“Breathe, Simon, breathe.” I giggled, stroking his face as he struggled before me.
“You…are…a mad woman,” he panted, his hands looping underneath my arms and curling around the tops of my shoulders, keeping me firmly
against the side while I dug my heels into his backside, nudging him to exactly where I needed him. He closed his eyes and bit down on his lower
lip, an animalistic growl sounding low in his throat as I launched my second wave of the Lower Caroline-commanded attack.
“You feel uncommonly good,” I moaned as I began to kiss him again, raining them down across his mouth, his cheeks, his jaw, slipping
underneath to suck and bite at his neck as he dropped his head back to al ow my assault. His hands were rough on me, dipping down low on my
back and catching on my bikini strings, loosening the sides. The thought of my naked breasts against his skin drove me crazy with lust, and I
removed my hands from his poor hair to snake back behind my neck and pul on the knot. As I maneuvered, I knocked into one of the empty bottles
of Cava, starting a domino effect of bottles crashing to the ground. I giggled as he pul ed back, startled at the sound.
His eyes were smoky blue, crowded with lust, but as they focused on me, they began to crystal ize. I final y managed to get to the knot untied
and could feel the water swirl across my naked skin. I started to drop the strings, when Simon grasped them tightly in his hands. He shook his head
as though to clear it, then closed his eyes firmly, cutting off our connection.
“Hey, hey, hey!” I prodded, forcing his eyes open and making him look at me. “Where did you go just now?” I whispered.
He wrapped his hands, stil holding my strings, back around my neck. He slowly began to tie my suit back together, and I felt my face flush
bright red, al the blood in my body betraying me in that instant.
“Caroline,” he began, breathing heavily, but looking at me careful y.
“What’s wrong?” I interrupted.
His hands came to rest on my shoulders, and he seemed to be keeping a specific distance between us.
“Caroline, you’re amazing, but I…I can’t—” he started.
Now I was the one to close my eyes. Emotions whirled behind my eyelids, shame being chief among them. Heart plummeted. I could feel his
eyes on me, wil ing me to open my own.
“You can’t,” I stated, opening my eyes and looking anywhere but at him.
“No, I mean, I…” he stammered, clearly uneasy as he moved away from me.
I began to shake. “You…can’t?” I asked, suddenly feeling icy cold, even in the water. I unlocked my legs from around him, al owing him the
room he needed to move away.
“No, Caroline, not you. Not like—”
“Wel , don’t I feel like a fucking idiot?” I managed, laughing shortly and pul ing myself up and out of the water to the side of the hot tub.
“What? No, you don’t understand, I just can’t—” he started toward me, and I kicked out a leg, pressing my foot square in the center of his chest
to keep him away.
“Hey, Simon, I get it. You can’t. It’s cool. Wow, what a crazy night, huh?” I laughed again, swinging over the side and starting for the house,
wanting to get away before he could see the tears I knew were on their way. Of course, as I tried to navigate the steps, I slipped in a wet spot and
fel with a big thud. I could feel the back of my eyebal s begin to burn as I scrambled up as quickly as I could, panicked that I was going to cry before
I could get inside. Now that I was moving, I could feel the effects of al the alcohol I’d consumed, and the beginnings of a very strong headache.
“Caroline! Are you okay?” Simon cried, starting to get out of the hot tub.
“I’m fine. I’m fine. Just…” I got out, my throat beginning to close as I choked back a sob. I held my hand out behind me, wil ing him to understand
that I did not need his help. “I’m fine, Simon.”
I couldn’t turn around and see him. I just continued walking away. The cursed big band music stil played on the turntable, but I stil heard him
say my name once more. Ignoring it, I made my way to the door, feeling foolish now in my teeny bikini that was clearly not as enticing as I thought it
was.
I didn’t even bother to grab a towel. Instead I threw open the glass door and heard it slam shut behind me as I al but ran for my room. I left little
puddles along the slate floor down the hal way, trying to ignore the giggles coming from Sophia’s room. As the tears final y coursed down my
cheeks, I locked the door and stripped off my bathing suit. I stumbled into the bathroom, flicked on the light, and there I stood, reflected back to me.