“Oh, God, Amber,” she gasped, opening the door. “What have I done?”
“You can fix this,” Amber said quickly. “Get yourself cleaned up. You can still catch him before he leaves.”
She took a few minutes to brush her teeth and change into a decent pair of jeans and a V-neck sweater. She grabbed her purse and raced to the front door.
“Where do I go?” she asked in a despairing whisper.
Charlie checked his watch. “His flight only leaves in a few hours. He’s probably still at the motel. Sand and…Sand and Surf…no…Surfin’ Sands.”
She nodded. “Thanks, Charlie…for everything.”
“Yeah,” he responded tersely. “But if you hurt him again, I will rip your fucking—”
“I won’t,” Danny said.
She understood then that Charlie only tolerated her when Max was happy. She gave Amber a quick hug to show her appreciation and ran off.
* * *
Danny exhaled a breath of relief when she saw his car in the parking lot of Surfin’ Sands motel. She parked her car beside his and quickly wiped the tears that had been streaming down her face the whole drive there. Heavy gray clouds rolled in above her, darkening the sky even though it was only five o’ clock.
It wasn’t too late, she told herself as she got out. She could fix this. Yet her legs felt as heavy as lead as she walked towards the motel rooms.
She was afraid to face him. An angry Max was hard to deal with. A hurt Max even more so. But when Max was angry and hurt, he should be avoided at all costs. There was no telling what awaited her on the other side of the door, but she was willing to take anything if it meant she could get him back.
She noticed the door of room 307 was slightly ajar and a familiar suitcase stood at the entrance. That was his room. Room 307 was the room she had woken up in at the hospital. It was where they had made a fresh start and she was hoping that it would mean the same thing now.
She slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside. She saw him at the bed, tossing his clothes into another suitcase. Fine stubble lined his jaw and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.
“Hey,” she greeted softly.
He didn’t respond.
“Max?”
He continued packing, not even taking a second to acknowledge her presence.
“Can we talk?”
His jaw clenched. He still didn’t say anything, but at least that was some kind of reaction. His body tensed as she approached him so she stopped a few feet away.
“Max?” she said cautiously.
He slammed the bag shut and zipped it up. Photographs of the two of them fluttered to the floor as he pulled it off the bed and headed for the door. She quickly stepped in front of him.
His nostrils flared slightly and when he spoke, his voice was low and acerbic. “Get out of my way.”
He stepped to the right and she stepped in front of him. He stepped to the left and she stepped in front of him. He continued trying to move past her, but she kept blocking his path.
“Max, stop. Stop…Stop.” She lifted both hands in front of him. “Please stop and talk to me.”
“Talk? Now you wanna talk?” He sneered and tried to move past her but she stepped in front of him again.
“Stop!”
He flung his suitcase across the room and spun around, clasping his hands behind his head. “Fuck!”
When he turned back to face her, those playful brown eyes were dead inside.
“Fine,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You wanna talk? Tell me what you have to say. You wanna remind me of how I fucked up? You wanna tell me how much you regret everything that happened between us, how you wish you could take it all back? Or do you wanna tell me again just how much you love Richard? You wanna talk, Danny? C’mon, let’s talk.”
His derisive tone told her to choose her words carefully. “I was just confused. Everything came back so fast and I just wanted to focus on one thing at a time. Richard…was the first person I thought about and—”
“Of course. Richard always comes first.”
His sarcasm was pushing her to breaking point. “Max, you’re not listening to me. I thought I was in love with Richard, but today Amber and Charlie came over…and they convinced me that you’re the one I’m actually in love with.”
“Really, Danny?” His face dropped. “They had to convince you that you actually had feelings for me?”
“That was the wrong word,” she said instantly, shaking her head at her stupidity. “That was the wrong thing to say. It wasn’t like that. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t know how to make you understand what happened.”
“Oh, I understand. Somewhere along the line you realized that Richard never cared about you. Option one didn’t work out so you’re coming back for option two.” Leaning forward, he placed his elbows on his thighs. A humorless smile twitched briefly on his face, but it disappeared just as fast and was replaced with hostility. “Here’s the thing, though. I’ve had you. It wasn’t that long ago when those lips were only mine, when your body begged for only me. I know what it’s like to have all of you and I can’t go back to being second best anymore.”
Tears fogged her eyes. “You were never second best, Max. I don’t want Richard. I don’t want anyone else. I know I said some awful things. I was angry at the time. I didn’t mean any of it. Can’t we find a way to put it behind us?”
“We?” A sardonic smirk curved on his lips. “There is no we. You and I never should’ve happened.”
Now she knew how he felt last week. The brutality of her own words hit her like a ton of bricks.
He shifted on the bed, idly unravelling loose strings from the cheap sheets. “You wanna know why I lied to you?” He didn’t even look up to see what her response was. “I was so tired of being invisible, so desperate to have you.” His eyes met hers then. “And I thought…if I could kiss you…just once…have you see me…just once, it would be worth it. Even if you found out the truth and hated me forever…if I just had that…it would be worth it.” He stood up and she saw anger flash in his eyes. “But it isn’t worth it. This ache right here…” He slammed his fist against his chest. “…just isn’t worth it. Remembering the ecstasy on your face every time we made love only for you to turn around and say that I forced you into my bed…It isn’t worth it. Listening to you tell me that you love another man after everything we’ve shared isn’t fucking worth it!”
The vein on side of his neck ticked with ferocity. His temper was rising and she was almost scared of what else might come out of his mouth.
What goes around comes around. He had told twice before to watch what she said and she had not heeded the warnings. Now all the despicable things she had told him were coming back to bite and every word that left his lips was dripping with unmitigated resentment. This was seven years of pent-up aggression and she had hurt him too many times, took him for granted too many times.
“You don’t know what it’s like,” he said, “to wake up every morning knowing that the happiest moments in my life were all a lie. You don’t know what it feels like to yearn for a woman who doesn’t even know I’m there, to sit back and watch her date jerk after jerk and not even see me.”
He stormed towards her, raging and relentless. She backed up, taking quick steps until her back hit the wall. He placed his hands on either side of her, trapping her between his arms so there was no escaping his wrath.
“Max—”
“You don’t know what it feels like to love someone so completely and then hear her say that none of it was fucking real.” His voice grew louder, thundering in her ears. “You don’t know what it’s like to remember everything and Still. Feel. This. EMPTY!”
His fist pounded against the drywall beside her head as he said each of the last four words, cracking through its flimsy exterior. His hand hovered over her face, desperate to touch her, but he didn’t give in to the urge. Somehow not having any contact hurt more than the day he had taken her so viciously in the bathroom.
As if he couldn’t take the sight of her anymore, he dropped his head, huffing out air in choked gasps. His eyes caught sight of the scar he loved so much, peeping out at the top of her V-neck sweater, and that was all it took to utterly destroy him.
His breathing became more unsteady, hitching and staggering as tears rolled down his cheeks. Driven by habit, he raised his hand and slowly moved his fingers over the scar and even though she knew he was aching to touch her, he still didn’t do it. Clenching his hand into a tight fist, he stepped back. “You need to leave.”
“No…Max, we can—”
“Just go.”
She shook her head, not wanting to accept that they could actually be over. She was going to fight for him. “No. We’re stronger than this.”
He ran one hand over his tear-drenched face. “Danny, please…please…I’m begging you. Just go.”
The pain etched on his face was unbearable to see and it was even more agonizing to know that she was the cause of it. “I’m not going,” she said shakily as tears filled her eyes.