She’d felt far more wicked when she took off her kapp and loosened her hair. Laura gave her an elastic to put it in a ponytail. Then she, Laura, and Laura’s neighbor James walked to town.
Looking back, Katie knew they’d looked nothing like regular Englischers. She had the wide-eyed expression of a deer in the glade.
But when they’d gone into a coffee shop called the Brown Dog, Laura introduced Katie to Holly and her brother, Brandon. The moment Brandon had looked her way and suddenly smiled, Katie had been smitten.
Oh, he’d been so handsome. He’d looked just like a man in one of Anna’s fashion magazines that she’d shared with her back when she used to visit for quilting classes.
And Holly, well, she’d liked Holly so much, too. Though Holly was a few years older, she liked many of the things that Katie did. And she’d been so nice. So friendly. She introduced Katie, Laura, and James to a number of her friends. And because Holly had accepted her, the other teenagers had, too. One hour passed, then two. The next thing she knew, Laura was telling Katie that they needed to leave as soon as possible.
To her delight, Brandon had looked disappointed. “Can I have your phone number? I’ll give you a call later.”
Since of course the only phone they had was for business at the inn, she put him off. “My folks don’t like me to receive phone calls.”
“Oh. Well, how about I stop by?”
“No, that’s probably not a good idea, either.”
Puzzled, he raised his eyebrows. “Well, will you at least come back here soon?”
His eagerness to see her again brought forth a rush of pleasure. Had she ever felt so wanted before? “Sure. I can do that.”
“Tomorrow? We’ll be hanging out here again tomorrow.”
Holly had grabbed her hand. “Please say you’ll come back.”
Though Laura and James were tapping their feet impatiently at the front door, Katie nodded. “I will. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
“Promise? We still have so much to talk about. You haven’t even told me about your school or your friends.”
“I will come back. I promise.”
Moments later, Laura called out her name. “Katie, we must go now.”
Holly chuckled as Katie practically ran out the door. “See you!”
The whole way home, Laura and James had talked about how strange the Englischers were. Laura in particular was uncomfortable. “If that is what we’ve been missing, I have to say I am glad,” she’d stated. “Katie, did you see the way that one boy was looking at you? I think he liked you.”
She had noticed. “I did.”
“He talked to you a lot, too. What was he talkin’ about?”
“Nothing special.” The lie felt horrible sliding off her tongue, but Katie did her best to look innocent.
“He was fairly handsome, I mean for an English boy.” With a sweet look toward James, Laura added, “I much prefer the Amish men I know.”
Katie had said nothing, mainly because she’d known that Laura really only wanted James to notice her.
So, she never told a soul she had plans. Secret plans. The first of many.
Katie’s hands shook as she stared at that box. Quickly, she put it away, hoping its removal would banish the memories.
Still they remained, stark and vivid. Not the least bit faded.
Quickly she put on a thick nightgown, hoping the soft flannel would chase away the chill that was surrounding her.
After checking on Roman, who was still happily curled in a little ball, Katie crawled under the thick layers of blankets and quilts. But sleep wouldn’t come. Why was she thinking about Holly and Brandon after all this time?
Could it be because of the things that Brandon had said? Because lately she was realizing that maybe no one would ever say words like that to her again?
Katie closed her eyes to ward off the memory. To ward off the wishes.
When no relief came, she did the only thing she could—she prayed to the only one who could give her peace. “God, please help me. I’ve been so good lately. I’m doing everything I can to make amends. Is that what is important? Is that enough?”
Only silence met her words. Swallowing hard, she spoke a little louder. “Lord, I can’t go back to the way I was. I need the protection of my family, of my Order. I need Your healing grace. Please stay with me and hold me. Walk by my side. Show me the way.” She closed her eyes and prayed one of her favorite verses. “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways.” But even the quote from Psalm 128 did little to ease her burdens.
In fact, all Katie noticed was that the lingering scent of roses and mint still hung thick in the air.