Wanted A Real Family(66)

“And you are? We began an affair and you’re going to go flying off to Africa.”

An affair. That was what he’d started, trying to tell himself they were living in the now instead of the future. Trying not to think ahead. Trying to make the most of passion he expected to end without warning.

Maybe his father had been right about him. Did he fly away from what might hurt him? Fly away from what might give him roots? But what exactly had Sara been doing with Liam?

As if she could still see his doubts, as if she could still hear the questions in his mind, as if she knew Dana was still a ghost haunting him, she explained, “Liam was rock climbing yesterday. He fell and wrenched his shoulder. He didn’t want to go to the hospital and he asked me to check to see what I thought was going on with it. That’s all, Jase. That’s all.”

The way she said the words alerted him to what was coming next. She was fired up and he braced himself for her words.

“Amy’s in the next room coloring. Do you think I’d do anything like you were thinking with her here? Do you think I’d do anything like you were thinking when I just spent the weekend making love to you?”

What could he say? For just those few moments he had thought it.

“If you don’t trust me, Jase, we don’t have anything. I went through a marriage where my husband didn’t trust me. He didn’t trust me to tell me what was happening—that our finances were going down the tubes...that his business was failing...that our child was a burden he didn’t always want.”

But Sara’s tone fired Jase’s pride and anger, too. “Trust goes two ways. Do you trust me? Do you trust that I’ll stand beside you if you’re pregnant?”

“Maybe I don’t want someone who’s just going to stand beside me. Maybe I want more than that.”

Did he even know how to give more? He never had, so he wasn’t sure.

Suddenly Amy came running in from her bedroom. “Mommy. Mommy. Look.”

Sara tore her gaze from his and took Amy’s picture in her hand. “It’s beautiful, honey.”

Although Sara was trying to react normally, Jase could hear the tremble in her voice.

Amy looked up at Jase. “Are you gonna stay for supper?”

He looked at Sara and her daughter, and now he saw what he hadn’t seen before—the preparations for a meal, the chocolate chips on the counter. She’d been about to make cookies for later. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if he could repair the damage he’d done, if they could return to the passion and bliss of the weekend.

It seemed they both had a lot to think about. “Not tonight, honey. Maybe another time.”

Sara didn’t second that. She didn’t look as if she wanted him here ever again. They’d needed space once before, and it had brought some clarity. Wasn’t space what always helped him think better? Didn’t space always bring him peace?

When Sara laid her hand on her daughter’s head, he could see her remembering her broken marriage. He could feel her walls going up again. He could feel her closing him out of her life.

She said, “If I don’t see you again before your trip Friday, have a good flight.”

In other words, she needed space, too.

When he left the cottage, he didn’t know why this time seeking space felt so wrong.





Chapter Thirteen



Mr. Kiplinger wore a serious expression when he sat down with Sara in her cottage on Friday morning. She’d both dreaded and anticipated this appointment. Thinking about Jase all week had kept her from dwelling on it too much, though. She hadn’t seen him and he hadn’t searched her out. She didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling. She realized now how the situation with Liam had looked. Maybe none of it would have happened if she’d told Jase how she felt about him.

Still, could she commit herself to a relationship that might be more long-distance than real life? Could Jase?

When Mr. Kiplinger opened his briefcase, Sara didn’t know what to expect. Her original policy? A report from the investigator? A finding that she was in the wrong and they wouldn’t be paying out?

Instead of a sheaf of papers or a manila envelope, Mr. Kiplinger handed her a check. “I’m sorry about the delay,” he said. “The investigation showed a faulty extension cord was the cause of the fire.”

“An extension cord?” she asked.

“Yes, in the laundry room.”

She glanced at the check in her hand and her heart fluttered when she saw the amount. She and Amy could now get a place of their own.

Although Sara had taken a personal day today, she’d taken Amy to day care in case the meeting hadn’t gone well. But it had, and now she knew there was something she must do. She had to tell Ethan Cramer she’d be leaving. He’d surely be glad to hear that.