Holly shook her head in dismay. “Is that all our friendship was? Just an experiment to see what it was like to be someone else?” Her voice cracked. With effort, she breathed deep. “Is that all Brandon was to you?”
Embarrassed, Katie shook her head. “Of course not.”
“Then why did you just take off like you did?”
“Don’t act like we only had a simple disagreement. Holly, that last time I saw you, why, we argued something fierce. Don’t you remember?” Katie knew she’d never forget the looks of scorn Holly had sent her way. How Holly had told her that she’d never forgive Katie for using her like she did.
The quiet, crushed acceptance of Brandon’s face when he had realized that his feelings were far stronger than hers had ever been for him. “I didn’t think you would want to ever speak with me again.”
“I hadn’t planned to…”
“I really am sorry for my lies.” Katie knew she could never forget their last, tumultuous conversation. They’d been at Brandon and Holly’s house. They’d been sitting around, watching TV, doing nothing.
Then Brandon had told her he’d loved her.
And Katie had known that she hadn’t loved him. Worse, she realized she’d encouraged his feelings because she’d enjoyed the attention. She’d loved the freedom of pretending to be something she wasn’t.
But at that very moment, Katie had known one simple truth—she would never leave her faith.
Holly shook her head. “I probably said a lot of things I should never have uttered aloud. But, I was angry, Katie.”
“You had a right to be.”
Just as if Katie hadn’t spoken, Holly continued. “You lied to me. You lied about everything about yourself. But after all this time, don’t you think I had a reason for contacting you?” Folding her arms over her chest protectively, she lifted her chin. “This was the only place I could figure out to find you. I’ve been having to stand around here, waiting…hoping that sooner or later you’d show up. I don’t have the time for this. Things would have been a whole lot easier if you’d just met me at the Brown Dog.”
“I couldn’t. I…just couldn’t face you. You might not believe me, but I do feel awful about my lies. Holly, what do you want from me?”
“I need you to go see Brandon.”
Katie felt the wind being knocked out of her. “You don’t understand.” In spite of all attempts for control, her voice started to raise. “I can’t see him. I’m Amish.”
“You were Amish when we were friends, too.”
“That’s not quite true. We Amish do not join the church until we are adults, or close to it. When I met you and Brandon, I hadn’t joined yet.” Even to her own ears, Katie knew she was splitting hairs. In a quieter tone, she added, “Now that I’ve joined, I adhere to our customs. I would not feel right courting an Englischer.”
“I’m not asking for that.”
“Then why—” She cut herself off, feeling uneasy. Just a few feet away, Sam was watching them with intense interest. If he got wind of their conversation, it could be common knowledge in no time. Nervously, she cleared her throat. “Perhaps you should leave. I mean, I think it would be best now if I…”
Holly gripped her elbow. “Walk with me outside.”
“I can’t—”
“Yes, you can. I’m not going to wait any longer. Come out, or I swear I won’t even try to keep our conversation private. In no time everyone in here will know all about your lies. They’ll know for sure you aren’t near as sweet as you look. I mean it, Katie.”
Holly leaned closer, the look of fierce desperation in her eyes more powerful than any words could be. “I’m not the one at fault here. You have to listen to me. And you have to listen right now. You know I’ll do it. After all, I’ve got nothing to lose.”
“I’ve got to check on the girls first.”
Just as Holly walked out, Katie quickly approached Hannah and Mary. “I’m just going outside to speak to an English woman for a moment. I’ll be right back.”
“All right.” Mary was obviously having too good a time to worry about Katie’s conversations.
Katie found Holly sitting in one of the rocking chairs that dotted the wide front porch. “So…what is it about Brandon that you needed to talk to me about?”
“Brandon was diagnosed with cancer.”
Glad for the thick wooden railing behind her, Katie gripped it hard. “What?”
Her expression crushed, Holly said, “He’s really sick. It had already spread to his liver by the time they discovered it. He’s…he’s not going to last much longer.”