“I’m going to fuck you harder than you’ve ever been fucked.” He brought the tip of his cock to my opening and pushed forward.
I moaned, lifting my hips. “Yes, just tell me what you need . . .”
“I want you to feel me all the way until next week. So you know it’s me who’s been inside you and no one else.”
He slid all the way inside me—not just into my body, but into my soul. And I knew I was fucked in more way than one.
Chapter Eleven
Shaw
“Thanks for doing this again,” Jason said, pulling open the door to the restaurant.
“Yep.” I tucked my hands in my pockets and headed inside.
The restaurant had an upscale beachy vibe. White tablecloths and candles burning in lanterns around the room. An ocean view from the tables facing the large windows. The music playing in the background was laced with steel drums. None of that ambience changed the fact that I didn’t want to be here.
“So, are you interested in Lindsey?”
“Nope.”
He turned to look at me. “Then why are you here, dude?”
Why was I here? Because I felt guilty keeping my relationship with his sister a secret? Maybe.
“For the free food, of course.” I spotted the women at a table near the windows and made my way toward them.
When she spotted me, Lindsey rose to her feet and gave me a hug. “Good to see you again.”
“You too,” I said.
Jason and his date shared a quick kiss, and then we were all in our seats.
I didn’t want to lead Lindsey on—I wasn’t interested in being anything more than friends, so I knew I needed to play this carefully. But Jason had dragged me out tonight, and so the bastard owed me a filet mignon and lobster tail dinner.
Just as it had the first time, the conversation flowed easily between Lindsey and me. Jason kept the drinks coming, and when the bill came, he paid for everyone, ending the awkward debate going on in my head about Lindsey having to pay for herself.
Even though I was having a good time and it felt good to laugh, something was missing. The peace I felt deep in my soul when I was with Chloe wasn’t there. It was like I knew I was settling. Nothing compared to the way things felt with Chloe.
It wasn’t like I fucked her because it felt good and trading a few orgasms made my day brighter. No, I fucked her so my soul could be at peace for that one hour. And I craved that feeling like an addict craved his drug. My drug of choice was my best friend, naked and writhing beneath me. Did that make me a monster? Maybe.
But hell, her deep, drugging kisses made me lose all sense of right and wrong. I didn’t know that I was ready to give that up.
“Well, I’m sorry to cut this short,” I said, rising from my chair.
Our last drinks were still half-full, but after checking my phone for the previous hour, I was itchy and needed to get out of there. The other reason I’d agreed to come tonight? Jason had let it slip that Chloe had a second date with that Bryan guy.
“You’re leaving now?” Lindsey asked, her voice rising.
“Yeah, sorry. Something came up.”
I pointed at my phone before shoving it in my pocket. Her face fell, but it was better that we cut ties now before she got attached.
After getting out of the stuffy restaurant, I untucked my shirt and did what I was trying to avoid all night. I drove straight over to the park where I knew Chloe was on her date. That local band was playing again and Jason had said she’d be here.
I positioned my truck so that I had a view of the park, then killed the headlights. Letting my eyes adjust, I scanned the crowd. Colorful picnic blankets and lawn chairs were scattered around the grass. The sun had set an hour ago, but the lighting along the perimeter of the lawn provided enough light to see by.
It took me a few anxious minutes to spot her. Her head was thrown back in laughter, her eyes alight with something wondrous—a look I certainly hadn’t put on her face in a long time.
A flash of guilt ripped through me. I should have been happy for her—let her go and explore this guy who might actually be right for her. But the asshole in me wouldn’t give her up without a fight.
I continued watching as my heart pounded in the quiet cab of my truck. The guy did look like a decent dude, so I couldn’t really fault him. He was clean-cut and was seated at a polite distance away from her—not touching her, thank God for him. I might have lost it, rushing over there like some freaking jealous boyfriend and ripping them apart. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stay calm.
Fuck. I hated this. Hated not knowing what they were talking about, what she was saying, what had made her laugh, what she was thinking.
She was on a fucking date because I wouldn’t claim her. But that was because she deserved better than me. So, what was I doing sitting there in my truck, watching her on her date? Spying on her. The feeling in my chest was real. Tightness like I’d never felt. I’d lost my wife and I still didn’t feel what I did now, watching Chloe with another man. Her smile, her laughter, her touches—they should have been mine.