“That’s not true. You think you know everything about me, but if I don’t really know the type of person I am, then neither do you. Things may happen that could make me completely different from the person you remember.”
Max nodded, looking rather enlightened by what she said. “I didn’t think about it like that. I guess…we have a chance to start over and we can make this into anything we want it to be.” He leaned closer and she felt her stomach tighten. “I know that you…don’t know me and you’re probably still trying to suss me out but…can I say something without you freaking out?”
She nodded even though she did not quite know what to expect.
“I really missed you.” He was quiet for a while, as if he was considering what to say next. “Is touching allowed?”
Her eyes widened and tension stiffened her shoulders. “What?”
“Am I allowed to touch you?”
Although she was a bit more nervous this time, Danny nodded yet again and with that Max gathered her into his arms. His embrace was gentle yet protective. Danny closed her eyes and exhaled a breath of relief. He knew just how to hold her. He felt so good. He smelled so good. For those few moments she lost herself and all her problems seemed to disappear. It all seemed so natural, like she had done this a thousand times before.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he whispered against her skin.
She held him tighter. The whole world was an unfamiliar place. She had woken up with no recollection of anything or anyone. She was trying not to panic, trying to stay calm but it was all too overwhelming. She had met people today who had told her stories about her life. Although the stories invoked images, they were not memories. It felt abstract, like she was watching a movie about someone else. But the man holding her seemed to make it just a little better. He did not change her circumstances but he made it easier to deal with. He made her feel comfortable and more importantly, in a world where everyone was a stranger, he made her feel like she belonged.
* * *
“Home sweet home,” Max said as he opened the door to the apartment.
Danny stepped in slowly and looked around. It was like a memory of a dream, faint and did not quite seem real. Everything from the curtains to the sofa to the oddly placed dining table seemed familiar yet as she searched her mind, she had no recollection of anything. The doctor had kept her in hospital for a few more days, but her situation had not improved. Even several appointments with a psychologist had not helped. She had been discharged this morning and she was terrified. The hospital was safe, neutral, but now she had to go back to a life she did not know.
Home? This wasn’t home. Home was the little two-bedroom cottage that Jake had raised her in. And Jake, the only person in the world she remembered, was not there anymore. She had cried for hours after Max told her what had happened. Her heart felt heavy. It was too much to deal with. She was alone and surrounded by strangers, living with a stranger.
To top it all off, she looked awful. The little cuts on her face had healed but the scars on her head and body were horrid and she could see that they were going to be permanent. Per her request, Max had shaved her entire head so she did not feel like a complete fool with her lopsided hair but she still felt self-conscious and insecure all the time, like everyone was staring at how ugly she was.
She slowly walked in, taking her time as she looked around. She moved past the dining table and into the living room. “That’s a pretty vase,” she said idly.
“What?” Max walked to the TV cabinet and peered inside. “When did you—”
He stopped himself but Danny could complete the sentence. “I put it in there?”
It was more of a statement than a question. He nodded and she turned away.
“You okay?” he asked.
She turned to face him and tears welled up in her eyes. “I feel so lost.”
He pulled her into his arms and allowed her to cry. That was a quality she really liked about him. He always knew when words were not enough and a simple hug was sufficient. Her brain did not remember, but her body did. Every time he held her, the comfort she felt was so deeply rooted that it was impossible to believe that he was actually a stranger. A gentle kiss was placed on the side of her head. It was something he did without realizing. She didn’t mind, though. It made her feel accepted, less alone.
He kept his arm over her shoulder and led her down the corridor. “This is your room.”
“My room, or…our room?” she asked apprehensively.
“We…uh…we don’t…sleep together. You wanted to take things slow and we…we haven’t been dating that long.”
Take things slow, she thought. That sounded familiar. She noticed him nip his lower lip and for some reason the gesture made her feel uneasy but she decided not to question it. She was grateful that they were not going to be sharing a room. She wanted her own space and she definitely was not ready to fulfil any type of girlfriend duties with her feeling and looking the way she was.
“I’ll give you some time alone…to get settled in. I’ll get dinner started and when you’re ready, come join me.”
He left her at the doorway of her bedroom and she stood there for a long while before she went in. She walked to the bed, sat down and looked around. Everything in there was hers and it all seemed strange to her. In the corner of the room she saw a large white and red teddy bear and on the night table was a small card. She lifted it and read it.
“I searched everywhere trying to find something as beautiful as you, but when I realized that such a thing doesn’t exist, I settled on the roses. Happy Valentine’s Day. Love Always.”
She smiled, wondering about her relationship with Max before the accident. He was a nice guy, so considerate and he always made sure she was taken care of. The Valentine’s Day card made her wish she knew more about him, about their lives together.
She had to start all over again, not just with him but with life in general. In a split second everything had been taken away from her. Her friends. Her career. Her life.
She found herself wondering how she going to piece everything together. Although she was frustrated and depressed, she realized the only way she would be able to do it was to take it one step at a time. Sitting around, crying about a situation that was out of her control would be stupid and pointless. She had to find some way of getting her life back.
She walked to her cupboard and was pleased with its contents. It was not great clothes but it definitely suited her taste and it made her feel a little more at ease. Rummaging through the shelves, she took out a set of baby blue pajamas, then she had a shower and went to the kitchen to meet Max.
“Don’t you look like a breath of fresh air,” he said as she entered.
She smiled, feeling shy all of sudden. He had a way of looking at her that made her feel beautiful despite the scars and her bald head. “I saw the Valentine’s Day gift you got for me.”
He seemed intrigued by her statement. “How do you know it’s from me? It could have been from a secret admirer. The card wasn’t signed.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know you very well, but everything about it is just so…Max.”
His eyes locked on hers and it was almost like her words had struck something inside him. “It’s amazing what a fresh pair of eyes can see,” he said softly.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” He turned his attention back to the food. “You hungry?”
“What’s for dinner?”
“Your favorite. Chicken-a-la-king,” he replied. “It’s almost ready.”
She moved to sit on the barstool near the island counter. “This is hard. I have so many questions I don’t know where to start.”
“Well, I don’t know all the details of your life but you can ask me what you want to know and I’ll answer whatever I can.”
“Okay…how long have we been dating?”
His body tensed. “Not long. We started this…very recently.”
“And we’re already living together?”
“We’ve been friends for six years and friendship turned into…what we have now.”
She noticed that he spoke slowly, as if he were choosing his words very carefully. “Why did it take you so long?”
Something about the way he smiled made her think that he was holding something back.
“You were too immature for me,” he said simply. “I just had to wait for the right time.”
She laughed, not having expected that response. “Just because you’re four months and twelve days older than me, it does not make you more mature.”
His eyes widened. “Danny, how do…do you remember?”
“No.”
“Do you know when’s my birthday?”
“No. I don’t know what made me say that. It just—” Danny could not comprehend what had just happened. She had not been thinking. The words came from nowhere.
“It’s okay,” Max said, placing his hand over hers. “It’s probably force of habit. You used to say that to me all the time.”
“That was so weird,” she said, still feeling confused. “When is your birthday?”
“April sixth. I just turned twenty-six.”