Hearing him say I love you breaks me down, making me want to run into his arms and scream that I love him back, and that I never stopped. Shit, all that will do is guarantee for me to be crushed again. It broke my heart to lie to him and tell him I don’t love him anymore. I hate it. I hate it.
Hemy doesn’t waste any time driving off, heading in the direction of his street. I can see the fight in him this time. He’s different: stronger, sober, and determined, all the things that I hoped for in the beginning. Now . . . it will be me to fuck things up.
I keep my face toward the window for the rest of the ride, fighting my hardest not to cry. I have been strong for four years and I refuse to let anyone see me cry now, especially Hemy. As long as I pretend that I don’t have feelings, the safer from him I will be.
When we arrive at his house, Hemy turns to me and reaches out his arm. It’s so inviting, making me want to crawl over to him and give into everything I’m fighting. “Come here,” he whispers.
I look at him, but don’t say a word. I can’t or I’ll cry.
“I. Said. Come. Here.” Reaching over, he pulls me into his lap so that my knees are positioned on the outside of his thighs. “Don’t be afraid of me.” He wraps both hands in the back of my hair and looks me in the eyes. My heart skips a beat at the warmth of his touch. “I love you more than anything in this world. I would give my life to make you happy. Please, don’t be afraid of me. It kills me.”
Feeling a tear form in my eye, I try to turn away, but Hemy grabs my face to stop me, his jaw clenching as he watches me.
“Let me see you,” he breathes. “I need to see that you still love me. You may not want to say it . . . but I see it. Just let me see it.”
I let the tear fall freely down my face, followed by a few more that I can’t seem to hold back. Hemy reaches up to wipe my tears away and that’s when I lose it. My whole body shakes as I let it all go. All the pain and hurt I have been keeping inside since the day I walked out his door comes raging out.
My face is flooded with tears now. I can barely see Hemy through the mess, but I can feel him squeezing me closer, telling me to let it all out. A part of me feels relieved.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, while pressing his forehead against mine. “I promise to show you that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Do you understand?”
“Hemy,” I cry out. “I need to tell you something. I-”
“Do. You. Understand?” I nod my head, while trying to catch my breath. “I don’t want to talk about your doubts or anything bad tonight. I just want to be with you. Can you do that for me? Please.”
Taking a deep breath, I swallow and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him as close to me as I can. I love this man so much. He’s my world and has been for ten years. This feeling I have right now, in his arms, him holding me as close as he can, is the best feeling in the world and I never want to lose it again.
I feel Hemy plant a few kisses on the top of my head before he reaches for the door and pushes in open.
“Hemy,” I cry.
He places both hands on my face and looks at me with questioning eyes.
“I really have something important to tell you tomorrow. This can’t wait much longer,” I say nervously. “You might just hate me forever after I tell you. I’m so scared.”
A small smile crosses his face before he playfully sucks in his lip ring and rubs his thumb under my eye. “Nothing could ever keep me from loving my world and you’ve been that for the last ten years.” He helps me out of his lap and out of the truck before hopping out himself. “Let’s go.”
Once inside, Hemy runs a bubble bath and lights the candles while I brush my teeth, watching him in the mirror. I still can’t get enough of him. I see him approaching me from behind, before I feel his arms wrap around me. I can feel the warmth of his breath kissing my neck.
I lean my neck back and moan as he teases me with his lip ring, running it up my neck and stopping under my ear. “Take your clothes off.”
Turning around in his arms, I reach for the bottom of my dress and slowly lift it over my head, with Hemy’s strong hands trailing up my skin behind it. His touch gives me instant goose bumps, hardening my nipples, and making my flesh tingle.
Nothing turns me on more than being naked for this man. The way he handles my body is beautiful and breathtaking. He may have a rough exterior, but once he lets you in, he’s the best lover you could possibly have; although, this is the gentlest I have ever seen him. It only makes me love him more.
I toss my dress aside. Hemy reaches behind me with one hand and unclasps my bra, before kissing his way down my stomach while pushing down my panties and tossing them aside after I step out of them.