Wanted A Real Family(25)
“And if I say no?”
After a long, studying look that made her feel totally self-conscious, he said, “If you won’t do it, I’ll find someone who will. Kaitlyn can give me a few more names of women to talk to, but I really think your story is the epitome of what The Mommy Club is about.”
“Because it’s sensational,” she said with a sigh.
“Not just sensational. It showed an immediate need that The Mommy Club met. That’s what I’d like to focus on. But I won’t pressure you.”
Just gazing at Jase created a wellspring of pressure inside of her, desire begging to be released. So she concentrated on something else. “Speaking of pressure, did you feel pressured when Amy asked you to read her a story? She doesn’t like the word no, but she understands it. When she looks up at me with those big brown eyes, I know she’s going to be a heartbreaker.”
“Reading a story was no big deal.”
“It was to her.”
He cocked his head and studied her again. “Would you have preferred if I had said no?”
There was a hint of defensiveness in his voice, but curiosity, too.
“Amy has never had a male role model except for Conrad.”
“Was he a good dad?”
“I don’t think she remembers him. He didn’t interact with her very much. Maybe because he was older.” After a pause, she was honest with both of them. “No, that wasn’t the reason. I just don’t think he was a man who enjoyed being around kids. He didn’t like to get down on the floor, on her level. It was hard for him to play silly games. But she was used to him being around, and after he died, there was a hole in her life.” She shrugged. “I haven’t dated, Jase. I haven’t brought any men home.”
He understood exactly what she was trying to say. “You’re afraid she’ll get attached to me.”
“She doesn’t ask just anybody to read her a story.”
His voice turned tender when he said, “You’re a good mom, Sara.”
“I just try to protect her. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”
He reached out to her and ran his index finger slowly across her lip. “And you don’t want to get hurt, either.”
The tip of his finger was rough and sensual. Her lip felt on fire and that fire was rushing to other parts of her body. How could one little touch make her feel so restless and excited and hungry? Still, she pulled her thoughts together and turned the question around on him.
“Do you?”
He looked as if getting hurt again wouldn’t happen if he didn’t want it to. “I don’t get hurt easily anymore.”
“Is that because you don’t jump in...because you keep walls up?”
“You don’t pull punches.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You can have a little fun without bringing Amy into this.”
“So you’re interested in fun?”
“I don’t have the answers to your questions, Sara. I just know there’s an attraction between us I haven’t felt in a very long time.”
A very long time. Since his fiancée? That was a question she didn’t ask because she knew the answer. Ever since he’d come home, Jase had walled himself off from loving and caring, either in a man-woman relationship or with his father. She didn’t have to be a therapist to see that. So what were the chances he could become vulnerable with her? What were the chances she could become vulnerable with him?
“I don’t compartmentalize very well,” she admitted.
“Maybe not. But some day your needs as a woman could break out over your need to protect Amy.”
“That won’t happen.”
He gave her a look that told her she was in denial, too. Then he backed off and changed the topic. “Think about the article,” he said.
Sara switched gears to follow him. “Did you ask Marissa?”
“I did and she said no.”
“Probably for the same reasons I did.”
“Kaitlyn’s thinking about it. I’d really like to get her interview since she’s one of the main organizers of The Mommy Club. I’d like to get yours because the fire’s already news.”
“Oh, Jase, I—”
“No more pressure,” he said, holding his hands up. “I promise. I’ll respect your decision either way. But just think about how getting your story out will help other parents. Isn’t that the best way to show your gratitude?”
He was good...and even somewhat convincing in more matters than just the article. But she wasn’t going to do anything impulsive or reckless. She just wasn’t.
* * *