He started laughing at me. “You have room to talk. You’re jealous that I messed around with someone else, but you sleep next to your husband at night. How am I supposed to feel about that, Blaze? It goes both ways here. I don’t want to be in a relationship with Heather, especially after tonight. I’m done with being with easy women.”
I rolled my eyes and looked at him. “You probably say that to all the girls you bring here.”
He let go of me and fell on the bed beside me. I watched him run his hands through his hair. “Woman, you make me crazy. I swear I think it’s what makes me want you so damn bad. You are so indecisive. One minute you hate my guts and the next you’re gettin’ all jealous. Make up your mind.”
I shoved him off the bed and sent him rolling onto the floor. “I can’t make a choice right now and you know it.”
He kneeled and put his arms on the bed facing me. “See that’s the thing. You don’t want to be with me, and you don’t want me to be with anyone else. How is that fair at all?”
I grabbed my head and rubbed my temples. “Talk about something else.”
He jumped up on the bed again. “No! I want to know. Tell me why you don’t like me seeing other women.”
“Please stop it, Conner.”
He leaned into my neck and kissed it. “Tell me, Amy.”
I got up and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. My heart was beating so fast. I heard him knocking lightly on the door. “Why can’t you tell me.”
When I knew he wasn’t going to give up, I opened the door and saw him standing there. “Because I want you all for myself.” I put my hands on my hips. “Are you happy now? I mean, it doesn’t get us anywhere. I am still married and you are in the middle of seducing the town whore in order to clear your brother-in-law from something he may or may not have done. So now it’s your turn, Conner. What exactly was happening when I called?”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his kiss. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
He rubbed my hair. “I barely get to be with you like this. Please can we just be together tonight. I will tell you anything you want to know tomorrow. Please. I miss you.”
Here was the problem. I missed Conner every single second of every single day until the next time I got to see him. I missed his touch and I missed the way he always made me feel safe. I wanted nothing more than to just be with him like we were, but in the back of my mind, I had to know the truth. “I just admitted that I may have real feelings for you.”
“What do you want me to say? You know I care about you, Blaze. Is that what you want me to say? I think I’ve proven that to you time and time again.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
“I told you no.”
“Did you kiss her?”
“She kissed me a couple times.” I clenched my jaw. “Amy, please don’t do this.”
“Have you ever seen her naked?” He looked away and scrunched up his face. It hurt me immediately picturing him seeing her with no clothes on. “Has she seen you naked?”
“Some parts.” He looked down at the floor and avoided eye contact.
“What parts?”
He grabbed my arms and looked at me and he wasn’t happy. “Damnit, why are you doin’ this? It doesn’t matter what happened earlier tonight. It meant nothin’ to me and you should have known that when I came runnin’ right to you. I will always be there for you, Amy. Now, you can go on with your little tude, but at the end of the day, you know what I’m waitin’ for and it ain’t that little blonde.”
He kissed my hands and released them as he walked over to the second bed and flopped down on it. He took his hat and covered his face with it, before crossing his arms and appearing like he was going to sleep.
I just stood there like an idiot, watching him. I put my hands on my hips like it made me tougher. “She probably has rabies, you know.”
He never moved from his position. “Guess I better get a vaccine then.”
I huffed and puffed and finally laid on the opposite bed across from his. I tried to get myself comfortable, but couldn’t seem to fall asleep knowing he was that close to me. If he was messing around with Heather, I couldn’t be with him. It was nasty to me and even though I knew his intentions were for something good, it made me sick.
Finally, after I’d counted sheep, recounted every step I took and even opened and closed my eyes until I couldn’t hold them open anymore, I still couldn’t fall asleep. Exhaustion hit me and I began to sob. I felt the bed move and his arms around me before I could argue with him.