“Back during midterms, I was trying to help someone I care about.” He didn’t have to elaborate for Gavin to know: Rachel. “They were close to flunking an important class, and it wasn’t really their fault, so I…I bought a term paper and turned it in with her name on it.”
Gavin worked to keep the surprise off his face. He never would have guessed such a thing, not from Jace. Then again, if Rachel was the one in trouble, Jace would do anything to protect her. He spoke of her ambition and her plans for med school like they were sacred—events that had been determined by the gods long ago and nothing would derail them. Even at the expense of Jace’s own education.
Jace was studying him, waiting for a reaction or response, and Gavin tried to grab hold of at least one of his racing thoughts. “Does she know?” he finally asked.
“She thinks I wrote the paper for her.”
Another dot connected in Gavin’s brain, creating the outline of a dreadful image. “Jordan found out, didn’t he?”
“Yes.” The single word broke the hold of tension around Jace’s body. He started shaking, but fought when Gavin tried to hold him tighter. He pulled away, scooting a few inches closer to the bathtub, a study in misery.
More dots, more lines. The picture forming in Gavin’s mind stoked the fury already simmering deep inside of him, and he fought to stay still, to stay outwardly calm when that wasn’t a natural look on him.
“Ben didn’t go home for Thanksgiving break,” Jace said. “I guess he left Jordan alone in our room for a while, because Jordan went snooping on my computer. He found the files that I was a fucking idiot for not deleting. He screencapped everything. A few days after I got back from break, he cornered me on campus and told me what he knew. Asked how far I’d go to keep his mouth shut.”
Jace wrapped his arms around his chest like he was cold, or like he could protect himself from the memories surfacing. Gavin wanted to commit serious violence against Jordan and the story wasn’t even finished. He could guess the ending, but Jace needed to say it. Gavin knew without a doubt that this was the final demon haunting Jace all month, turning him inside out with guilt and fear.
“Bastard knew I’d do anything to protect her,” Jace said. His voice had hardened as his own internal anger overtook the shame and guilt that had fractured it before. “So I gave him a blow job in the stall of a public bathroom.”
Hatred rippled down Gavin’s spine. He kept a hold of himself despite the mental image of Jace kneeling on a dirty bathroom floor, sucking the cock of a smirking asshole who’d blackmailed him into the act. “Jesus,” Gavin said.
Jace flinched. “I assumed that would be the end of it.”
“But it wasn’t.”
“He came to me two more times for a blow job. I hated doing it, but I think I was also kind of glad he wasn’t asking for more than that, you know?”
Gavin nodded, even though he didn’t know. Demanding head in exchange for silence was fucking assault in anyone’s book, especially his. Maybe Jace meant he was glad Jordan hadn’t demanded money he didn’t have or school-related work that would get them both expelled. “Was that the end of it?” Gavin asked.
“No.” Jace inhaled deeply, then exhaled hard through his mouth. “Ben went home for winter break a day earlier than me. After my last final, I went back to the room and Jordan was there. He showed me a flash drive that he said had all of the term paper pictures on it. He’d trade it to me and never mention the term papers again, no more blackmail. She would be safe.”
“What was the trade?” Gavin had never had so much trouble getting four words out of his mouth. He didn’t want to know the answer, but he needed to know, damn it. He needed to know how hard he was going to hurt Jordan, the son of a bitch.
Jace looked right at him, face stony, eyes suspiciously bright and wet. “I let him fuck me on the floor of my dorm room.”
Chapter Fourteen
The coldness in Jace’s voice when he said those awful words matched the drop in air temperature in the bathroom. He spoke with such self-hatred that Gavin thought he would explode from the force of it. Gavin felt only rage and a deep sense of horror that Jace had been abused like that. It explained Jace’s skittishness when they first got together, and it explained his self-destructive eating habits. He’d been punishing himself as much as finding one single thing he could control. Dozens of other thoughts raced through Gavin’s brain, and he fought to pull back, to put his easily distracted focus back on the most important thing in his life.