I nodded. “I know. And I’ve been selfish. But tonight I want to get some things off my chest.”
She stayed quiet but nodded subtly for me to go ahead.
“First thing you don’t know is that Samantha became pregnant shortly after we graduated from college.”
I felt Chloe’s gaze on me, could see her mouth open from the corner of my eye. But I kept my focus on the water, unable to face the pity I was sure would be reflected in her features.
“I proposed because it felt like the right thing to do.”
This time I looked over at Chloe, and it wasn’t pity I saw. It was a mix of shock and confusion.
“And then she miscarried right after I proposed.”
“But you still went along with the wedding?” she asked, hesitation in her voice.
I nodded. “We tried to make the best of it. We fought sometimes, and we struggled to adjust to our new forever. In a lot of ways, we weren’t compatible. We wanted different things. She wanted to move to LA and pursue an acting career. I wanted to come back to this sleepy little island that had everything I held dear—you and all our memories from growing up, my parents’ marina, the sea that always felt like home to me.”
“I never knew any of this,” Chloe said softly.
I nodded. “Samantha resented you in my life. And I’m sorry I pushed you away the last couple of years—but I was trying to do what I thought was the right thing as a married man.”
Chloe nodded. “I understand. You don’t have to explain that.”
I took a deep breath. “But then I found out she was cheating on me. I didn’t know who he was. At first I didn’t care because I was ten thousand percent fucking done with it all. But then I got curious and started piecing everything together. The new hairstyle, her new obsession with the gym, her preoccupation with her phone. One night she went to take a bath and left her phone on the counter. I read her text messages from someone she’d saved as Mr. Midnight. They met up at the Coral Reef Inn on Wednesday nights.”
Her jaw dropped. “Wednesdays?”
I nodded somberly. “I get it if you hate me, if you think I’m a total fucking prick.”
She shook her head. “I don’t. Not at all.”
“Well, that’s a start, at least.”
“Is there more?” Chloe asked.
“Yes, but let’s get some dinner first.”
“Sounds good.” She rose from the ground, brushing the sand from her butt, and led the way to the truck.
This next part was going to be the hardest.
Chapter Fourteen
Chloe
Sitting across from Shaw at the expensive oceanfront seafood restaurant felt a little surreal. Not because we hadn’t been out to eat together before, but because this felt like a date. A real date with cloth napkins and linen on the table, and a little white candle flickering between us.
We’d finished our meal and I was on my second glass of merlot when Shaw leaned closer.
“You’ve been here for me in so many ways, and I’ve never even said thank you.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t need to. I’ve been here because I wanted to be. You’re my best friend.”
“That’s the thing, though. Sometimes I get fucked up in the head and I don’t just think of you as a friend. I think of you as mine. Sorry if that’s fucking weird or creeps you out or whatever, but that’s just the way it is. It’s the way it’s always been.”
My heart started to pound, and I couldn’t mistake the look in his eyes. It wasn’t sexual or suggestive or dark, like I was used to. It was filled with pure love and adoration.
The waiter chose that moment to deliver our bill, which Shaw scooped up and promptly paid.
“Are you ready to go?”
I nodded, even though I wasn’t ready for our night to be over.
When we got in his truck, I summoned my courage. “Would you like to come over?”
“If you’d like me to, yes.”
I wasn’t sure what had happened to him in that storm, but it seemed Shaw had turned over a new leaf. Gone was the demanding, cocky man he’d retreated into in his darkest days. Now he seemed open and humble, and was watching me with a careful curiosity like he was scared I might run off at any moment.
When we got to my place, we removed our shoes and sat down on my bed. I felt like an awkward, nervous teenager, unsure of what was going to happen, until Shaw took my hand and kissed the back of it.
“Nothing is going to happen that you don’t want to.”
I nodded, my heart filled with anticipation. “Okay.”
“And before anything else happens, I need you to know what you mean to me.”