I slumped against the door, my shoulder propped against the wood. “You’re killing me here, Carter.”
His grin was a tight one. “Yeah, I know how it feels. That one kiss had me wanting to carry you into the bedroom and make love to you. But I can’t afford to do that.”
Just hearing he wanted to make love to me made my knees weak. I shoved away from the door and sank into a chair at the kitchen table. “This is insane.” I groaned at the irony of the situation. “You’re saying all the right things, yet they’re all wrong.”
He sighed. “I’m not trying to screw with you. My career is hanging in the balance here, sweetheart.”
His term of endearment only made my heart wrench more. “Stop being so intimate with me, Carter. I can’t take it. The way you look at me and touch me. It’s all too much, because it’s everything I’ve always wanted from you and nothing I can have.”
Tears prickled the backs of my eyes. I tried to stave them off, yet the fat drops crested the rims and slid slowly down my burning cheeks.
“Ah, Jesus. Cherish.” His voice was as full of torment as his expression had been all this time. He took three long strides toward the table and knelt in front of me. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
He brushed away the tears as I bucked up and, once more, hitched my chin a few notches. Always sucking it up to keep my dignity intact. “I’m fine.” I got to my feet, moving around him. I walked toward the door again, but a crazy thought occurred to me. Out of the blue, the wicked idea formed in my head and I whirled around, miraculously not toppling over in my high heels.
My breath suddenly came in ragged pulls, but I managed to say, “I have a suggestion to make.”
With a perplexed look on his face, Carter stood and crossed his arms over his chest. For a few moments, he appeared to debate whether it was wise to continue down this path. But he didn’t shut the proverbial door on me.
“I’m listening.”
I swallowed down a knot of nerves that had formed and did my squared-shoulder thing again, taking a business stance with my proposal, rather than an emotional one.
It took all the courage I possessed, but I said, “We’re both agonizing over what’s happened between us tonight. And I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t want to impede your career or your progress with your shoulder. I want everything to work out for you, Carter. I swear. But I also know I will regret—for the rest of my life—not taking a shot at this.”
His brow lifted. “What are you suggesting?”
“One night.”
The lifted brow dipped. “As in a one-night stand?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had one. Just about everyone has, and you’re way too hot and in demand to not have women come on to you at a bar or after a game or whatever.”
He had the good grace not to torment me with his past lovers. Instead, he said, “Somehow, I doubt you’re the type, Cherish. And again, it’d hardly be fair to you.”
“I’m a big girl,” I told him. “I can handle it. Just one night, then we go our separate ways.”
It seemed trite, yet at the same time…it was the only solution I had. I absolutely did not want to leave his hotel room without experiencing one evening of unbridled passion with him. I had to make it happen.
Yet Carter still hedged.
“Seriously?” I challenged, as he remained silent. “You have to think about this? I mean, what man would pass up no-strings-attached sex with a woman he’s admitted he wants to sleep with?”
Carter’s laugh was a hollow one. “We’re not two strangers who ended up in a hotel room. And the truth is, I don’t know if I can have no-strings-attached sex with you, Cherish. Deep down… I want strings with you.”
I shook my head as the knife twisted in my heart. “You keep making this more and more difficult.”
“It is difficult.” His frustration was evident and it gnawed at me. “No matter what I say or don’t say. No matter what I do or don’t do. This is a shitty position for us to be in.”
Returning to the kitchen table, I set my bag and iPad on the polished wood surface and then stepped close to Carter. Staring up at him, I said, “Let’s leave it to Fate, shall we? Kiss me again, and if you don’t feel like dragging me off to the bedroom, fine. I’ll leave.”
He laughed again. “We may as well head straight into the bedroom then.”
“Okay.” I brushed passed him and crossed to the hallway.
“Cherish.” He groaned, the frustration clearly mounting.