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Wallbanger(37)

By:Alice Clayton


I’m ready to come home, yes. My flight gets in late tomorrow night. Or tonight. Shit, I don’t know.

Sophia asked me to officially ask you if you want to come along to Tahoe. You in?

Tahoe, huh?

Yep. I think Caroline is going.

I thought she wasn’t going.

Have you been talking to the Cockblocker?

Some. She’s pretty cool. The truce seems to be holding.

Hmmm. So, Tahoe?

Let me think about it. Windsurfing this weekend?

Yep.

Text between Simon and Caroline:

So I got invited to the Tahoe thing. Are you going?

You got invited? Ugh…

I take it you’re stil not sold on the idea?

I don’t know. I love going up there, and the house is pretty fantastic. Are you going?

Are you going?

I asked you first.

So what?

Child. Yes, I suppose I will end up going.

Great! I love it up there.

Oh, you’re going now?

Might as wel . Sounds like fun.

Hmm, we’ll see. Home tomorrow, yes?

Yep, late flight in and then sleeping for at least a day.

Let me know when you’re up. I’ve got that package for you.

Wil do.

And I’m baking zucchini bread tonight. I’ll save some for you. You probably have no groceries at all, right?

You make zucchini bread?

Yep

Sigh…

I woke up suddenly and heard music coming from next door. Duke El ington. I looked at the clock. It was after two in the morning. Clive poked

his head out from under the covers and hissed.

“Oh, shut up. Don’t be jealous,” I hissed back.

He glared at me, showing me his bum as he turned and wiggled his way back under the covers, head first.



I snuggled in deeper myself, smiling as I listened to the music.

Simon was home.

The next morning I woke up so happy it was Saturday. I was caught up on everything: no laundry to do, no errands to run. Just a day to enjoy

and relax. Fantastic.

I decided to start with a nice long bath, and then I’d decide what to do with my day. I was thinking of a run at Golden Gate Park that afternoon.

Fal in San Francisco was so pretty when the weather held. I just might take a book and spend the entire afternoon there.

I started the bath and Clive came in to keep me company. He weaved in and out of my legs as I dropped my pjs on the floor and meowed as

he explored the top of the tub. He loved to balance on the edge while I took a bath. He’d never fal en in, although sometimes he would dip his tail.

Sil y cat—one of these days he was gonna dip more than his tail.

I tested the water. It was just beginning to make its way up the side of the giant tub when I decided I needed a little coffee before I settled in. I

padded out to the kitchen—naked as the day is long—to make myself a cup. I yawned as I measured the beans for the grinder.

I tossed a few spoonfuls into the filter and went to get water. As soon as I turned on the faucet, the screeching began.

First I heard Clive meow like never before. Then I heard splashing. I started to smile, thinking he’d final y fal en in, when the water from the sink

shot straight in my face.

I blinked furiously, confused until I realized water was shooting out the top of the faucet, spraying the entire kitchen. “Shit!” I screamed, trying to

turn it off. No luck.

I ran to the bathroom, stil swearing and found Clive hiding behind the toilet, soaking wet, and the tub faucet spraying wildly al over the

bathroom. “What the—?” I cried, trying again to turn off the water. Then I began to panic. It was like the entire apartment had gone haywire at the

same moment. There was water spraying everywhere, and Clive was stil screeching at the top of his lungs.

I was naked, sopping wet, and freaking out.

“Motherfuckingcocksuckershitdamndamn!” I screamed and grabbed a towel. I tried to think, tried to calm down. There must be a shut-off valve

somewhere. I’d redesigned bathrooms, for Christ’s sake. Think, Caroline!

About this time I heard the banging coming from somewhere else in the apartment. Of course I thought it was the bedroom first—natural y. But

no, it was the front door.

Wrapping the towel around myself and stil cursing enough to make a sailor blush, I stomped across the floor, fortunately not slipping in the

col ecting water, and angrily swung the door open.

Of course it was Simon.

“Are you out of your goddamned mind? What’s with al the screaming?”

I practical y didn’t notice the green plaid boxers, the sleep hair, or the speedbump abs. Practical y.

Survival mode kicked in, and I grabbed him by the elbow as he was rubbing his eye and dragged him forcibly into the apartment. “Where the

hel is the shut-off valve in these apartments?” I shrieked.

He looked around at the chaos: water spraying from the kitchen, water on the floor from the bathroom, and me in my Camp Snoopy towel,