Providence laughed sweetly.
"I am. I did a fine job taking care of myself back home." Providence replied.
"But back home you had your father, family and friends to help watch out for you. You don't have that here. That is why you have Madhava and me. I don't dispute your abilities, but there are also risks here you don't understand yet, as well as dishonorable males like the one that attacked Giselle before you arrived." Dagaa explained.
"So Dagaa is your honor the only reason you're doing all this?" Providence asked looking conflicted.
"Well I..." Dagaa stammered.
Dagaa didn't know if he could admit the things he'd been feeling, the desperate need that had been hounding him. He could barely admit it to himself.
"I heard what you said in the garden with that female." Providence said with a frown. "I'm not about to stand between you and your future happiness."
Dagaa grimaced as he attempted to recall what Providence might have witnessed. He'd been drunk. As soon as the memory filtered into his brain, Dagaa was ready to kick his own tail.
"Look it's okay. I release you from your oath." Providence added when Dagaa took too long to reply.
"Providence I..." Dagaa paused again. How did he explain this? "I never planned to mate with Vola. I've never felt compelled to bond with her."
"Okay, but you said that because of your oath you never would mate."
"I was trying to let her down easy. I've known a female or two." Dagaa averted his eyes as he admitted the last part.
"Ah so you're a bit of a Casanova, huh. I'll try not to be offended at being another notch in your bed post." Providence flicked water at Dagaa soaking his chest.
Dagaa didn't know who Casanova was, but it likely wasn't flattering given the context.
"No that's the thing. I find myself very interested in you." Dagaa said as he ran his hand over Providence's bare back. "That's the problem."
"Oh." Providence said as she looked down at the bubbles. "Well I really like you too. I thought we had a connection. It hurt my feelings seeing and hearing you after what we'd done."
Dagaa's shoulders drooped. He was such an idiot. He desperately hoped his foolishness hadn't ruined his chances with Providence. Not only had he hurt her physically but also emotionally. Maybe he should step aside, he was clearly not behaving in her best interest.
But just maybe if Providence felt so strongly all wasn't lost. There was something growing between them. It wasn't just one sided. That gave Dagaa confidence that this challenge wasn't a fool's errand.
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, that is the last thing I want. I know it's no excuse but I have reasons for being so stupid. Providence, Cadi males can mate without bonding to a female, but many couples search for a mate who incites the urge to bond. It’s a deep instinct that goes beyond just interest and even emotion."
"Are you talking about love?"
"Yes and no. It's more primal, a biological urge." Dagaa tried to explain. "A warrior feels compelled to mark the female he's drawn to."
"Do you mean bite? Is that why Giselle has those bite marks?"
"It's called a conjugo mark." Dagaa nodded.
"Ah so you never felt that way for any of the women you've met. I see."
Dagaa took a deep breath as he closed his eyes.
"I have felt the urge twice. Once when I was a young warrior, but when I returned from war, I found Idida had turned to another male." Just saying her name out loud hurt.
"She cheated on you while you were at war. What a whore!" Providence frowned as she touched his arm.
Dagaa smiled at Providence. It was sweet she felt bad for him.
"I never again wanted to feel the things I felt for her. Then I met you." Dagaa took Providence's hand and placed his lips on her knuckles. "I saw you with Madhava and it made me happy, and confused, and angry at the same time." Dagaa shook his head, unsure of how to express what he wanted to say. "You seem to like Madhava so much and I hurt you. Suddenly it felt like I was being shut out all over again."
"Oh Dagaa." Providence said as she placed a hand on his cheek. "I really like both of you. It probably isn't fair to either of you, but I find myself wanting you both for different reasons. My life has been nothing but insanity for the last week and I'm feeling pulled in every direction. "
"I'm sorry we've made things more difficult for you. It's okay. I get that you are interested in both of us. I don't want my friend to be rejected, or to feel the way I did. I loved watching him pleasure you. I guess I just feared that you two were creating a bond, and we weren't."
"You are two very different people and you take up different places in here." Providence pointed to her heart. "It's a weird situation for me, because in my culture people don't really form intimate relations with more than one person."