Wanting to Remember,Trying to Forget(54)

“So Kevin,” he began nervously, “what happened with that girl?”

Balled fists, clenched jaw and then he stood up. “I don’t want to talk about her…ever.” He walked to the girls on the other side of the room and took his ice-cream drenched in chocolate sauce with him. “Hey, girls,” he said, kneeling down in front of them. “Why don’t we go watch a movie?”

“Yeah,” Makayla chirped.

“What do you wanna watch?” Mackenzie asked.

“How about…Wreck-it Ralph?” Kevin responded.

“Uncle Kevin, you hate Vanelope,” Madison said. “You say she talks too much.”

The sigh he released sounded disconsolate. “I might have had a slight change of heart.”

Madison jumped onto his back, he took Mackenzie in one arm and Makayla in the arm that held his bowl of ice cream and walked out.

And so ended their attempt to bond with their brother. “Good talk,” Max said even though he was already gone.

“Well, that went well.” Jordan slowly chewed the cake in her mouth. “Something definitely happened with that girl.” She was about to take another bite then stopped. “Hey, how come Kevin never snaps at you? If that were me, he would have bit my head off, but all you get is I don’t wanna talk about her.”

“Because I’m his favorite.”

“Yeah, I doubt that.”

He had only been alone with Jordan for a short while when Kevin came racing back into the dining room and peeked through the window overlooking the front yard.

“Fuck!”

“What’s wrong, Bink?” Jordan asked.

“Nothing,” he grumbled. “She’s just bat-shit fucking crazy.”

He ran out of the room and a few seconds later they heard the hard slam of the front door.

Jordan looked around the room, completely confused. “What’s going on?”

“It’s her!” Max hurried to the window. “Get up! Get up! It’s her. The girl he doesn’t wanna talk about.”

“How do you know?”

“She’s the one who’s bat-shit crazy.”

“I told you to stay away from me!” Kevin shouted once he was outside and that was the only thing they heard before his voice became muffled with wind and distance.

They watched as he stormed down the snow-covered driveway, chasing after a girl who had quickened her steps to a power-jog to get away from him. Their brother was short, but she was tiny even compared to him. He caught up to her in the middle of the street.

“She’s dressed like an eskimo,” Jordan commented.

“I don’t think she’s from around here. She has a weird accent. Maybe she’s not used to the weather.”

Max couldn’t really see clearly from so far away, but they were definitely having a heated argument. “Oh, God. Kevin’s gonna say something awful.”

“What are you two doing?” Mom asked from behind them. “Are you two spying on your brother? Get away from that window!”

Jordan glanced back to look at her. “Momma, when I was making out with Billy Mason in the backyard and Kevin and Perry were spying on me from the tree-house, you didn’t say anything.”

“That’s because you shouldn’t have been making out with Billy Mason in the backyard. Now leave your brother alone.” She picked up the dirty dessert dishes and left the room again.

“Can she make it any more obvious that he’s her favorite?” Jordan asked irritably.

Max was too engrossed in the disaster unfolding outside to answer her question. “Oh, Jo-jo, this is bad.”

“Give him some credit, Max. If he didn’t want to talk to her, he would have stayed inside.”

This was easy money. Jordan couldn’t see the signs. Kevin’s hands were clasped at the back of his head, a clear sign of stress, anger or hurt. It didn’t matter which one it was. Any of them was enough to make him snap. “Twenty bucks. He’s gonna say something awful. She’s gonna jump in her car and drive off.”

“Deal.”

His words weren’t even cold before that exact sequence of events played out. Max held out his hand when the car disappeared around the curb. “Pay up, Jo-jo.”

Jordan left the room for a minute, returned with her purse, and paid him his winnings.

“Easiest twenty bucks I’ve ever made.”

Max grinned even though he still felt wary. Whoever that bat-shit crazy girl was, she had certainly rubbed Kevin up the wrong way.

* * *

Danny walked into Dominic’s old bedroom and closed the door, feeling completely exhausted. Another incredible Christmas at the Shepards. More beautiful memories to slot in place.

She had a shower, washing off the bright pink make-up the girls had plastered on her face. She saw Max sitting at the edge of the bed when she came out of the bathroom.

“Did you have a good time?” he asked.

“Always.” She sat down beside him. “Today brought back even more memories and…I wanna ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why didn’t you ever ask me out?”

“What?”

She shifted her body so that she could have a better look at him. “When Shane was talking this afternoon, he said that I thought you were gonna ask me out and it got me thinking and…maybe it’s because I just got it all back but I remember it so clearly now. I was waiting for you to ask me out.”

His forehead crinkled. “I don’t understand. That was years ago.”

“I know. When we first met, I had the biggest crush on you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That’s why I changed our deal. I gave you back the money and I asked you to type out all my assignments so I could spend more time with you. And then I started asking you to parties. And then we were practicing our Timbaland dance for weeks in my dorm room, every day, hours at a time…so when you first invited me to spend Christmas with your family, I thought you were going to ask me out for sure…but you didn’t.” She shook her head. “You would look at me sometimes and I would think, of course this guy is in to me and then nothing. So when Anthony came along…I only dated him to make you jealous and you were so jealous. It didn’t make sense that you still did nothing. He told me he couldn’t deal with you being so over-protective and I needed to choose. I didn’t even think twice about it. And when you carried me to my dorm room, I thought you were gonna kiss me…and you didn’t.”

Max huffed out a frustrated breath, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “You were drunk, Danny.”

“That day, yeah, but what about the next day, after I broke up with him…or the day after that? I initiated everything and I was just waiting for you to do…something.”

Memories were amazing and it’s so easy for people to take them for granted. Memories aren’t just thoughts or reminders of events. They shaped a person, made them who they are. You don’t dive into a pool unless you remember how to swim. You don’t touch a hot stove because you remember you got burned.

Like driving to a new place for the first time, nervous and cautious, taking in all the details so you don’t get lost. But after it’s been done a few times, you start doing it without thinking. The details and feelings fade away. Memories become habits, second nature. That was what had happened with Max.

“After a few months,” Danny said, “I kinda buried the idea that we could be more than friends. I told myself to stop reading into everything you did. I stopped getting excited every time you kissed the side of my head. I stopped seeing…all those little things.”

And that’s what Max became after a while. A faded crush. He was just one of those things she got used to, the drive without taking in the details. Months turned into years and she simply forgot that once upon a time she had wanted something more. It became habitual to suppress her feelings, second nature, something she did without thinking and it was so easy to take him for granted.

Max moved off the bed and knelt down in front her so he could look up at her face. “I didn’t know,” he whispered. “You are so out of my league, I didn’t think…I guess I’m just as guilty for not seeing you. We’ve wasted a lot of time, Danny. Both of us waiting for the other to make a move. Seven fucking years.” He was more than exasperated. “I’m not wasting any more time, not one more minute.” He reached into his pocket and her heart stopped when she saw the blue suede box in his hand, the box she thought was still in her purse. “You are the most difficult person in the world. You are stubborn, absent-minded, violent with a nasty fucking temper…but you are so easy to love. I know it’s taken us a long time to get to this point, but let’s make it official.” He opened the box, a nervous smile tugging at his lips. “Danielle…will you marry me?”

She threw herself at him with so much force he fell back against the floor. “Yes!” she shrieked.

She kissed him with the longing of seven years, losing herself in their history. It was astounding what had happened in one year. From friends to strangers and strangers to lovers. Small gifts and big fights. Good friends and bad decisions. First kisses and last chances. Old habits and new beginnings. Losing her past only to find a future in the arms of her best friend.