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Well Read, Then Dead(30)

By: Terrie Farley Moran


            I decided to return that call first. I suspected that both Cady and Pastor would undoubtedly require more of my time than Wireless Caller. I hit the “Call” button and in half a ring a woman screeched over the earsplitting sound of something like a lawn mower or edger.

            “Are you with my husband?”

            “Pardon me?” Oh Lord, don’t tell me. Smilin’ Eyes Frank Anthony has a jealous wife. Perfect, just perfect. I wonder if she calls all his witnesses.

            The whirling motor stopped and her voice dropped to more reasonable decibels.

            “Sorry. I grabbed the phone so quickly that I didn’t quite shut down the vacuum.”

            “Jocelyn?”

            “Sassy, who else would be calling you looking for her husband? Isn’t John there with you and Augusta?” She rattled on before I could answer, “Vince Crowley called about some committee meeting and John seems to have turned off his phone. Anyway, he’s not picking up. And I was hoping you could let him know that Vince needs an answer about . . . whatever it is. John will know.”

            “If I talk to him, I’ll certainly tell him.”

            “If you talk to him? Aren’t you with him?”

            “No. I’m at the café.”

            “You aren’t with John and Augusta?”

            How many ways could I say it?

            “No.”

            “Oh dear. Sassy, that will never do. I really don’t think John can handle Augusta all on his own. Where do you think they are? Why aren’t you with them?”

            Never mind that neither Augusta nor Pastor John asked me to spend any time with them this morning. I grabbed for a workable excuse.

            “I had a meeting scheduled with someone from the sheriff’s office to discuss the case.” Discuss the case! Who am I, Jessica Fletcher?

            “Was it that new sheriff, the one I saw with Ryan? He’s quite attractive. I bet all you single girls are swooning.”

            Swooning? Ha! Not exactly.

            “It may be the same one. He’s a lieutenant, not the sheriff, and he’s new to the island.”

            “All the same, if I wasn’t a happily married woman, I’d be hard-pressed not to go gaga over his looks.” Still, Jocelyn seemed mollified by my excuse. “I guess helping the investigation has to take precedence over helping John. When you’re done with the lieutenant, find John and Augusta before she drives him crazy.”

            I reluctantly agreed, hoping that if I returned Pastor’s call, it would count as trying to find him.

            “And one more thing, Sassy. Be sure to tell the hunky lieutenant that the crazy old man who found the skull has been lurking around Delia’s house at all hours of the night. Don’t mention my name, but I do think the investigating officers should be told. You’ll take care of it? And don’t abandon John.”

            With a click she was gone, and while I was grateful for that small favor, her assignments provoked me to no end. Oh well, I could at least take care of the one task that made sense. And I clicked my phone to return Pastor’s call.

            He answered before the second ring. Not quite as fast as his wife, but still not one to keep a caller waiting.

            “Sassy, thank goodness. You know Augusta can be a handful. I’m afraid she has moved into territory where I can no longer assist. This needs a woman’s touch. It’s the clothes.”

            “What clothes?”