He smiled. I didn't.
"You said you'd be home for dinner."
"I know, I-"
"It's fine," I clipped, cutting him off. I was already standing, clearing the dishes from the table. "I'll just put it all in the fridge. We can eat it as leftovers tomorrow."
Cameron moved to help me with the dishes but I stopped him, assuring that I had it. I told him to go upstairs and get changed, take a shower, whatever.
I was checked out.
The wine was already flowing steadily through my bloodstream, and nothing else really mattered. Because I was right.
He'd forgotten.
"You opened the Bodegas Roda Cirsion," Cameron mused, holding up the half-empty bottle of wine as I dropped the still-clean dishes in the sink. I knew I was being louder than necessary as I wrapped up the food to put in the fridge. I thought seriously about throwing it all in the garbage.
"I did."
"I thought we were saving it for a special occasion."
I just snorted, ignoring his assessment as I slammed the refrigerator door shut. He didn't say anything while I finished cleaning up, and when I turned to face him again, stripping my apron off and hanging it over the hook inside our pantry door, he was staring at his gift on the table.
"What's that?"
"Open it and find out," I answered. Then, I swiped my glass of wine from the table and went upstairs.
It was half an hour later before Cameron slipped inside our bedroom. I was already in bed and pretending to be asleep. He sighed, sitting on the edge of my side of the bed, his warm hand reaching out to rub my back.
///
"I forgot," he admitted. Hearing him say it out loud should have made me cry, it should have made me scream and throw a fit and ask him how he could possibly forget. But I just laid there.
"It's fine."
"It's not fine. I'm sorry, Charlie. Work has just been … " He paused then, blowing out a breath like he realized as much as I did that nothing he could say, no excuse he had, would make it better. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."
Part of me wanted to cry. Part of me just wanted him to go away.
"Okay."
I'm not sure how long Cameron sat there before he finally kissed my forehead and made his way to the bathroom to shower. He didn't come to bed right away, but I didn't care. The wine was pulling me into a deep sleep by the time he'd started running the water, anyway.
A little after midnight, he finally crawled into bed, curling into me from behind. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the back of my neck, but I pretended to still be asleep. He held me so long I began to sweat. Once he started snoring softly, I rolled away from him.
And sometime later that night, when we were both fast asleep, Edward died.
Reese
It was just a normal Monday.
I was hopped up after two cups of coffee and a cigarette on my drive into school. It was surprisingly warm for late February, so much so that I was able to walk across campus to the main hall with my coat hanging over my arm. It wouldn't last long, they were already calling for more snow in the coming week, but I'd take what I could get.
A few students were playing card games by the flag pole out front, Sierra and Sheldon were whispering to each other as I passed them in the hall, and Mr. Henderson was biting his tongue as a parent yelled at him outside his office. I gave him a sympathetic smile as I passed, to which he responded with a slight widening of his eyes before he zeroed back in on the parent. I chuckled, stopping by the teachers' café to refill my Thermos.
Mondays often required three or more cups of coffee.
Instead of heading straight to my classroom, I veered right, making my way down to Charlie's room with one hand in the pocket of my slacks. I whistled the tune of a song I'd been practicing with my Saturday tutoring student, my stomach flipping a bit at the thought of seeing Charlie. I knew I'd have to hear about her anniversary, that she'd probably be glowing and happy. That alone should have made me happy - but it only made me sick with want.
We'd fallen into an easy friendship ever since the fundraiser, but it didn't change the fact that I wanted her. I thought maybe I'd wake up that next morning after game night with a realization that I was being stupid. I thought maybe I'd realize that the best thing I could do for her would be to leave her alone.
But one night of sleep only solidified how I'd felt that night. It only took that one full night with Cameron for me to determine that he didn't deserve her, that he didn't make her happy, and that he hadn't for a while.
I did also determine that the likelihood of him cheating on Charlie was slim.
I still believed the rumors I'd heard from Sheldon and Sierra had to have come from somewhere, that they must have held some amount of truth, but Cameron was smart. He was quiet and calculated, and very aware of Charlie when he was with her. It was like he was fine-tuned to be in sync with her, but somewhere along the line, a screw had come loose. Now, he watched her in a way that made me think she drove him mad just as much as she made him love her.
It just didn't make sense that he would cheat on her, that he would do something so brash - not when he reacted the way he did to me just being in the same proximity of her.
Then again - was that his guilty conscience? Was that him seeing the signs of infidelity, or what he thought were the signs?
Regardless of if he cheated on her or not, I knew Cameron didn't make Charlie happy. Not anymore. She could deny it all she wanted to me, and she could get as giddy as she wanted on the anniversary of their wedding - but the truth was in every touch they shared in front of me, in every look she gave him that went completely unnoticed. Charlie was desperate for Cameron to love her the way he used to, and he was oblivious.
Just a man.
A stupid, unassuming man.
But he wasn't the only one. I was just the same, a stupid, unassuming man - especially on that particular Monday morning. I was so convinced that all I wanted was to see Charlie happy. I thought I could sit back and be patient, let it all play out, and maybe even be okay with the fact that she'd never be mine, if that's what it came down to.
///
Maybe, in a sick way, it was a game to me. I knew I was under her skin, that I had her attention, but she was fighting it. Cameron knew it, too. Maybe that's all I thought it ever would be. A game.
Until I rounded the corner into her classroom that morning and saw her sobbing.
Not crying, not sniffling, but completely broken down to her very core.
Her tiny face was crumpled in devastation, tissues balled up in each of her fists, back rounded and hair hanging all around her red, blotchy face as she stared at a photo on her desk.
Suddenly, it wasn't about me or Cameron. It wasn't about who would win. It wasn't about marriage or infidelity or sex or love or betrayal or anything I thought before.
It was about her.
It had always been about her.
My chest split in two at the sight of her like that, and I made my way carefully to her desk, bending on one knee next to her. I didn't ask her what was wrong. Instead, I placed one hand on her lower back and smoothed my thumb over the thick fabric of her dress. She closed her eyes at my touch, face twisting as if my tenderness had caused her even more pain.
"The kids are going to be here in less than twenty minutes," she said in a weak, broken voice. "And I can't … I can't pull it together."
"Robin can handle the kids for a while if you need time. Do you want to go to the library? Your car?"
She shook her head, using the tissue in one hand to wipe at her raw nose. "No, no I want to be here with them. I just … I need a minute to calm down."
"Okay," I said, still smoothing her back with my hand. "Wanna talk about it?"
Charlie sucked her lips between her teeth, fighting against another wave of tears. "Edward died last night."
"Edward?"
"One of my birds."
Her Budgies. She'd told me all about them, and I realized that was the photo on her desk she had been staring at when I walked in - one of the two birds in their cage with a beautiful sepia tone light coming in through the window behind them.
"Shit, Charlie. I'm so sorry. Last night?"
She nodded.
I chewed the inside of my cheek, searching my brain for the right words to make her feel better. Words never made me feel anything but more pain. Music had always been my healer.
I swallowed.
"Hey, why don't you come by my place after school? I've got a dozen bottles of wine collecting dust - housewarming presents from neighbors and such. And I've been working on this new piece, an ode to my family. I was thinking it could maybe be the first original piece I played at my new gig. I'd love you to take a listen and tell me what you think."