“Yeah, that’s not going to happen either,” Amber chimed in. “It doesn’t matter anyway. You are s-o-o-o not his type. He doesn’t like loose women.”
Danny fought a smile. Amber had always had a soft spot for Max and the last thing she wanted was for Jennifer to get her hands on him. She was just protective that way. Amber was the type of person that never took slack from anyone. She was hard and told things as they were. She was feisty for someone so small. Even her boss was scared of her. Danny had learnt a lot from her over the years. Amber had taught her how to be more confident and more assertive. The only difference was that Danny knew when to hold her tongue. Amber, on the other hand, felt no need to keep her opinions to herself, no matter how offensive they might be.
“You’re such a bitch, Amber!”
“It takes one to know one, Jennifer.”
“We are ladies,” Lauren interjected as she adjusted herself on the pool lounger. “How about we start acting like it?”
Jen rolled her eyes, clearly upset that her mother had not taken her side. She let out a disgruntled snort, quickly stood up and stormed off.
“Fuck, Lauren. How do you put up with her?” Amber asked.
Lauren let out a deep sigh and shut her eyes. “With an insane amount of effort, Ambrosia.”
Amber and Danny giggled at her laid back response.
“Now, hush, ladies. After all, we did come out here to relax.”
* * *
Max sighed. He had been staring at his computer screen for the past forty-five minutes and still could not find any inspiration for his new web design. He usually never suffered from a creative block, but it seemed like all he was able to concentrate on lately was Danny.
Granted, a huge chunk of his day was generally spent thinking about her. That was the way it had been for the past six years but ever since she moved in with him two and half weeks ago, he could not get her out of his head. She would traipse around the apartment, wearing her tiny shorts and her tight little tank tops, and all that meant for him was another unproductive day.
The message tone that rang on his phone was a further distraction. He knew before he even unlocked it that it was his sister, Jordan. She had not texted him in four days so he was expecting something either outrageously funny or mildly nerdy. But he was wrong. It was outrageously nerdy.
Jordan: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? NONE. That’s a hardware problem.
Max: Lame! I expected more from you.
Max: P.S I’m not a programmer anymore
Jordan: Aren’t all IT guys the same?
Max: I’m not gonna dignify that with a response. Keep trying though.
He placed his phone back on the desk and stood up. Maybe some coffee could jump start his brain into working again. He walked to the office kitchen and took out a mug from the cabinet. He heard footsteps enter the kitchen behind him and he could tell by the exasperated splutter that it was Charlie.
“Well, if it isn’t Mister I-forget-my-friends-as-soon-as-hazel-eyes-moves-in.”
Max smiled and shook his head. “That’s a pretty long name.” He turned to face his very irate friend. “You can’t think of anything shorter?”
Charlie sneered his irritation. “Oh, you think this is funny? It isn’t funny, man. I told you letting her move in was a bad idea. That’s two weekends you bummed out on me. Not one, two. And for what? To pick out fucking curtains?”
“I’ve been told they’re really nice curtains.” He read the unimpressed look on Charlie’s face and decided to be more serious. “Would a sorry help?”
“I need more than a sorry. I had Tekken 6. We haven’t played that game in ages and now Dave—”
“You had Tekken 6?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you! I had my whole Saturday planned and you went and ruined it. I spent the entire weekend playing with myself.”
Max raised his eyebrows. “That just didn’t sound right, Charlie.”
“You know what I meant.”
“When does Dave want it back?”
“Tomorrow.”
Max sighed heavily. “Okay, ask him to extend it and I’ll loan him Gunstar Heroes.”
“That’s not gonna cut it, Max. I think you forgot how hot Lili looks in that one. I mean, like smoking hot. And Christie Monteiro…I have no fucking words.”
“I’m not really in to CGI characters, but I’ll take your word for it.” Max took a moment to think about their options. He had to make it up to Charlie.
His friend was sort of intense, the type of person who ran on a very short fuse. One little comment and a full-on rampage would ensue. He was much shorter than Max, stockier too, and he would have black hair if his continuous stressing had not caused him to turn gray prematurely. He had that whole Richard Gere thing going on and it was for that very reason that no one suspected that they were actually the same age.
