Watch Me Fall(51)

“Hey there.” Starla laughed, relief and guilt warring for dominance in her heart. “Looks like it’s a good day.”

“The best day. Come in!” Candace seized Starla’s hand and dragged her inside the room, where it was bright with sunshine and cheerful with an abundance of flowers—such a change from the austere conditions in the ICU. Brian sat propped up in his bed amid a mountain of pillows, grinning at her as she stepped into the room. In an amazing improvement, the only tube running into his body was that of the IV in his arm. His hair was a mess, his smile was bright, and from the weight he’d lost, his dimples seemed to dig even deeper into his cheeks. He was quite possibly the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen, but not in the usual tortured-love kind of way. She’d honestly wondered if she’d ever see him smile again, see his impossibly blue eyes recognize her again, yet here he was, tough and healthy and beating the odds. Macy and Ghost stood on the other side of the room, both looking equally relieved and happy.

“Oh my God,” Starla choked out, rushing forward to give him a gentle hug, the words coming out a garbled, emotional, run-together mess. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was the strength in the arm clutching her to him. All that mattered was that he was still here to hug her—that he still wanted to hug her—after everything that had happened.

“Starla,” he said into her shoulder, when neither one of them seemed able to let go, “I’ve never been so glad that you smoke in my life.”

Everyone broke up in laughter. Everyone except for her, who only sniveled and clutched him harder. “Me too.”

“Thanks for being my hero.” She felt the firm, warm press of his lips on her cheek, there and gone in a heartbeat. And she felt…

Joy. Nothing but pure, unfiltered, unadulterated joy. No wild surging of lust, no guilt-washed yearnings of what could have been or should have been. He was here, he was with his family and friends, and all was right with the world.

“Oh stop.” She laughed, planting a kiss of her own on his cheek and finally letting go to wipe her eyes. “I wasn’t a hero, I was just the first one there. Any one of us would have done the same for you.”

“Well…” Ghost drawled, and Macy smacked him in the chest while Brian gave him a withering look. “I’m just saying. I might have finished my smoke first if I were her. Y’all know I’m playing.” Laughing, he hugged Macy to halt her continuing assault on him. Somewhere in the midst of the happy chatter that followed, Starla caught Ghost’s gaze, and they shared a moment of what she thought was mutual understanding. Of shared hardships and trauma and confusion and lessons learned. She’d seen him that night. He’d seen her. Both of them stripped down to their primal selves, just trying to survive and make sure their friend did too. No matter what the future held, she would never forget the anguish on his face, or his hands covered in his best friend’s blood. And she knew in that moment that she and Ghost would be okay too.

It was so good to talk, to joke, to feel normal. She’d taken it for granted for so long. She’d been such an idiot. She’d been an idiot with Jared too, but today wasn’t the day to think about that.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Brian said suddenly, pointing over at Ghost. “What’s that on your arm?”

Ghost’s dark brows drew together, and he straightened his left arm out, showing the fading purple bruise inside his elbow. “This?”

“Yeah, that. Oh Jesus. Tell me I don’t have a pint of you in me.”

“Probably more than a pint, brother. You know you always wanted me in you. You try to fight it, but we both know it’s true. I thought this was your big chance. Don’t you feel the insanity singing through your veins?”

“Oh, stop torturing him,” Macy said, giggling when Ghost’s other hand moved from her shoulder to cover her mouth.

“You’re lying,” Brian said.

“I’m not. You’re gonna have some of my superpowers. You’re gonna be twice the man you were before. Not that that’s saying a whole lot, but—”

Brian acted like he was about to crawl out of his hospital bed. “Candace, call the nurse. I probably don’t have much longer to live before I implode in the sunlight or—”

Ghost cracked up laughing. “I’m fuckin’ with you, dude, don’t hurt yourself. We all wanted to know what we could do to help. They told us to donate blood. Didn’t mean it was going to you, but you were probably about to use up a chunk of their supply. Never let it be said I don’t care for my fellow man.”

