Wanted(40)

He’d made her feel special and pretty. Though she’d never intended to have a serious relationship with him, never had seriously doubted joining the church one day, she’d enjoyed pretending that she was emotionally involved.

And then late that night when she’d received that bear, after Brandon had told her how he loved her, everything had fallen to pieces. She’d confessed who she was. She revealed how she never intended for their friendship to be anything but a fleeting experiment of sorts. And when Holly had looked at her, so hurt and upset, when Brandon stared at her in shock, why, Katie felt the truth fall over her, plain as day.

She’d intentionally set out to deceive them and had succeeded.

However, the fact that she’d finally acknowledged the truth didn’t justify her actions or make them easier to accept.

Suddenly, all she’d wanted to do was run. Katie had grabbed that bear, run to the front door, thrown it open, and burst out into the night. As she made her way home, she’d vowed to start over again. She almost had.

In the dark chilliness of the terribly bare guest room, her head began to pound. That had been months ago. She’d moved on with her life. It was time the doubts and self-recriminations moved on, too.

But still she felt restless and unsettled. Thinking herbal tea might be the answer, Katie hastily wrapped herself in a thick robe and slippers and padded to the kitchen. She’d just filled the kettle with water and set it to heat on the stove when Mary came in.

“What are you doing?”

For once, Mary didn’t sound accusing. Instead, her voice merely sounded sleepy and young and curious. “Heating water for tea. I couldn’t sleep. What about you?”

The little girl moved closer, her thick rag-wool socks muffling her steps. “I couldn’t sleep, neither.”

Katie noticed Mary’s eyes were suspiciously bright, as if she was on the verge of tears. If it had been Anna, she would have hugged her friend and demanded to know the problem.

But things weren’t quite that easy with Mary. The girl was as prickly as a porcupine and sent barbs her way just as frequently. Gently she stated the obvious. “You’ve got school tomorrow. You need your rest.”

Mary merely shrugged. “I know.” To Katie’s surprise, the girl pulled out a chair and sat down. “Can I have some tea, too?”

“Sure.” When the water boiled, Katie strained some chamomile, then carefully carried two mugs to the table. “Here we are. Be careful now, it’s hot.”

Almost in unison, the two of them blew on the hot brew, then sipped. The feel of the hot water sliding down her throat felt good and immediately calmed her insides.

Mary looked to be enjoying the brew as well. Tentatively, Katie asked, “Are you excited about hosting church on Sunday?”

“Jah. We are all going to play hide-and-seek after we eat.”

“Henry and Rebekeh and I used to do the same thing. I really looked forward to hosting church, though it is a very big job.”

Mary took another sip, then a third. “We worked hard in the basement.”

“We certainly did. You and Hannah were mighty gut helpers. The floor is bright and shiny clean.”

Solemnly, Mary said, “We might have to sweep again after the benches are put in.”

“I imagine so. Well, we’ll have to hope that the weather stays cold. If it warms up, we’re going to have mud to pick up!”

Mary’s eyes widened. “Katie, we’d be cleaning all week.”

“Yes, indeed we would. But I have a feeling you and Hannah would make even that messy job a joy.”

“Maybe,” Mary agreed, then sipped again on her tea. After she set her mug down, she looked at Katie with eyes that showed she’d experienced quite a bit during her seven years. “You know, things are different with you here.”

“Are they?” Used to Mary’s stinging criticism, Katie braced herself to hear what awful thing she had done now.

“Even getting ready for church feels different.”

Since Mary didn’t sound critical, Katie sought her advice. “Am I forgetting to do something with the house? What does Winnie usually do to get ready? Does she do more in the basement than we’ve done?”

“I don’t think so.” Mary shrugged. “No, I’m not thinking about church.” Mary sipped again before expounding. “See, when Winnie is here, it was more like when my mamm was alive.”

“I know you miss your mamm. She was a wonderful woman.”

Mary’s cheeked pinked as she looked away. “I miss her. But, it’s not that.”

“I see.” Tentatively, Katie tried again. “Your mother and Winnie were gut friends, weren’t they?”