They had made fast friends two years ago when Max first started working for IT Solutions. He was generally a fun guy until Danny was mentioned. He seemed to despise her. Not her as a person but the threat she presented to their friendship. Charlie knew deep down that Danny always came first so it made everything a constant competition. It was a fight for Max’s attention and Danny certainly gave Charlie a run for his money. But in instances like this one, Danny was forced to take the backseat. This was Tekken 6 they were talking about.
“You know what you have to do,” Max said.
Charlie’s eyes widened. “I know you’re not suggesting…”
Max nodded.
“Oh, c’mon, Max. You can’t be serious!” He crossed his arms like a stubborn child. “Rising Dead? You want me to lend him Rising Dead? I wouldn’t even lend my own brother that game.”
“Charlie, it will just be one weekend.”
Charlie shook his head. “And we both know how Dave just appropriates things. You remember what happened with my Xenoblade Chronicles?”
Max turned back to his cup, poured in hot coffee from the percolator and added one teaspoon of sugar. “I don’t think Dave is brave enough to try that with Rising Dead.” He stirred his coffee slowly, allowing sufficient time for Charlie to give the suggestion some thought.
“Fine,” he said eventually. “But you owe me big time ’cause if you weren’t so wrapped up in hazel eyes, we wouldn’t be having this problem.”
Max took his cup of freshly made coffee and started heading back to his office with Charlie walking beside him.
“You playing tonight?” Charlie asked idly.
“Who’s gonna be there?”
“Me, Dave, Jeff. Willy can’t make it. His wife’s bitching again. Apparently married men shouldn’t be having boys’ poker nights.”
“Oh, Mister Shepard,” the receptionist called as they walked past, “Danny just called. She said the meeting was a success.”
Max smiled. “Thanks, Dorothy.”
Charlie rested his forearm casually on the reception desk. “So, Dorothy, what do you say to me, you, and some Barry White tomorrow night? My mom’s outta town this week. I’ve got the whole place to myself.” He licked his lips and blew a kiss.
Dorothy rolled her eyes and pulled her face in disgust. “What do you say to a knee to the groin and a sexual harassment charge?”
“So you’ll think about it?” Charlie asked, his confidence not diminishing in the slightest.
Max grabbed his arm and pulled him away before Dorothy got out her pepper spray. “About poker tonight,” Max began slowly. “I don’t think I’m gonna make it. I’ve gotta—”
“Save it,” Charlie clipped, shaking his head. “I already know what you have planned for tonight and I can bet that you’re gonna do the asshole thing again. You gotta give it up, man. You make this chick your whole world and she’s never gonna see you as anything more than a friend.” Charlie grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “It’s never gonna happen. She’s still dating that deadbeat model. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can start tapping some ass.”
Max laughed. Charlie was a self-endowed player. He didn’t tap much ass himself, but the CGI women usually kept him entertained during his dry spells.
“If at some point you feel like you wanna take your head out of your ass,” Charlie said irritably, “we’ll be at Dave’s house.”
* * *
Danny raced out of the shower to her bedroom in a panic-stricken frenzy and assessed the almost impossible task she had to tackle. Okay, she told herself. This wasn’t completely undoable. Many women had done it before her. Being late for a date was sort of given. Beauty took time. No one just naturally looked like they were ready to hit the red carpet at the Oscars. Richard would understand. She was only about ten… maybe twenty minutes late. No big deal.
Right. Apply body lotion. No! No! No! Too much! Too much! Why did that always happen at the worst possible time?
Try forcing handful of body lotion back into bottle even though any idiot can see that the hole at the top is too small to swallow that much liquid but trying never hurt anyone.
Alright. Back on track. Apply body lotion. Rub excess on bed sheets. Pull on dress as fast as possible. Oh, damn! Slippery fingers and zippers weren’t the best combination. Leave that for now. Go on to easier things. Earrings.