Wanted(34)

Shame, and the pure petrifying worry of what was in the letter, kept Katie from divulging all. Her past troubles were her own problems to bear—no one else’s. “I am having some…difficulty, but it’s nothing you can help me with.”

“What kind of difficulty? And why wouldn’t I be able to help you?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Of course I would. Katie, I lived most of my life in the outside world and seen some shady sides of it.” With a look of amusement, she added, “I’ve seen more hours of daytime television that you can imagine. Believe me, there’s nothing you could say that would shock me.”

Perhaps that was right. But Anna had one thing Katie never had—an openness about her. Katie always preferred to look as perfect as possible to the people in her community. By doing that, she was able to keep her private struggles to herself. And the plain truth was that there was nothing Anna could do to help her, anyway. She had made the mistakes. She was the one who had hurt people. Therefore, it was up to her to solve the problem. “I’m not ready to discuss it.”

Anna stepped right through her fragile barrier and pushed some more. “Won’t you at least tell me who is writing you?”

“It doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t know her.”

Anna grabbed hold of the clue. “Why wouldn’t I? Sam said she looks desperate. Why do you think that is? What does she want? How did you meet her?”

The panic was back. Engulfing. “I meant…I meant…oh, stop, Anna! There’s no reason for you to be involved.”

“I care about you. I see how worried you are. That’s reason enough for me to be involved.” Reaching out for Katie, she gripped her arm. “So it’s an English girl writing you?”

“Anna, I would rather not discuss it.”

“Where did you meet her? At the general store? At Mr. McClusky’s?”

“No.”

“Where then? At the inn?”

“Let’s not speak of it, please.”

“But I’m confused. Katie, we used to write to each other all the time. I’ve also seen you chat with any number of Englischers at the inn. It seems strange that these letters you are receiving are bothering you so much. Who do you not want to speak to? Why does this woman not even know where you live?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Katie, I promise that you’ll feel better if you let someone else share your burden.”

“Anna—”

But still Anna fired off another question. “Are you worried someone wants to do you harm? Is it safe for you to be alone?”

As much as she hated to shoo away her visitor, Katie resolutely walked to the kitchen door and lifted Anna’s coat off the peg. Having Anna involved would not solve Katie’s problems and only bring a lot of new ones to Anna.

And no matter what she had done so far, at least she hadn’t brought trouble into her friend’s life. Anna didn’t deserve that. No one did. Taking care to keep her expression blank, she said, “Thank you for stopping by and for delivering the letter. Thank you, also, for offering to help so much with the services.”

“You’re welcome. And, I’ll share the news about you hosting with your mother, though I imagine she’s most likely heard about it by now. Irene seems to know everyone and everything around here.”

Katie knew that was almost true. “When Jonathan brings the wagon with the benches, dishes, tablecloths, and such, I’ll look forward to your help.”

“You can count on it.” Reluctantly, Anna stood up. “Pushing your problems away doesn’t solve anything, you know. They’ll still be there until you face them. I know that more than anyone.”

Anna shook her head. “I tell you, no one would ever guess how stubborn you really are, Katie. You look so sweet and innocent.” With a small smile, she said, “Promise me you’ll let me help you the moment you are ready to talk.”

Katie liked how Anna phrased her offer. It reminded Katie that Anna knew about keeping secrets and not always feeling able to share them. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Hold on. I could visit you tomorrow?”

“We both have work to do, Anna. I’ll see you soon.”

“But—”

Katie practically shut the door on her friend. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to the thick wooden frame. “I’m sorry but I just couldn’t take another question.”

But more than that, she just couldn’t make herself lie anymore.

Her body shuddered. She felt out of breath, like she’d just run a long distance in the cold. Yes, that was what her body felt like—frozen.