For the first time, Katie saw that her mother was visibly flustered. “This sounds serious. Perhaps we should wait until after dinner to discuss things.”
“This is serious. And, Mamm, it can’t wait. What I have to say can not wait a moment longer. I’ve waited long enough.”
After studying her carefully for a long moment, she nodded. “I see. Well, then, Katie, now is just fine. I’ll go and fetch your father.”
The hearth room had never felt so cold, even though a fire was blazing in the hearth. When the three of them were seated, Katie gripped a portion of her dress and stood up.
“Like I said to you earlier, Mamm, Holly is on her way here.”
Her father looked confused. “Who is that?” her father asked.
“She is an English girl I met during my…my rumspringa.” She told her parents about how they first met, Katie in her borrowed clothes. That first visit to the Brown Dog.
“Come now, Katie. There must be more to this story,” her mother said. “Why is she coming here now? Why have you never mentioned her before? Is there more you aren’t telling us?”
“Yes. During that time, when Holly and I were such good friends, I…I saw much of her brother.”
“Saw much?” After her parents exchanged glances, her mother spoke. “You’d best tell us the full story, dear.”
“When I met Holly and Brandon at the Brown Dog, I…I wasn’t sure how I felt in my life. Rebekeh was always so perfect. So much more perfect than I could ever be.”
Her father sighed. “None of us are perfect, Daughter. And, I never wanted you to be just like Rebekeh.”
“I understand that now. But back then, well, I wasn’t so sure about everything. I was mixed up. Emotional. I suppose I was feeling somewhat sorry for myself.” She glanced at her mother then. “I know that is shameful.”
“But honest. Nothing wrong with that.”
“Anyway, out of all the kids I met, two people made me feel like I was a part of their group, Holly and Brandon. I liked being with them. They were fun. They took me to the mall. They introduced me to silly TV shows. I liked Holly a lot…” Her voice drifted off. How could she fully put into words her feelings for Brandon?
“What happened, Katie?” Daed asked.
“After meeting them at the coffee shop, I went to the Norris house for a time or two. Over time, I grew to like Brandon. Though, not as much as he liked me, I am ashamed to say. He began to talk about future plans. He talked like we would do many things together. That I would always be there for him. And, well, I let him think that.” Feeling her cheeks heat, Katie tried to convey why she had let things go on for far too long. “See, it felt good to be wanted. I liked feeling pretty and special.”
Her mother smoothed her hands over her skirt. “That is only natural, I suppose.”
“It would have been natural, I think, if I had been honest about who I was. But I wasn’t.”
Katie continued, determined to tell everything about that confusing time. Only by completely divulging her past sins was she going to be able to find forgiveness. “About this time, too, Sarah Lundy passed away. Soon after her funeral, I saw Jonathan and his girls.” Remembering that moment, she shrugged helplessly. “Something happened.”
To Katie’s surprise, her father looked like he completely understood. “You looked at him in a new way?” he murmured.
Katie nodded. “I started thinking about his family. My heart went out to him…I felt sorry for him, but I also started imagining a place for me in his life.”
Her mother nodded knowingly. “John, I told you she’d been taken with Jonathan for quite some time.”
“Poor Sarah’s death meant two things—it shook me out of what I thought was important with what actually was. And it, I’m ashamed to say—gave me hope.” Katie hung her head. It was terribly difficult to admit to wanting Jonathan, even back when he was still grieving for his wife.
“One night, I told Holly and Brandon the truth about who I was. And then I left them and never looked back, though what I had done and said weighed on me. Then, just after I went to go help with Mary and Hannah, Holly contacted me again. She sent me letters. I didn’t know what to do.”
“You should have told us about your worries, Katie,” her mother chided. “I could have helped. I could have least listened and prayed with you.”
“I think I had to face these fears on my own.” Taking a deep breath, she finished her story. “The last time I was at Mr. McClusky’s store, Holly found me.” Ignoring her mother’s gasp of surprise, Katie continued quickly. “She wanted me to go see her brother. He was dying of cancer and had never forgotten me. I went to see him last week.” Swallowing hard, she added, “He died soon after my visit.”