War(39)

Cum surged to the tip of my cock, and though I wanted to empty myself inside her, the last remains of my reason made me pull out.

The instant I was no longer inside her, I came, spurting my seed onto her pussy and stomach.

I wrapped an arm around her waist and laid my head between her breasts, pressing my body against hers, uncaring of the mess. And in the darkness, I lay, listening to her breath and heartbeat, feeling more alive than I ever had in my life.





Twenty





Priest



“I was worried,” she said a long time later.

I squeezed her tight. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Milan. I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you,” I said.

I meant what I said, but that didn’t change the fact she’d been far too close to danger, and it didn’t change the fact that if I had been even seconds later, Milan would have suffered for my failure. Gratitude, an uncommon emotion for me, spread over me.

She turned and looked up. “I know,” she replied.

I frowned. “Then why were you worried?” I asked.

“After, when we were coming back, you were quiet,” she said.

“What of it? I’m not much for idle chatter,” I said.

The explanation was true on its surface, but I knew that wasn’t the entire truth. That Milan did too showed she had more insight into me, my moods, my intentionally indecipherable demeanor than anyone else did. Before, that would have displeased me, but the idea of Milan knowing me, understanding me at least that much, did not displease me. Not at all.

In fact, that thing, the connection with her, was stronger than any I’d ever had. That didn’t displease me either.

“I noticed,” she said. “But that car ride, it was different. You seemed different,” she said.

“I was…” I trailed off, wondering what to say.

There was the uncertainty of what to say, how to phrase it. Then there was the fact that this was all new to me. I had never been in this situation before, whispering quietly in the dark as I held someone close, someone that I cared about.

“I didn’t know how you felt,” I said. “I wasn’t sure what you thought about what you’d seen.”

We were quiet again, our breaths the only sound in the room. I waited, wondering what she might say.

“That’s fair,” she said. “To be honest, I wasn’t either.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She paused a moment and then continued. “Those guys,” she said, and then she shivered. I squeezed her a little bit tighter and stroked my hand down her arm, silently encouraging her to go on.

“Those guys. They weren’t nice. But…”

“But what?” I asked flatly.

“You hurt them. Badly,” she said.

“Yes,” I responded. I’d taken pleasure in doing so. I’d told Milan that violence was a necessity, but I rarely enjoyed it, viewed it more as a tool of my profession. They had been an exception.

“Why? They had gotten the message. They wouldn’t have done anything else,” she said.

“You know what they would have done to you if I hadn’t intervened?” I said.

She nodded.

“Isn’t that reason enough?” I asked.

“I guess. But…” She trailed off.

“Don’t tell me you feel sorry for them, Milan,” I said, meeting her eyes.

She returned my stare, her expression earnest. “I don’t feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for you,” she said.

I was stunned by what she said, and I searched her expression for an explanation, some hint that what she said was not true.

But all I found in it was honesty, truth. She felt sorry for me, thought I was worth her pity, thought I might accept it.

“Why? I might enjoy hurting people,” I finally said.

“You don’t.”

Her words, her certainty made me angry, unspeakably so. I disentangled from her, ignoring the emptiness I felt when we no longer touched, and then stood. Milan didn’t even flinch, just continued to watch me.

“Milan, there’s been a misunderstanding,” I said.

“Explain this misunderstanding,” she replied.

“It’s my fault,” I continued, “I allowed my regret about the circumstances to cloud my judgment, and I’ve been too soft with you. That softness has allowed you to think you know me. That you understand me. You don’t.”

“Don’t I?” she said.

I scowled, could feel the muscles in my face twisting with the displeasure I felt. I paused, breathed deep, and then continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “Do you want to know why I did that, hurt those men so badly?”

I paused, regarding her as she considered her answer.