Wanting to Remember,Trying to Forget(18)

Once he got what he wanted, he probably wouldn’t even wait for the sheets to cool before he moved on to the next woman. The time for sitting on sidelines was over. He needed to voice what he really thought before she did something stupid, something she would regret for the rest of her life. “Danny, please think about this before you make any rash decisions.”

“I have thought about it. I’ve spent months thinking about it. Richard and I have been together for a long time now and I think I’m ready to—”

“Danny, sex should be shared between two people who love each other.”

“I do love him.”

“No, you don’t!” Max gritted his teeth and tried to get his temper under control. “You think you do but you barely know him. You’ve been dating him for months but how much time have you actually spent with him? I know this is hard for you to hear but… Richard doesn’t love you.”

“That isn’t true, Max. Richard does—” Her voice was rising; becoming more desperate.

“No, he doesn’t and as soon as he gets what he wants…”

“Max!”

“Danielle…” He reached over the counter and took her hand. “Please don’t do this. I know that since Jake died, you want to feel a sense of belonging, that feeling of having a family. Richard can’t give you that.”

Tears were streaming down her cheeks now. “Why are you saying these things to me?”

“Because I care about you.” His thumb went up to her face to wipe away her tears. “I just want you to be happy and—”

“Good morning.”

Both Danny’s and Max’s eyes flew towards the entrance of the kitchen. Max watched how the expression on Danny’s face changed from one emotion to another as her brain registered Sofia, standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a white shirt. His white shirt. The white shirt Danny had bought him last Christmas.

The look on Danny’s face changed from hurt to anger. “Sex should be shared between two people who love each other, huh?”

She walked past Sofia and out the front door. Max raced after her. “Danny…Danny, wait!” He caught up to her outside at the top of the stairwell. The morning air chilled his bare skin, causing goose bumps. Maybe it wasn’t cold. Maybe it was just the panic enveloping him. He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. “Danny, just wait—”

She ripped her arm out of his grip and continued down the stairs. “No, Max. Leave me alone. You tell me that I need to think this through when I have been dating Richard for months yet you climb into bed with Sofia after just six weeks.”

He quickened his steps and got ahead of her. “Nothing happened,” he said almost desperately. “Just hear me out. We went out, we got drunk—”

“Spare me the sordid details,” she cut in, lifting her hand to silence him.

“There was nothing sordid. Sofia was too drunk to drive back home so we came here. I slept on the couch. Nothing happened!”

“You must think I’m the dumbest person in the world if you expect me to believe that crap.” She pushed past him and continued down the stairs. “So you keep thinking that I was born yesterday while I go and have wild, passionate sex with my boyfriend.”

“No!” Rushing down, he cut in front of her again. “Just wait! Don’t do this! You’re angry and upset. Please…please don’t do this.”

“What difference does it make to you, Max? What does it matter what I do?”

“Danny, after all these years…you must know…” Six years of yearning condensed into that single moment. “You have to know how I feel about you.”

She was silent for a long while, staring at him as a million thoughts raced through her mind, but then her eyes turned cold and hard. “Your feelings are irrelevant to me,” she said softly. “I’m in love with Richard.”

His heart sank to his stomach. She pushed past him again and this time he let her go, watching her until she disappeared down the stairwell. He felt hallow, empty. Her words were like venom, stinging to his very core. She had made it very clear. He meant nothing to her. He felt vulnerable and exposed and like a desperate, pathetic fool.

He looked up and saw Sofia at the top of the stairs. The look on her face told him that she had seen and heard everything. If there was some chance of their relationship working out last night, it was gone now. Max sighed heavily, realizing that he had just lost both the women in his life in one morning.

* * *

Danny marched along the sidewalk, heading towards the beach. It was only a few blocks away. She could hear the waves breaking and all she wanted to do was sit on her favorite rock and let the sound soothe her. When she was little girl, Jake used to lift her up on that rock so that she could see further out into the ocean and to this day it was the only place that she found solitude and solace at the same time. She needed that today. Her mind was still reeling.

Max was such a hypocrite. Did he honestly expect her to believe that he had a gorgeous, half-naked woman in his bed and he slept on the couch? He had told her that he discovered a whole new side to Sofia. She might be inexperienced but she was definitely not dumb. Of course he had sex with her and it troubled her so much. The thought of him kissing her and touching her was enough to make Danny sick to her stomach.

She had actively tried to get their friendship back on track. She had actively tried to not be selfish and allow their relationship to flourish but this was more than she could bear. She had thought that she was insecure about Sofia because she was taking away her best friend but what she was feeling was beyond insecurity, beyond jealousy. Her mind continued to replay their conversation. “You have to know how I feel about you.”

What did he mean? What did he feel? Her last words had been said in anger but now, as she remembered the longing in his eyes, she wanted to take it all back. Deep in the pit of her stomach, she felt something twist as she realized what he’d meant, what he felt. She remembered every look, every touch, every smile. It was there. It had always been there. How could she have been so blind to not have seen it for so long? Max was in love with her.

And with that revelation, her mind began to dissect everything she felt for him. She was supposedly in love with another man and yet the thought of Max sleeping with Sofia was grinding her nerves raw. What did that mean? Did she feel the same way he did? If she only thought of him as a friend, then it wouldn’t be hurting this much. If they were completely platonic, why was she wishing she could trade places with Sofia right now?

It was all too confusing. Richard. Max. Sofia. What a tangled web she was caught in. There were too many emotions stirring inside her, too many thoughts plaguing her mind. She needed to talk to Max. She needed to go home and—

Loud honking made her head snap up. Without realizing it, she had stepped off the sidewalk and onto the street, a black car zooming towards her. She froze, unable to move. She heard screeching tires and then a loud crash. The world spun around her. She landed with a heavy thump on the pavement, fragments of glass raining over her face. She smelled burnt rubber. She tasted blood in her mouth. She felt pain, lots of pain. She saw a crowd gather around her and then everything went black.

* * *

The silence was deafening. Empty. That’s how he felt. Empty. Danny had left and shortly after, Sofia had followed. He had been staring blankly at the walls for hours. Danny was probably with Richard right now, doing things that he forced himself not to think about. And here he was alone, as usual.

Everything had blown up in his face and he had no-one to blame but himself. He had always known that one day this would come. The truth had to come out eventually but somehow he had not expected her reaction to be so heartless.

“Your feelings are irrelevant to me.”

How could she say that? They had been friends for six years. Even if she didn’t feel the same way he did, how could she say that? Those words were cold and brutal. They cut deep and Max felt like there was no moving past it. She would probably come home tomorrow morning, after Richard had had his way with her and then what? How could he face again after what she said?

He admitted that he had feelings for her and she rejected it, rejected him for Richard. Somehow he knew that there was no going back after today. He couldn’t do this to himself anymore. He was done being the pathetic, lovelorn best friend who always came second. He had always been there, always making her his first priority, always putting her needs above his own.

He was the one who held her when Jake died and she had no-one to turn to. He was the one who stood up to Anthony Townsend after he made up those horrid rumors and everyone else just gossiped and giggled behind her back. He was the one who was there for her every time Richard stood her up, every time he missed a special occasion, every time she needed a shoulder to cry on. But no more. Today was the day he had to end his friendship with Danny because inevitably he was always the one who ended up getting his heart broken.

The ringing phone broke the silence. Max groaned his irritation. He just wanted to be alone. He left it to ring and it stopped after a while, but then a few minutes later, it rang again. Max sighed, stood up and walked to answer the phone.