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We'll Always Have Parrots(92)

By:Donna Andrews


“Evil little mutt!” I exclaimed. “How can you call him that, after what happened to the poor little thing?”

“What do you mean, after what happened to him?” Chris said. “You mean the fact that I single-handedly rescued him from the tiger or the fact that he’s sitting in Maggie’s van right now, stuffing himself with ground sirloin?”

“Salome didn’t eat him?”

“He’s fine,” Chris said. “I, on the other hand, was rather badly bitten, and probably won’t be able to work for a couple of weeks, which means tonight’s show is off unless someone can take my place. Which Michael has agreed to do, provided we can get in some rehearsal time.”

“No problem,” I said. “Just tell me when and where. You can’t imagine how grateful I am.”

“I have a very good imagination,” Chris said, waggling his eyebrows. “Any chance you’d be grateful enough to—”

“To rehearse your stage combat demonstration, yes,” Michael interrupted. “Half an hour from now in the Shangri-La Room.”

Chris laughed, and strode off to find Harry.

“So Spike is safe,” Michael said. “Shall I assume, from the touching concern you just showed for his welfare, that I can tell my mom we’ll be happy to adopt Spike, now that she’s found out she’s allergic?”

“No, but just because I don’t want to adopt him doesn’t mean I don’t care about his welfare. Here, Dad,” I said, handing my father the truncated leash. “Go stick this back in Salome’s teeth. Just in case she has charmed any fans into thinking tigers make nifty house pets.”

“Good thinking,” Dad said, and trotted over to Salome’s cage.

“Dad, I was kidding,” I began, but he was already out of earshot. “Of course, I can’t believe I just blew the chance to weasel out of doing another stage performance,” I said, turning to Michael.

“What? You’d rather act with Chris than with me?”

“I’d rather not act at all, thank you,” I said. “I get stage fright.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“I don’t plan to do enough acting to get over it,” I said.

“Not even to solve my contract problems? While your dad was bandaging your arm, I got another call from my agent. Also your agent, if you’re interested.”

“Why would I need an agent?”

“Apparently all this weekend’s publicity has convinced the network to renew. And our agent thinks once they see the footage of your sword fight, they’ll probably want to arrange a guest appearance on the show.”

“Me?” I squeaked. “On the show?”

“Only if they agree to meet all our contract demands,” Michael said. “Which will include a schedule that doesn’t interfere with my teaching responsibilities.”

“Is that possible?”

“Dead easy,” said a voice at my elbow. I turned to see Nate, looking up owlishly from the yellow legal pad on which he was scribbling words and whole chorus lines of stick figures. “I can probably have scripts for the whole season done by the end of next week without the QB’s interference, and odds are we can get signoff pretty quickly and come up with an efficient shooting schedule. Is your dad around? I need some names.”

“Over there,” I said, pointing to where Dad was standing with the business end of his stethoscope pressed against Salome’s tawny flank. Mother was circulating through the crowd with the jar in which Brad had been collecting donations for Salome’s upkeep, and from the looks of it she would soon need a second jar.

“Walker’s staying with the show,” Michael said, as Nate wandered off in search of Dad. “With the QB gone, they need as many of the old cast as possible. And Maggie’s coming back—Nate’s still figuring out how. She’ll insist on a tight shooting schedule. She doesn’t want to spend any more time than necessary away from her animals.”

I spotted Maggie nearby, talking to Brad.

“And we have a very good benefit program,” I heard her say.

“Maggie’s hiring Brad?” I murmured to Michael.

“To keep Salome happy,” Michael said. “Or didn’t you hear—Maggie’s buying Salome. Oh, and apparently she’s convinced the animal control folks to do something about the monkeys and parrots.”

He pointed to where the head of the Amazon security guard and the hotel’s acting manager were talking, apparently simultaneously, to one of the animal control officers. The officer was writing something in a notebook. A citation, I suspected, as he tore off a page and handed it to the Amazon, who looked at it and stopped talking.