“By ‘old life,’ you mean before your husband died?”
“Yes. It was his store’s accountant.”
After a brief pause, Jase guessed, “And he told you he tried to warn your husband about his financial trouble.”
Jase had been around long enough to realize how life worked. “Yes. He told me Conrad tried to do his best with the store, but he just couldn’t make the business grow.”
“You said your husband was older than you.”
“About fifteen years older.”
“Why were you attracted to someone older?”
“Jase, I didn’t come here tonight to talk about Conrad.”
“No, but you said you wanted to get to know me and I want to get to know you. Were you madly attracted to him?”
Her breath caught as she thought about the feelings she’d once had for Conrad, and how they compared to her growing feelings for Jase. “No, it wasn’t like that. I mean, yes, I was attracted to him, but in a quiet way. I’d lost my parents and I had no family. Conrad had no family, either. We met near the holidays and we started talking about feeling lonely. Suddenly we were spending Christmas together.”
“So he represented safety and stability you didn’t have.”
Hadn’t she come to that conclusion herself? “I guess you could say that. Do you mind if I ask you about your fiancée?”
“Tit for tat?”
“No, just curious. Do you still think about her? Do you wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t been injured?”
“I’d say that was true up until about a year ago.”
“What happened then?”
“One of our wines won an award. I realized I’d been instrumental in helping make that happen. Not only as far as the mix of grapes, but a new, more organic process, and marketing it to the right restaurants. That night I started looking ahead rather than back.”
“That’s what I want to do.”
As Jase studied her, she felt he was trying to read her deeper than anybody had ever read her before. He must have seen what he was looking for because he moved closer, dropped his arm around her shoulders and bent his head to kiss her.
The first press of his lips on hers was light and tentative. He was waiting for her signal of acceptance.
Warm water lapped at her midriff as she leaned into him, needing to feel his skin against hers. That was all the encouragement he obviously needed, because as she parted her lips, he thrust inside, kissing her in a way he hadn’t before. Somehow it was more sensual, more seductive, more everything. Heat and water and a private world curled around them, insulating and protecting them against outside forces. There were no responsibilities, no consequences, no regrets. Just her and Jase in an untouched world.
When he broke the kiss, he didn’t move away. She’d clipped her hair on top of her head and he nuzzled her neck, tongued her earlobe, making her altogether restless and wanting. As his hands slid to the back of her top, she knew exactly what he was doing. She knew exactly what she was doing.
He unhooked it to let it flow to the side of the pool. Then he lifted her chin to his, gazed into her eyes and touched her breast. It was so erotic looking at him that way while he trailed his fingers around and around, pressed his palm into her and then fingered her nipple. She moaned and he laughed, and any vestige of restraint dropped away.
As he kissed her again, still giving attention to her breast, she wondered how she could feel this much passion and this much need. Where had these feelings been all her life? Why hadn’t sensual need ever been a priority before? When she was with Jase, all she thought about was being close to him, touching him, kissing him.
He slid his hand under her and scooped her up onto his lap. He was obviously aroused and she felt lost in the moment rather than in what came next. One hand held her to him while the other edged the fabric of her bikini bottom and tugged it down.
“Jase.”
“You’re safe,” he murmured. “Relax and trust me.”
This moment was everything. His fingers trailed down her backside, making a path up her thigh, putting her in an erotic trance. He still kissed her and touched her and brought pleasure everywhere. She found herself paralyzed to do anything but enjoy his next caress, his next kiss, his next touch. His thumb became an instrument of pleasure as he circled, teased, titillated.
She ran her hands over his chest and curled her fingers into his shoulders. He was escalating the tension in her body, making all of her muscles wind tight, expecting some kind of release. The headiness of what they were doing almost made her dizzy. Her breath came faster, and finally he touched her where she wanted to be touched most. He wasn’t filling her, but he was—