was almost unable to stop it. I needed some time to process this, to understand how I was feeling—other than miserable. But I adored Simon, and
he didn’t deserve this. So I let myself fal into the kiss, be swept away by this man once more. I kissed him back feverishly, passionately, and then
pul ed away just before it could become something more than a kiss.
“Fruit?”
“Huh?”
“Fruit. I made fruit salad. Want some?”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sounds good. Coffee made?”
“Water is boiling. French press is al ready to go.” I patted him on the cheek as I waved him toward the pot. We coexisted in the kitchen, talking
quietly, and Simon stole a kiss or two here and there. I tried not to show how messed up my brain was, tried to act as normal as I could. Simon
seemed to sense something was up, but he took his cue from me, let me lead this morning.
We sat outside on the terrace one last time, eating our breakfast together and watching the breakers rol in.
“Are you glad you came?” he asked.
I bit down on my lip at the obvious. “I’m so glad. This trip was amazing.” I smiled, reaching across the table for his hand and giving it a squeeze.
“And now?”
“And now what? Back to reality. What time does your flight get in tomorrow?” I asked.
“Late. Real y late. Should I cal you or…” He left off, seeming to ask me if he should come over.
“Cal me when you get in, no matter what time, okay?” I replied, sipping my coffee and watching the ocean. He was quiet now, and this time
when I bit down on my lip it was to keep from crying.
I had packed early, so when the driver got here, I was ready to go. Simon had tried to tempt me to join him in the shower, but I begged off,
making an excuse about finding my passport. I was panicking and pul ing away just when we’d been getting so close, but this had real y thrown me
for a loop.
I had put al my Os in one basket, and the problem wasn’t Simon. It was me. The sex had been unreal, amazing, perfection even with a condom
on, and yet stil , no.
Simon walked my bags out to the car and placed them in the trunk. After speaking to the driver for a moment, he came back to me as I walked
through the house one last time. It truly had been a fairy tale, and I had enjoyed every moment.
“Time to go?” I asked, leaning back against him when he approached me at the terrace railing. I was glad for the feel of him against me.
“Time to go. You have everything you need?”
“I think so. I wish I could figure out a way to get some of those prawns home, though.” I laughed, and he snorted into my hair.
“I think we can find something at home that wil be suitable. Maybe we can have the others over next weekend and recreate some of the stuff
we ate here?”
I turned to face him. “Make our debut?” I grinned.
“Yeah, sure. I mean, if you want to,” he added sheepishly, looking at me careful y.
“I do,” I answered. And I did. Even without the stupid, blessed O, I wanted to be with Simon.
“Okay, debut over prawns. That sounds weird.”
I laughed as he hugged me to him. The driver honked, and we shuffled toward the car.
“I’l cal you when I’m back, okay?” he said.
“I’l be there. Get some good work done,” I instructed.
He brushed my hair back from my face and leaned in to kiss me once more.
“Bye, Caroline.”
“Bye, Simon.” I got in the car. And drove away from the fairy tale.
Once I was ensconced in my first-class seat, I had nothing but hours to contemplate. Strike that. I had nothing but hours to sit and stew and
grumble. I’d cried in the car on the way to the airport, trying al the while to assure the driver I was fine and not stone-cold crazy. I cried because,
wel , there was sure as shit a lot of tension in my body, and it had to come out some way. And so it did, through my eyebal s. I was sad, and I was
frustrated. Now I was done crying.
I tried to read. I’d stocked up on trashy magazines in the airport in Malaga. As I paged through them, titles of articles jumped out at me:
“How to Know If You’re Having the Best Orgasm You Can Have”
“Kegel Your Way to Multiples”
“New Weight Loss Plan: Orgasm Your Way to a Thinner You!”
Lower Caroline, Brain, Backbone, Heart were al lined up and throwing stones at Nerves, who was trying her best to hide.
I slammed down al my new magazines, throwing them into the seatback in front of me. I grabbed my laptop, powered it up, and put in my
earbuds. I’d loaded some movies on before the last flight. I could let my brain escape into a film. Yes, I could do that. I scrol ed through some of the