that. Habit, I suppose. Married for long now?"
"Almost eight years."
I whistled. "And here I can barely fix myself a bowl of cereal in the morning. I thought I was supposed to be the more mature one."
We both knew that was a joke. She'd always been the more mature of the two of us, even when she was just a pre-teen and I was supposed to be heading off to college.
Charlie was five years younger than me, and neither of us would ever forget that. It was those five years that had kept us apart, that had been a constant reminder of what we both wanted but could never have.
Now, at thirty-five and thirty, those years were no longer a road block. They weren't even a speed bump.
But the ring on her finger that she played with obliterated the road altogether.
"Still burning water, huh?" she said after a moment. "At least one of us hasn't changed."
She managed something of a smile then, just the slightest twitch of her lips, and that made mine double in size. Maybe on the outside, I hadn't changed much to her - sure, my hair was longer now, curling over the edge of my ears, and my chest was broader, my arms, too, thanks to a friend I met in Juilliard who convinced me we'd land more tail if we spent more time in the gym than in the classroom. But I was mostly the same, I supposed.
I couldn't say that about her.
I tried to do anything but stare at her, but I couldn't stop myself from searching for the girl who'd stood before me fourteen years ago on the night before I left Pennsylvania for New York. I think she'd hated me that night, and I'd never forgotten the way her eyes had filled with tears that pooled and never fell when we said our goodbyes.
She'd asked me to kiss her, and I'd said no - letting those years between us keep me from her like an electric fence.
Even now, I kicked myself for that mistake.
"You hungry?" I asked, gesturing to the café behind us. It was the kind of teachers' lounge I'd only seen in movies, the kind no public school would ever have. My teachers most certainly brought bagged lunches and microwave dinners, but the Westchester teachers' café had an entire buffet selection - from salads and hot sandwiches to grilled chicken and vegetable plates.
///
Charlie eyed the food behind me, and I swore I could feel her stomach roll like it was my own.
"I had a snack just before lunch, actually," she lied. I knew it was a lie because she chewed her thumbnail in the next instant, one of her tells. It came out when she was nervous or hiding something, and the fact that at least one thing was still the same about her made me smile.
I rummaged through my bag for an apple before abandoning the rest of my belongings on the table behind us. I pulled my coat on, wrapping a scarf around my neck next and taking a bite out of the fruit.
"Guess it's a perfect time for that tour, then."
Charlie only nodded, not looking back to ensure I followed her as she made her way out of the café.
Once her back was to me, I let out a long breath, shaking my head. It was the marriage of a blessing and a curse, seeing her again after so many years. The boundaries that used to exist between us had vanished, but the new ones that had taken their place were made of steel, lined with barbed wire, drenched in warning to keep clear.
The ring on her finger was a symbol of her commitment to another man.
That alone should have sobered me. That alone should have been at the forefront of my mind, but it wasn't.
Charlie Reid was married, she was Charlie Pierce now, and still, it didn't matter.
I loved her, anyway.
Charlie
Reese Walker was back in town.
I still didn't believe it, even as he walked next to me as we toured the Westchester campus, his arm brushing mine as we rounded the courtyard. I kept my eyes on the buildings I pointed out to him as we passed, avoiding his gaze that begged me to look at him.
I could see it from the first moment he saw me - Reese was looking for Charlie, the girl he left behind, the girl he used to know.
She didn't exist anymore.
"Over there is where the athletics facilities begin," I said, pointing across the courtyard where some high school students were eating lunch. It was freezing, both Reese and I bundled back up in our scarves and coats, but even in the winter there would be a few kids who would brave the cold for a lunch outside of the noisy cafeteria. "When you get a chance, you really should take a walk through it all. We have an Olympic sized swimming pool, a state-of-the-art fitness center, softball and baseball fields, soccer and football fields, wrestling room - Westchester prides itself on offering something for everyone."
Reese nodded, but his eyes only skirted over the facilities briefly before they were locked on me again.
He'd changed, too.
The first thing I'd noticed when I recognized him was that his hair was longer. It used to be styled neat and short, and now it grew as unruly as the boy I remembered. He'd filled out, his shoulders and chest broad, arms toned - the skinny boy from my childhood gone, replaced by the man I hadn't seen in fourteen years.
He was the last person I expected to see that day, and yet seeing him hadn't triggered a single feeling from me. It was almost like he'd never left, like he was still next door and I still saw him every day.
There was something buried, a stirring within me when he smiled. It pulled at a cold, barren yet familiar part of me that tried to surface, but failed.
Maybe it was because I didn't feel anything at all, anymore.
"And this," I said, pulling the door open that lead into our world-class fine arts and sciences facility, "this is where you'll spend most of your time outside of the classroom, I imagine. The Jenkins Center for the Arts and Sciences."
Reese stood close to me as I rambled off all the features of the building, the various rooms and facilities evenly split between two seemingly opposite passions and skill sets. Westchester's goal had always been to unite the two, science and art, to bring forth new, creative ways to imagine and see the world we live in. There were dance studios, digital music labs, as well as classical band rooms, an orchestra pit in the performing arts wing, various science labs with their own specific focus in each. It was massive, and I only had knowledge of about half of what it actually housed.
"I can't believe you went to school here," Reese said from behind me. I turned toward the sound of his voice, finally allowing myself a moment to take him in as he marveled at the space.
His emerald eyes were wide, one hand touching the wooden banister that led up a spiral staircase to the second floor where individual practice rooms were housed for students to reserve on their own. Those eyes brought memories of late nights at the piano, watching him play, listening to the music he heard before anyone else, the music he created.
That laden part of me moved again, a yearning for something, but a simple blink buried it.
///
I watched Reese absorbing it, the grand splendor of it all, the history, his gaze spanning the length of the hall before falling to the map in his hand as he pieced it all together.
"It was an amazing experience," I said after a moment. "Some of the best years of my life were spent here. I guess that's why I couldn't wait to come back."
"Yeah, I did not have that same desire to get back to my high school."
Reese smiled, eyes finding mine again as he tucked the map into his back pocket.
"Some of the best years of your life, huh?" he mused, fingers still trailing the wood. "And where were the other years in that category spent?"
I swallowed, eyes falling to my simple kitten heels.
"Garrick," I replied softly, recalling my years at university there. It was a small, private university not too far from home. It was also where I'd met Cameron. "And my first few years of teaching. Of being married."
I felt Reese's gaze burning my skin, but I didn't return it. I didn't want to know what his eyes looked like, didn't want him to search mine like the truth was hidden inside them.