By the time she returned it was nearing six and as she walked across the lawn at the rear of the property she heard a strange wailing sound, followed by silence. It was only when she reached the house and the sound continued, this time unabated, that she realized what it was—the sound of a baby crying. It struck to the heart of her and she dropped the flowers she’d picked and went running inside. She was met by one of the staff trying to soothe a baby who was crying lustily. Taina recognized the baby—she was the daughter of her PA, Livvy.
“Where’s Livvy?” asked Taina as she walked up to the baby, whose cries were growing more insistent with each passing minute.
“In with Daidan. Her babysitter let her down and she had to drop some papers off.”
“Give her to me.” Instinctively Taina wanted to comfort the child and she held out her hands to the baby. The baby was handed to her but didn’t stop crying. She rocked her and walked her up and down the hallway. Then she gave the baby the dummy that someone offered and the baby snuggled against her, instantly soothed.
Taina was lost in a flood of maternal feeling for the infant. She couldn’t stop looking at her as she held her close, comforting her like she’d never been able to comfort her own child.
Suddenly she was aware that a hush had fallen on the room. She turned to see Daidan standing at the open study door, staring at her, an unguarded look of sadness in his eyes. Immediately Livvy came toward her. “I’m so sorry. I thought she’d be okay. She’s just been fed, you see.”
“No problem.” Taina looked down at the baby in her arms. “No problem at all.”
Then Daidan came up to her and put his arm gently around her shoulders. “Livvy wants to go now.”
Taina looked up suddenly. She hadn’t noticed Livvy had her arms outstretched waiting for Taina to return her baby to her. “Sure. Sorry, I…”
Livvy took the baby from her with crooning sounds which cut Taina to the quick. She turned away abruptly.
“Your baby’s perfect, Livvy,” said Daidan to fill the awkward silence. “I just hope our baby will be as beautiful.”
Then all eyes looked up to Daidan who was only looking at Taina.
“You’re expecting a baby?” asked Livvy.
“Not yet,” he said without taking his eyes from Taina. “But we will be. Very soon.”
Taina nodded and bit her lip to stop it from trembling. Daidan might never forgive her for having a child with another man, but the way he was looking at her now, with that complex mixture of sadness, regret, and sympathy, made her realize he still had feelings for her and he’d give her what she yearned for so desperately.
She tucked her hair behind one ear and smiled as best she could at the young woman. “She wasn’t any trouble. I’m glad you brought her. Daidan’s right. She is beautiful. Bring her back any time.” She turned to Daidan. “I have to go… I have some… work to do.”
“Sure.”
She managed to escape the room before the tears came. She went straight to her room and sat on the bed and put her head in her hands and sobbed. After her sobs subsided she was aware that a silence had fallen over the house. Then she heard approaching footsteps. Footsteps that stopped, right outside her room.
She closed her eyes, hoping Daidan would turn away—for it had to be him—hoping he wouldn’t see her like this—broken and weak.
He knocked once. The door wasn’t locked. He could have entered if he wished. She swung her legs off her bed and swiped the tears roughly from under her eyes and walked over to the door and opened it.
He searched her face and she tilted her chin, defying him to see her weakness.
“May I come in?” he asked.
She opened the door wide. “Of course.”
He walked in and looked around. “It’s a long time since I’ve been in your old room.”
She closed the door and turned to him. “Really? And yet you’ve lived on the island since I’ve been away.”
He glanced at her. “At weekends. When I wanted to get away. Maybe”—he nodded as if urging himself to tell the truth—“maybe when I wanted to feel close to you.”
“My jeans… in my closet. You knew where they were.”
“I missed you.”
“And yet you let me go. And didn’t follow me.”
“You asked me to respect your wishes and I did.” He paused. “And I’ve always regretted it. I should have followed you. I should have made you see that the arrangements I came to with your father didn’t mean I didn’t love you. I did. And I do.”
Sadness swelled inside her, creating a lump in her throat. She pursed her lips and shook her head. “I wish you’d come after me when I left. I wish you’d told me. I believed the opposite was true.”