“How are you going to find out about these pictures. It’s not like you can ask her.”
I grabbed her and pulled her chin up. “Kiss me.”
She reached up and touched her soft lips to mine. “You’re scaring me.”
“Sit down for a minute.” She gave me a funny look but led me by hand to where she sat down.
Once she was seated, I crouched down in front of her and rubbed my hands over her thighs. I smiled and let out an air filled laugh. “Would you just tell me what is going on? Conner, please. You are being strange.”
“Do you remember when we first met?”
“How could I forget? You were the biggest douche I’d ever met.” She pulled my hat off of my head and stuck it on hers while she giggled. “You thought you were king shit.”
I kept smiling, thinking back on it. “I still am.”
“Whatever! Would you just tell me what’s wrong.”
“I wouldn’t change the way I acted that day, if I had to do it again. There was somethin’ about you, even back then. You were a little firecracker, not takin’ any shit from me. It made me want you more.”
She bit down on her lip and played with my hair. “You need a haircut.”
“Yeah, my personal stylist refuses to cut my hair naked, so we are at a catch twenty two in that department.” She leaned down and kissed my forehead. I grabbed her hands and played with them while I thought about what to say. “I have to do somethin’ and you’re not goin’ to like it very much, but I can’t go through with it until I know I’m not goin’ to lose you.” I held my hand up over her mouth. “Just wait a minute, darlin’. I know you say I don’t have you, but the way I see it, you’ve been mine for a while now. Like it or not, that’s just the way it is.”
“Conner, you know my situation. Just tell me what you’re thinking about doing. Nothing can ruin our friendship.”
“This ain’t about a friendship, Amy.” I stood up and walked around the room.
“Fine! You’re not just my friend, Conner. You’re right, you’ve always been more to me, but it doesn’t change our situation.”
“But sleeping with Heather would, right?”
I turned around to look at her shocked face. “Why would you ask me that? You said you weren’t going to do it. Did you lie to me?”
I grabbed her arms and got closer to her. “No! I didn’t lie to you, but everything has changed now. She’s sabotaged my sister’s happiness.”
She threw her arms in the air. “Why does it have to be sex? Why Conner? It just seems like an excuse to sleep with her.”
I approached her from behind and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her back into my chest. “Maybe it won’t come to that, but I was tryin’ to do the right thing and tell you the truth, because when this is all said and done, no matter how it turns out, I want to be with you.”
“I can’t deal with this. Do what you have to do, Conner. I can’t stop you and I don’t even have the right to.”
“You do though. Hell, I wish you would just fight me about it. Get mad, but fucking say how you feel.”
Her hands formed into fists and she pushed me away from her. “I hate my life! I hate that I have to live in that house with that disgusting excuse for a man. I hate that I can’t find a way out no matter how bad I want to. I hate that you touch her and let her do things to you. Most of all I hate how I feel about you, Conner. Do you hear me? I hate feeling this way because of you. Please just go do what you have to do.”
I took her into my arms and held her tightly against my body. “The only thing I have to do right now, is be with you. You can fight me all you want, but you and I are aren’t leavin’ this place until you calm down.”
Tears poured out of her eyes and I felt like I couldn’t get away from over emotional people. I knew I was going to hurt her, but in the long run, even if she never forgave me, I wanted her to know I was honest to her. I owed her that much. “I’ll be fine. I always am.”
“Yeah, I get that, but you also always find your way back to me. I just need you to promise me that I’m still goin’ to be your go-to guy.”
She finally stopped fighting and let me hug her. “Well, it’s not like anyone else wants the job.”
“Maybe because they know I will fuckin’ kill them.”
She patted me on the shoulder. “You have to go. Rick comes home tonight and if you’re going to be indisposed, I have to put on a happy face and have his dinner ready.”
“There’s just one more thing I came here to tell you, Amy.”