Micah’s round-the-clock orgasms couldn’t save him when I found out he’d been using my AmEx to pay for his sex wax. And his cel phone bil . And
his trip to Fiji that I wasn’t even invited on. To the curb, surfer boy. To the curb.
I might have taken one more for the road before he left though. Ahh, the days before O’s departure. Round-the-clock orgasms. Sigh.
“So, wait a minute, have you seen him since the hal way encounter?” Sophia asked after we’d ordered and I’d come back from my surfer
memories.
“No,” I groaned.
Mimi patted my arm soothingly. “He’s cute, isn’t he?”
“Dammit—yes! Too cute for his own good. He’s such an asshole!” I slammed my hand down on the table so hard I made the silverware
bounce. Sophia and Mimi exchanged a glance, and I showed them my middle finger.
“And then that morning, he’s in the hal way with Purina, kissing on her! It’s like some sick, twisted orgasm town going over there, and I want no
part of it!” I said, chewing furiously on my lettuce after tel ing them the story for the third time.
“I can’t believe Jil ian didn’t warn you about this guy,” Sophia mused, pushing her croutons around on her plate. She was on a no-bread thing
again, terrified of the five pounds she claimed she’d put on in the last year. She was ful of it, but there was no arguing with Sophia when she set her
mind to something.
“No, no, she says she doesn’t know this guy,” I reported. “He must’ve moved in since the last time she was there. I mean, she hardly ever
stayed in that place. They just kept it so they always had a place to stay in the city. According to the neighbors, he’s only been in the building a year
or so. And he travels al the time.” As I spoke, I realized I’d compiled quite a dossier on this guy.
“So has he been wal banging at al this week?” Sophia asked.
“Relatively quiet, actual y. Either he real y listened to me and is being neighborly, or his dick final y broke off in one of them and he’s sought
medical attention,” I said, a little too loudly. The table of businessmen must’ve been listening pretty closely as they al choked a little just then and
shifted in their seats, perhaps crossing their legs in unwitting sympathy. We giggled and continued our lunch.
“Speaking of Jil ian, you guys are invited out to the house in Sausalito next weekend for their housewarming party,” I informed them.
They both immediately fanned themselves. Benjamin was the one guy we al agreed on. Whenever we’d plied Jil ian with enough liquor, we’d
confess our crush to her and make her tel us stories about him. If we were lucky and had managed to get an extra martini into her…wel , let’s just
say it was nice to know sex continued to be worth doing even after your man was wel into his forties. The one about Benjamin and the Tonga Room
at the Fairmont Hotel? Wow. She was a lucky woman.
“That’l be cool. Why don’t we come over and get ready at your place, like the old days?” Mimi squealed as Sophia and I plugged our ears.
“Yes, yes, that’s fine, but no more squealing or we’l leave your ass with the bil ,” Sophia scolded as Mimi settled back into her seat, eyes
sparkling.
After lunch, Mimi walked toward her next appointment around the corner, and Sophia and I shared a cab.
“So, naughty dreams about your neighbor. Let’s hear it,” she began, to the great delight of the cab driver.
“Eyes on the road, sir,” I instructed as I caught him looking at us in the rear view mirror.
I let my thoughts drift to the dreams, which had come every night for the past week. I, on the other hand, had not—ratcheting up my sexual
frustration to a critical point. When I could ignore the O, I was okay. Now that I was treated to dreams of Simon every night, O’s absence was even
more pronounced. Clive had taken to sleeping on top of the dresser, safer with my flailing legs, you see.
“The dreams? The dreams are good, but he’s such an asshole!” I exclaimed, thumping my fist on the door.
“I know. That’s what you keep saying,” she added, looking at me careful y.
“What? What is that look?”
“Nothing. Just looking at you. You’re awful y worked up over someone who’s an asshole,” she said.
“I know.” I sighed, looking out the window.
“You’re poking me.”
“I am not.”
“Seriously, what the hel is in your pocket, Mimi? Are you packing?” Sophia exclaimed, jerking her head away as Mimi pressed the curling iron
through her hair.
I smiled from my place on the bed, lacing up my sandals. I’d put my own hair up in rol ers before the girls got here, so I’d been spared the ful