What Doesn't Kill You(6)

She let out a choked laugh. “Most of the time, yes. Just not around you.” Brushing his curls back, she kissed his cheek. “Since you helped save my life, his opinion may have changed. Let’s go back to bed. I want to be clearheaded when I order him to get his bum back home.”

Marcus studied her, jade green eyes narrowed. “You are not planning to order him.”

“No, but I can fantasize.” For the first time since Zach left, she felt a real smile tug at her mouth.

“I assume you do not want me here when you have this talk.”

Her smile faded. “I know he would feel more comfortable if you were not. This is going to be difficult enough. I don’t want you to think I—”

“Am kicking me out, after just inviting me in?” He smiled, and the charm that was so much a part of him slid over her skin. “I will live with the temporary eviction.” His emphasis on temporary didn’t escape her.

Before she could stand he lifted her in his arms and carried her back to bed. Claire laid her head on his shoulder, feeling cared for, the knot of grief in her heart loosened. Marcus always knew what she needed, without smothering her. Spending the rest of her life with him—however long it may be—was going to be an adventure she looked forward to.





FOUR



Standing at the window, Claire watched Zach walk up the sidewalk to the front door. She had closed the shop early today, to get here before he arrived, wanting him to feel welcome, to know she cared.

She couldn’t get over how much he had changed in six months. Blonde streaks highlighted his shoulder length golden brown hair. The surprise of his tanned skin, when she thought he would always stay pale, told her he had been spending a great deal of his time away from her outside.

The biggest shock was the wide shoulders, and the lean, defined muscles in his arms. This was not the gentle boy who walked out of her house.

Her heart beat faster; she wrapped her fingers around the amethyst, feeling heat flare as he looked up, saw her in the window. He halted, and she saw panic skate across his face. Before she could move to the door, he started walking again, each step slower than the last.

By the time he reached the front door and rang the bell she stood waiting, yanking the door open before the bell finished chiming.

“Zach.” He met her eyes for a second, then stared down at his feet, one tennis shoe scuffing the porch. “Please, come in.”

Heaven above, she sounded so formal, like she was talking to a stranger. Up close she noticed that he was taller, the lines of his face more angular. As much as she wanted him not to, he was growing up, changing. And she wondered what he was doing that made such a difference, not only in the way he looked, but in his confidence.

“Yoga,” he said. “And I’ve been learning how to surf.” His voice was deeper, edged with the same humor she always heard in Annie’s. It took a moment for her to realize he answered her unasked question. She raised her eyebrows, and he shrugged. “New talent. It only works with certain people.”

“I hope you haven’t—” She stopped herself before she could finish lecturing him. She didn’t have the right anymore. “Come in and sit down. Are you hungry?”

“Always.” He sat on the sofa, a smile touching his mouth. “And I don’t invade anyone’s mind. Not intentionally. I’ve learned how to pull back.” He tore open the bag of chips she had set on the coffee table, stuffed a handful in his mouth as he eyed the wrapped sandwiches. “Is that roast beef?” The hope in his chip-muffled voice had her smiling.

“Fresh from Lily’s. There’s another one in the fridge, if that isn’t enough.” So far, their exchange had been easy, normal. She knew that would change as soon as she finished her next sentence. “We can talk while you eat.”

His hand froze above the sandwich, retreated. “I’d rather talk first.”

“Your choice, Zach. If you want to eat first, I can wait.”

“Stop.” Startled, she lowered herself to the sofa. “I don’t want you to be polite, like I’m some stranger, or a guest. I want you to talk to me like before. I miss that.” He stared down at his hands. “I miss you. Mom.”

Tears stung her eyes. “I miss you as well, Zach. I am so sorry, for keeping the truth from you. For lying to you. I wanted your life to be as normal as possible, until you found your place in it.”

“Finding out the way I did was shocking. I didn’t handle it very well.” He reached out, hesitant. Claire gripped his hand, and with a choked sob, pulled him into her arms. She let out her breath when he returned the embrace, the ache easing. “I’m sorry, Mom. I hurt you, and it was wrong. I never meant to stay away, but it just got harder, what I said to you just getting bigger every day. After a while, I didn’t know how to get past it.”