“See? We both donated.” Macy tugged up her sleeve and stretched out her own slender arm to show where she’d given too. “And that should show how much I love ya, because y’all know I hate needles.”

“She passed out,” Ghost said.

“I did not.”

“She turned the color of pea soup, dude, I thought some Exorcist-type shit was about to go down.”

“You need a nap,” Macy told him. “I think you’ve been awake for forty-eight hours.”

Ghost shook his head wearily and rubbed a hand down his face. “I think it’s been longer than that.”

“You guys go home,” Candace told them, a note of incredulity in her voice. “Please, you’ve done so much. Go. Rest. We’re good here.”

“Tell us what you need first,” Macy said. “What about Lyr?”

“Mom has him. They’re good. I’m going to go by and see him later, and then probably take him to Brian’s mom. I’ll be staying here.”

“You really ought to go home too,” Brian said, reaching over to link fingers with his wife. “You look exhausted, babe.”

Indeed, she did. There were shadows and lines on Candace’s face that hadn’t been there before, but as expected, she was shaking her head before he could even get all the words out. “No. No way. I’m fine. I’m perfect.”

Feeling useless and third-wheelish, Starla cleared her throat. “I can help out too, if you need anything from home, or…just whatever you need.” She could also add “donate blood” to her checklist of things to do. If she’d spent more time around here, she might have known there was a need for it.

“Hang around for a second,” Brian said to her. “I want to talk to you.”

And she’d figured that was coming, but what surprised her was Candace’s departure. She gave Brian a kiss and left the room with Ghost and Macy, leaving the two of them alone. A million questions swirled in Starla’s mind—Did he ever tell her? Does she know? Wouldn’t she hate me? Wouldn’t she refuse to leave us alone, even if he is in the hospital?—but she took a calming breath and tried to beat them all back. She’d lived in a state of chaos for so long, it was hard to know any other way to be.

“You probably need some rest too,” Starla observed after the trio was gone.

“So they tell me. I think I’ve been asleep long enough, though.” He fiddled with his IV tubing and sighed. “I can’t stand this shit.”

“Of course you can’t. You’re a bundle of raw energy. You always have been.”

“The nurses have already threatened to strap me down.”

Sighing, she walked over and took the seat closest to his bed. Memories of the last conversation they’d had ran through her brain on fast-forward, but she couldn’t get a grasp on any one thing she’d said to him. She’d been so emotional and the confession had taken such a toll on her she’d probably blocked most of it out, not to mention what had happened later that night. It felt like years ago. Could it really only have been days?

Finally, though, as excruciating silence filled the room, her most burning question had to come out. “Did you tell Candace?”

“Yeah.”

Now she allowed horror to bloom full in her chest. “But she…”

“You saved my life, Star. You might want to wave it off, but you did. And like I told you, she loves you. She trusts me.” He chuckled. “And, well, her exact words were, ‘How can I blame her?’”

She had to laugh at that. “You sure you didn’t come up with that on your own?”

“Believe me, I didn’t. That’s just how amazing she is.” He cleared his throat. “I guess you still want to leave?”

Leaning forward and placing her elbows on her knees, she closed her eyes and let her head hang for a moment. No. Yes. Fuck. “I still feel like I have to. Especially now. The cat’s out of the bag, and I don’t think we’ll ever get that fucker back in.”

“I guess not. And I figured you’d say that. So… I ran my idea by Candace, and she thought it was a great one.”

Starla lifted her head. “Your idea?”

“I asked you if you’d consider a solution if I could come up with one. You said yes.”

That’s right. He had. She’d hardly thought it would be possible, but it was worth hearing. “Okay. Shoot.”

“You run the North shop for me.”

Starla’s spine shot ramrod straight, and she stared at him in slack-jawed awe. “What? You want to put that kind of responsibility on me? Brian—”