But when I looked at her, I knew she would not be more forthcoming.
She just smiled. “I’m about as interesting as the carpet, Milan, and besides, this is about you. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
She smiled brighter. “Dream. Think of somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, a place you never thought you’d have a chance to. Maybe Milan?” she said.
“Ha-ha, Senna. Never heard that one before. Besides, I’m more of a Venice girl,” I said.
She nodded and clapped her hands. “That would be great!”
“I was joking, Senna,” I said, sagging against the couch, this conversation, the idea that what we were speaking about might come to fruition, exhausting me.
“Why not, at least to start? You can go there for a bit, figure out what your plan is. It’s beautiful this time of year,” she said.
“Venice,” I said, looking at Senna.
“It’s possible if you want it,” she said.
“Did I tell you I had a sister named Venice?”
Senna’s face didn’t change, but she said, “I’m sorry.”
“What, did Maxim do some kind of background check?” I asked, suspicious now.
“Your sister, she passed on?” Senna said.
She had very deliberately avoided answering my question, which, I supposed, was an answer in itself.
“Yeah. She did. We always said we’d do a tour. Maybe I can do it myself,” I said.
“That would be lovely. I’ll make the arrangements,” she said.
Then, after she patted my hand softly, she left.
I was going to Venice, a place I had only dreamed of.
Now I dreaded the very thought of it, dreaded the thought of going anywhere he wasn’t.
At least I’d have Senna to see me off. As silly as it was, especially after all that had happened, I would be glad for her company. The idea of getting on a plane and flying to a new country all by myself was scary.
But though Senna would see me off, she’d leave, and then I’d be alone.
Fitting, I finally decided.
The Milan I had been was gone, and now I’d have to learn how to be this new one.
And I’d have to do it by myself.
Thirty-Seven
Priest
“You came to check in on my health, Maxim?” I asked when he walked into the office I had taken after my own.
“No. Senna came to see after your companion. I accompanied her,” he said.
“You weren’t worried about me?”
“No,” he said, meeting my eyes.
That got a grudging smile, though he didn’t seem to notice, or rather, care.
“You’re on the mend. I take it you’ll be on your way soon,” he said a moment later.
“Do you want that?” I asked, wondering if Maxim had reached the end of his unexpected patience.
Maxim turned always cold eyes on me. “I don’t care either way.”
“But?” I asked.
“There’s work for you if you want it,” he said.
The irony of my situation was not lost on me. I’d spent years separating myself from the Syndicate, something I could still hardly believe Maxim had allowed. But he had, and I’d made my own way. Was I ready to come back into the fold?
“I’ve been on my own for a long time, Maxim. I’m not so good at taking orders anymore.”
“Which is the only reason I’m offering. I wouldn’t have to babysit you and would have time to focus my attention on other concerns,” he said.
The Syndicate was a lot for one man to manage, even Maxim. Though he hadn’t spelled it out, he was offering what could be a golden opportunity, a chance to operate with freedom but with the Syndicate’s backing. That backing would give me the resources I’d need to keep Milan safe, might make it possible for us to be together.
“I’ll consider it,” I said. I truly needed to consider this, try to find the flaw in this too-good-to-be-true offer.
Years ago, I would have never dreamed of saying such a thing, and Maxim wouldn’t have accepted it, so I was surprised by his response.
“Give me your answer in a couple of days,” he said.
“Why are you being so charitable, Maxim?” I asked.
“I’m not,” he said.
Then he left, and I was again alone.
I heard movement outside, and stayed, cloistered, hiding.
I couldn’t face her.
It was hard enough knowing she was here, but seeing her would be my undoing. She thought I was noble, selfless, but if I saw her again, I would prove once and for all I wasn’t. Because I would try to take back the words I’d said, try to find a way for us to be together, and that would be the cruelest, most selfish thing I could do.
About ten minutes after Maxim left, there was a knock on the door.