Wanted A Real Family(58)

As they walked through the hotel lobby, she noted the guests coming and going, wheeling suitcases, carrying duffel bags and leather briefcases. Men in expensive suits carried laptops or sat working on them in the leather club chairs. Jase was part of this world. She imagined his suit was custom-tailored, too. Although Jase had been in hotel lobbies like this all over the world, she knew he’d also lived under the most dangerous conditions. He’d been shot at and almost died.

On the other hand, she’d never left California. Before she’d met Conrad, she hadn’t had the opportunity or the funds. Afterward, she was focused on her marriage and then a baby. Now Amy was her life.

She had to figure out how Jase fit in that life. If he fit in. If who she was when she was with him was better than who she was when she was alone.

In the elevator, they didn’t speak. She felt Jase glance at her now and then, but she wasn’t sure what her response would be if their gazes met. She wasn’t sure about anything. Her stomach felt turned upside down. And she felt turned inside out.

In the suite, they went to their separate rooms to get ready, and she wondered what they were going to talk about over dinner...just how honest they could be.

In her room, she stared at the two dresses she’d brought along—the Carzanne and the black sheath. She hadn’t asked Jase how dressy this restaurant was. Maybe she should ask him which one would be more appropriate. She didn’t want to stand out like the proverbial sore thumb.

Sara was intent on getting an answer to her question as she saw Jase’s partially opened bedroom door and rapped on it. A second later, he was standing there in front of her, shirtless and beltless and his dress slacks were undone at the waist. Touching him in the hot springs pool vividly clicked through her mind. Every sensation she’d felt that day was alive in her once more. Desire burned in her belly and her feelings for him threatened to break loose.

“You’ve seen me dressed in less than this,” he said with a twist of a smile.

Yes, she had. But this seemed different somehow. They were alone...in a hotel suite. And she’d come on this trip because—

Because she’d fallen in love with him.

“Sara?” he asked as she stared at his chest and the whirling black hair and the dip of his slacks under his navel.

“I—” She moistened very dry lips. “I wondered how dressed up to get for tonight. If I should wear the Carzanne or something simpler.” Her gaze lifted to his and locked on his sensual gray eyes.

“Anything goes. It’s up to you what you want to wear.”

Yes, it seemed everything was up to her.

“Sara?” He was looking as if he wanted to take her into his arms. She felt foolish, now, naive and gauche, as if she’d never been anywhere and he’d been everywhere. She was scared she’d make a mess of her feelings for Jase...of her happiness and Amy’s.

“I’ll be ready in about twenty minutes,” she said, and started to turn away. But he clasped her shoulder before she could, and the heat of his hand through her silky blouse was scorching.

His voice was deep and husky, indicating he was in some turmoil as he said, “I know you’re upset about my decision to take the assignment in Africa.”

“I’m not upset,” she said with a shake of her head. “Just unsure...about where we’re going.”

He brought her a little closer. “Not everything has to be about the future. Maybe we just need to take one step at a time. You’re here with me. I want to be with you. Really be with you. Isn’t that enough?”

She closed her eyes for a moment. He was right, wasn’t he? Couldn’t her life be about more than planning ahead? More than being a mom? More than about the constant fear she was making the wrong decisions? It could simply be about her love for Jase.

Gazing up at him, so close that the tips of her breasts touched his chest, she knew this was a now or never moment. She and Jase could eke out such little time alone. She wasn’t going to waste tonight on doubts and worries and maybes. She wanted to focus on feelings and desires. Hers for him and his for her.

“For once in my life, I want to grab the moment.” She felt breathless with the thought of it.

Jase’s slow smile turned up his lips, and then he swept her up into his arms. Kissing her all the way, he held her close and carried her to the king-sized bed.

When he broke the kiss, he stared down at her with so much desire she thought she’d melt.

“I want this,” she told Jase so he’d have no doubts.

“When you asked me what you should wear tonight, I wanted to say, ‘Nothing.’”