She nodded her head and smiled, before touching her fingers to my lips. I kissed them before she could pull them away. “I know, but we’re going to have to be more discreet. I know you’re not going to like this idea, but how would you feel about meeting me here once a month?” I started to open my mouth to argue, but she put her hand over it, like I always did to her. “Before you say anything, hear me out.” She sat up and leaned her arms on my chest. “I want to be with you, Conner, I’m not going to lie about it anymore, but right now I don’t have a place to go. We can’t tell your sister about us with her and the babies going through this ordeal. She needs to come home and work things out with her husband. Until we can figure out a way to be together without having to hide, I’m just saying it would be to our benefit if we were extra careful. Besides…it would give you the time you need to finish this shit with Heather.”
I put one of my arms behind my head, so I could look down at her better. “This shit with Heather will be over in the next few days. You’re askin’ me to wait months to be with you. That ain’t fair.”
“Conner, if I can understand you needing to see things through with this Heather scheme, the least you can do is consider my idea. Don’t you want us to be together for real?”
I thought about how bad I wanted to wake up next to the woman every single day. Somehow, I knew she was right, but the fact that she’d have to go back to that house with that fucking bastard was not cool. I had to consider the bigger picture. A few months was what I needed to get my shit together and give her a place to go. “All I want is for us to be together.”
“Then we’ll make a plan.”
“I’m buying you a new phone. I don’t give a shit if you have to hide it, but you’re havin’ one. If I want to send you a damn message at midnight, I should be able to. The past few days have been hell for me.”
“They weren’t exactly great for me either. Do you know how horrible it was to know what you were all going through. I should have been there with you. I should have been there for your sister, but I knew I couldn’t dare ask that.”
The hotel was the shittiest place in the county, but having her in my arms was something beautiful. “When you live with me, you better not ever ask me for permission to do somethin’ you want to do. I want you to do it and be happy. I’ll never make you feel like a prisoner.”
“So you think I want to live with you?” She was teasing me and I appreciated her showing me that spunky side that always liked to bicker with me.
“I know you do, in fact, we’re going to be so happy living in a shack in the middle of the woods somewhere.”
“A shack?”
“Yeah, we’re goin’ to live off the land. I will go out every day to hunt for our meals, while you stay home and wash things.” I started laughing even before I finished the sentence.
She lightly smacked me on the chest. “You’re crazy.”
“I’m crazy about you, Blaze.”
“I’m thinking about going back to brown or maybe even doing skunk stripes.” She giggled and bit one of my nipples.
“Well, they don’t have hair dye in the wilderness.”
“You are not growing a beard.” She was so serious about it when she said it.
“Neither are you.” Her eyes got really big as she smacked me again.
“Eww, that is just gross.”
I pulled one of her hands to my lips and played with it against my mouth. “I’d still want you if you did have one.”
“Conner, be serious.” The big old grin on her face let me know even she got my sense of humor. “Besides, I would totally carve a shiv out of a rock and shave that shit.”
“Now that there is somethin’ I would love to see.” I loved when she smiled; when we could be together like this and just be ourselves. She never got to smile about anything and it needed to be changed.
“I have to tell you something.” She paused for a minute and got really serious. “I’m afraid to stay here the whole night with you. What if he does have someone watching us. I can’t take the chance of anything happening to you because of me. I would never forgive myself.”
I sat up on the bed and pulled her with me. My hands grabbed her on the shoulders. “Listen to me right now. I chose to be with you even when I knew you were married. At the time, hell, I didn’t even care if you were happy with him. I just wanted you for myself. If he comes after me, then it’s my problem, not yours. My priority is keeping you safe, you don’t have to worry about me. I guarantee I can take care of myself just fine. Rick may act all big and tuff, but he’s a fuckin’ pussy. No man should ever lay a hand on a woman, not ever. The fact that it’s the woman that I love, just makes me want to hurt him more.”