His lip curled with disdain. “Like when you didn’t turn up to that function in New York you’d agreed to attend before you left me?” The memory of why she couldn’t do as she’d agreed made her turn away. There, right there, was the limit to her truth.
“It wasn’t like that.”
He scoffed. “No, I’m sure it wasn’t.”
She turned back to him. “Look…” But she could see there would be no point in arguing, no point in saying anything when the truth could destroy the world he’d carefully created. She sighed. She should go. There was no point in staying. She walked over to the sofa and picked up her coat. “I shouldn’t have returned.”
She didn’t hear him come up behind her but his touch halted her mid-stride. “You came because you needed to. Now tell me why.” He slid his hand down her arm and grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her to face him. “Why?” he asked again, his tone softer, more cajoling now.
She swallowed. “I’m telling the truth, Daidan. I want a baby.”
“Why do you want a baby so badly all of a sudden?”
“It’s not sudden. It’s… I can’t explain.”
“Because you don’t understand? It is natural, habibti. You are a woman.”
She nearly choked at his arrogant sexism and was about to contradict him before she stopped herself. There was no point in telling him he was wrong because he’d only want to know the truth and there was no way she was telling him that. She nodded slowly. “I expect that’s it.”
He stroked her face once, as if needing to check that she was really there, and she closed her eyes against his devastating touch. Please God, let him be satisfied with that.
“Open your eyes, habibti.”
She pressed them closed more tightly. He knew. But there was no avoiding it now. She opened them to see his eyes as intense as ever, probing into the very heart of her.
“There’s something more. Tell me.”
“Isn’t it enough that I want our baby?” She tried to pull away but his hold on her hand tightened.
“No. I want to know why. Why now? What’s happened to make you change your mind?”
She shrugged stiffly. “It was never that I was against having a baby, just that I didn’t want it to be a requirement of our marriage.”
“I understand that. But you’re still not telling me something. Tell me the truth. Why do you want our baby? Why now?”
She licked her suddenly dry lips, unable to draw her gaze away from his. “I…” She couldn’t say the words. She hadn’t rehearsed them, she’d forgotten how perceptive he was, and how determined.
“Go on,” he gentled. He tilted his head quizzically to one side. “What could happen to make you realize you want a child? Did a friend have a baby?”
She shook her head.
“It couldn’t be the ticking clock… you are still too young. So not the presence of a baby, not the passing of time. What else could make you want something so much, that you’d risk the humiliation of me declining? This need for a child must be strong.”
She nodded.
“Tell me.” He stroked her hand gently and she remembered how he used to do that when they were courting. When the slightest touch would stir desires she’d never even imagined.
For the first time she suddenly thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d understand. That she could tell him and he’d think no worse of her, and that everything would be okay. And suddenly she wanted that more than anything. She opened her mouth to speak but he narrowed his eyes.
“You’re afraid. You’re afraid of my response.” The gentle touch on her hand turned into a tight grip. “What the hell happened to you, Taina?”
And in that instant she knew she couldn’t tell him. It would only make everything so much worse than it already was.
She pulled her hand away from his and walked away. “You’re imagining things, Daidan. I simply want a child. As you say, it’s natural in a woman. You’re my husband, and this is my home. A year away and I realize I want to be in my home.” She shrugged. “All quite natural.”
“You expect me to welcome you back with open arms because on a whim you have decided you want a baby. What happens when you grow bored with the baby?”
“That won’t happen.”
She must have conveyed her seriousness to him because he nodded slowly.
“So, what’s your answer?”
“My answer? That depends.”
“Stop playing games, Daidan.”
“You accuse me of playing games?”
She grunted with frustration and put on her coat. “I’m going. I’ve obviously wasted my time.” She picked up her bag and was half-way to the door before he spoke.